Found first baby holiday so stressful

We first took a ‘proper’ holiday with Dds when they were 3 and 3 months.
Beach holiday, it was fine. Baby was a reasonable sleeper and spent a fair bit of time in her pram under a shady tree - when I wasn’t sitting with her by the pool. 3 year old could already swim, and wore herself out by spending most of the day in the pool.

Couldn’t get 3 year old in the sea at all, so dh and I took turns by the pool, so we could enjoy sea swims/water-skiing.

My first one will have been abroad five times before age three and the second baby is about to fly at 4 months for the first time.

I found the first trip abroad exhausting but that had nothing to do with us being abroad, he was a difficult sleeper at home, too. The other trips went really well and I definitely prefer traveling with kids to staying at home.

The key is to know what you want to do, broadly speaking, but not plan too much. We were in a local bazaar in Turkey and he kicked off in the pram so got a new toy from the stalls asap, bribing him intensely for a couple of days won’t ruin his character :D Most of the time he liked watching what was going on in the bazaars. Then his dad took him to run around a local park when I sat down enjoying a take away coffee, or we bought ice cream. We popped back in the hotel for naps if he didn’t like the pram but usually he dozed off there eventually. NONE of this was planned or scheduled, the only thing was that we wanted to see x area, and then were very flexible there. It was a lovely day.

Never book resorts for heavens sake lol they’re miles away so what will you do if you’ve pre-paid to eat at certain times there (traveling back and forth), or need to pop into your room quickly (but can’t because too far)? Nightmare! Better to stay in city centre or old town and return for naps or quiet time when needed. It means you can conveniently return to that same bazaar later on or another day, instead of losing out if you needed to leave early. City centre also allows you to eat/snack out immediately when needed with a lot of places to choose from.

We’re already planning ahead how to entertain him in the next flight. He’ll get a few of these felt activity books or books with pop out features, he’ll be bored with normal old books. Need to find some new sweet snacks he’s never tried before to keep him quiet and interested. Dad walks around airport whilst I stand in baggage queue and comes when I call him. Hula hoops will be rationed one by one when he’s strapped in the pram in the long security queue, and we might just make it without hissy fits. Download two movie in advance so you can swap to another one after losing interest in five mins. It is relentless proactive entertaining and eating when needed but it’s worth it for us as life is too short to sit at home.

And before anyone says it, yes I know this might not work with kids who have neurodiversity, or those who have a routine down to half an hour slots. We have an approximate routine at home in that he eats and naps at some point during maybe a two hour window, depending on what he needs. Night sleep is set at home, so hotels are easy when he’s ready knock out anyways.

It depends on the child, circumstances and what you find fun /a good holiday.

We always had good holidays/mini breaks and DD was the baby/toddler that wouldn't eat or sleep . I even took her by myself to visit friend/family abroad and all over the UK. But my idea of a good holiday is seen as pure hell by some people and I have low standards/I'm easily entertained.

I'm feeling like a bit of a rubbish mum for not being able to take baby on trips successfully and finding it all so stressful you are totally normal. Babies are easiest at home, in routine with everything you need around you. Don't even think of staying a hotel where you haven't got anywhere to retreat (apart from possibly the bathroom) once your baby is asleep. And even a one hour time difference if you try to go further afield will take ages to adjust to. We adapted by prioritising lovely self catering accommodation so we didn't feel the need to be out all the time, staying somewhere where we could easily strap the kids in a pushchair and go straight out of the door for a stroll and adapting activities to their schedule - which can work in your favour in some busy places! Getting out on the streets at 6am for a bit of sightseeing in busy tourist cities means you miss the crowds. I remember some young German's offering to take a family photo of us in front of the Brandenburg Gate at 7am on a bright morning and asking them why they were up so early - they replied that they were still up from the night before which I felt perfectly exemplified the adjustment that needed to be made. We had a relaxed breakfast in an empty cafe and then went home for a snooze.

I fell for this.
A holiday is not a holiday if I'm cooking.

I think it depends on the dc as we’ve done all sorts with ours and it’s been fine - cottages, sun holidays, theme parks etc. I wouldn’t take little ones on long flights in case they screamed the plane down for hours or for cultural city breaks except London (because the museums are free so if they kick off you don’t feel like it’s cost you 40 euros to look at one statue).

We’ve tended to fit our activities around what the dc like, so if they like trains we go on a train, animals we go to a farm or zoo etc. Once they’re crawling and walking we avoided quiet restaurants you sit down in for a long time but that doesn’t mean you can’t eat nice food. Also we don’t expect late nights on the cocktails anymore but I can’t do that myself now anyway 😁

Nothing on social media is accurate so there is literally no point comparing yourself to someone’s fake version of a life that doesn’t exist. I’m sure you will have enjoyable holidays in the future 😊

Because DH was a farmer I took the DCs on holiday with my parents, self catering in Wales, Devon, Hampshire, Cornwall. Because I had realistic expectations it actually went really well and I even took my nephew as well a couple of times.
I always planned to be near a beach, local shop and ensured there was an enclosed garden.
I never considered going abroad although my DS and his family have been doing it since the DGCs were tiny babies and they seem to have managed without too much trouble.
I think it’s all down to your expectations.

People post on instagram literally the best 'moment' of their day. In any one day we probably all have a picture perfect moment (or one we could manufacture) to take a picture of. The other 23 hours, 59 minutes could be a total shit show. This is what I try to remember - if I posted the 'best' second of my day what would it be, and what assumptions would my audience make?!

I agreee re holidays. I also found the Lakes different with a baby of a very similar age. We used to do a lot of walking and I was worried about just putting her in a back pack and walking without doing something to actively entertain her.

We're going back to lakes next week actuallly. We've decided to take it slowly, and pace activities. So a bit of her walking up a hill and then a bit of a carry, lots of stops for nature pottering, snacks. But yeh holidays with a toddler are not relaxing by any stretch! But these are the days, and one day the relaxation holidays will be back and will probably miss the small kid days.

But take heart. I don't know anyone who finds holidays with small children easy. Expectation management is key.

Good way of looking at it.

In many ways, it’s harder due to changed routines, tiredness etc.

We didn't go abroad until ds was 3 as I didn't want to have to worry about cots, nappies, and pushchairs. Before that, we stayed in self-catering cottages/flats. Generally, uk seaside resorts. We had a great time. Lots do do in walking distance, trips to the farm, beach, play park or a trip on a boat. We took our own travel cot. Mostly took picnic lunches with us out. Ds slept through from 6 weeks so no night wake ups, even on holiday. Don't give up holidaying.

Same here. We just went for one night away in the UK with baby and it took longer to pack and unpack than the time spent away 😂 not worth it. Then there's the added stress of finding somewhere suitable to eat/pram friendly walks/planning around nap times and feeding times. Definitely not relaxing!

They are stressful. I'd either not bother or do self catering close to a beach or park.

The one upside I found is that I couldn't look around and think 'I must put the washing away' or 'look at that cobweb' .

I'd say holidays have only started to become enjoyable with my 3 year old twins in the last 6 months or so but still requires a bit of planning and adapting depending on weather and moods and excess energy - it's not a holiday for me though and I don't think it will be for many years to come 😂

I might be unusual but I never bothered with holidays until my DCs were school age. It was too stressful. My ex never helped with parenting so I would just be doing the same shit in a different (unfamiliar) place. It was easier to stay at home.

In fairness it was my routine that saved our holidays ! So we knew for eg that they would take a 2 hour nap in the buggy in the shade, that was our chance to have a sunbathe, swim etc (separately!). Likewise our babies slept in the buggy at night while we ate then transferred to the dark room while we chatted on the balcony. Routine was key for me...

We find holidays with our DS quite stressful too. And the worst time was between 8 - 13 months as he crawled, climbed and pulled on everything in sight. We have to remove everything from his reach so hate places with ornaments and decor etc. He hasn't been in a carrier since 4 months he screams the street down in it. He needs to be moving all day long other than naps. We can't eat out with him etc. It's totally dependent on the child (sorry superior mums who think you've smashed it...).

We are braving another holiday with him but this time have booked somewhere specifically for pre-school children with a farm, soft play and ride on toys. We don't ever plan days out anymore but will aim to leave early to do something in the morning and get home for lunchtime nap. Then there's a hot tub we can relax in during his nap. We usually book places with a hot tub now because it makes us feel relaxed and it's a special treat! We get in during his nap and after 7pm when he's asleep.

Maybe booking a specific toddler friendly place would help? Look on Kiddie Holidays, we found our one there x

We took nice holidays with babies. Not as nice as without! But equally I couldn't bear not going away at all. Kept it v simple, all inclusive resorts so no cooking for us. Made sure we got a brilliant shade for the buggy so baby got proper naps and stuck to their routine. So. Up early, walks, paddling, lunch, nap, more play, dinner, bed and finally a well earned wine on the balcony. Repeat for 6 days. I think self catering or a cottage in the rain would be much harder. Once you have factor 50 sun suits and plenty shade then sun is easier. But you do you !

Either go abroad when they're pre 6 months and completely portable with lots of naps, or don't go away until they're at least 4 UNLESS you go away with family with lots of willing babysitters.

We laugh about it now but found first holiday as parents such a shock! Just the realisation when we got there that it wasn’t time to open a beer and put your feet up😂
we love holidays with the kids now (two still toddlers and one older) as it gets easier every year. Gradually less stuff to take and kids able not handle more spontaneous stuff.

Don’t be put off giving it another a go! Not always a popular opinion but I found mid week term time centre parcs great for this age, full of other tired parents and everything geared towards kids but with a Starbucks thrown in.

@DifficultBloodyWoman checked with P&O babies, must be 6 months plus to travel, but can't access the kids' club without an adult until the age of 2. But you can go.in with them and have a play, just can't leave them.
They do have a night nursery they must be asleep . You have to settle them . Then the buzz you if they wake . Knowing what my oldest was like it probably won't get used !

I think it’s very dependent on the personality of the child. We had quite a portable under one year old and also not too bad as a toddler. We never had a very rigid routine. Naps at nursery were regular but we kept things more fluid on non nursery days. He was used to being out and about in the afternoons. But a very easy baby and toddler in general. It really is luck whether you get one of those or not.

We did stuff with ours at that age but didn't worry about routine. They slept in carrier etc They ate whatever we found that was suitable eg bread sticks, cheese. Drank cows milk.
We also camped and they bathed in a flexi bucket lol.
I think it's a killer if trying to stick to routines

I looked into cruises as I thought it would be a good option with a baby but the cruise lines I was interested in didn’t allow babies under the age of one.

That might not be the case with the cruise you plan to take but just wanted to flag it up so you can double check.

Bon voyage!

We didn't go on holiday at all until he was 3, and that was a bit of a nightmare 😳 . He had his first foreign holiday last year at 8 ( cruise from Southampton, so no flights). It's really good.

Now I am pregnant with number 2 and had to transfer the cruise we had booked to next year or lose the deposit . Baby will be 10 months, and I am dreading it. At least there are no flights .

I think maybe you over planned things. We’ve got a 12 week old and already been to Devon. We found the best thing to do was not plan stuff and see how little one is feeling each day which then determined what we did. We also don’t really do a day time routine with baby. She gets fed and naps when she wants. 7pm is always bath time and then bed, but in the day it’s all baby led so I suppose in a way we let her lead our holiday too and we found it relaxing.