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Original poster

Baby rarely cries and I was told he’s autistic

162 replies

Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 00:47

My baby rarely cries and is four months old. His auntie has just said that’s a sign of autism. She’s studying psychology at uni.

If baby does cry I can usually get it sorted (food, wind, cuddle).

Aibu in thinking that she’s unreasonable making such sweeping statements.

i have googled it and it appears to be true :/

OP posts:
DFO · 01/04/2024 01:23

If your baby has autism, they have it, but at 4 months, no one can tell you,
least of all a psychology student going off 1 symptom.

Let you baby develop and if you have any concerns later down the line, speak to a medical professional.

I have 2 children who both never cried much as babies, one has autism and one is NT. There were things from my child’s baby and toddler years which probably were due to autism but were never realised without my child getting older and other things becoming noticeable.

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:22

fedupandstuck · 01/04/2024 01:21

Nothing you describe sounds unusual for. 4 month old. Don't let one stupid comment knock your confidence. Keep doing all the talking, smiling, singing, holding, interacting as you've been doing.

There's no point worrying about any possible future diagnosis of anything. Your baby is developing normally right now and you have no issues with his development. So, nothing to diagnose, no issues that need addressing, no symptoms that need handling. Nothing to be concerned about.

Thanks.

how much interacting do I need to do?

like I’m not going to leave him to watch tv all day but I also have to run a house and don’t have anyone else to interact with him….

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 01/04/2024 01:22

Have you spoken to your health visitor about how you are feeling? Do you have PND?

tiredinoratia · 01/04/2024 01:21

She might be studying psychology but she certainly won't make a good Psychologist making statements like that! What a 'know it all' comment to make without thinking about the ramifications of her words and uninvited opinion. What a dick move on her part. Psychology undergraduates are insufferable. It think they should be taught ethics and application before acadmic content (edited for typo).

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:21

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 01/04/2024 01:14

My youngest son cried all the time. My older two never cried anywhere near as much. My youngest son, the crier, is my only son with Autism

Your sons auntie is crazy

It would seem a crying baby is more an indicator… which goes against some of what I’ve read. But you can literally find anything online…. And I need to remind myself.

OP posts:
fedupandstuck · 01/04/2024 01:21

Nothing you describe sounds unusual for. 4 month old. Don't let one stupid comment knock your confidence. Keep doing all the talking, smiling, singing, holding, interacting as you've been doing.

There's no point worrying about any possible future diagnosis of anything. Your baby is developing normally right now and you have no issues with his development. So, nothing to diagnose, no issues that need addressing, no symptoms that need handling. Nothing to be concerned about.

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:20

Nori10 · 01/04/2024 01:10

Sounds like you have a contented baby! Just enjoy it. I hate that this worry has been put upon you. It's not something you can control anyway and most likely, it's not even anything you need to worry about. Both of mine were contented babies btw.

I think he knows I couldn’t handle anything more.

Looking back there have been times he’s been crying and I’ve called my parents in floods of tears, but I think that’s tiredness making everything worse.

im just worried about my bond as well. And rejecting him.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 01/04/2024 01:20

Janedoe82 · 01/04/2024 00:54

My second child was very settled and rarely cried. Doesn’t have autism. Was just an easy baby.

Same here

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:18

VivienneDelacroix · 01/04/2024 01:12

I have three children.

DC1 cried for hours and hours at a time - he's now diagnosed as autistic.

DC2 very rarely cried, he was so so quiet, but HV said that he didn't need to cry as his needs were being met. No diagnosis.

DC3 cried slightly less than DC1 but much more than DC2. She is diagnosed as autistic.

So no, not crying is not a sign of autism in a young baby. Perhaps not crying out for help in a toddler - potentially, but please don't worry. Enjoy your baby and tell his auntie that she is a student because she is learning.

Thank you.

i hope your child and yourself are getting support

OP posts:
YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 01/04/2024 01:14

My youngest son cried all the time. My older two never cried anywhere near as much. My youngest son, the crier, is my only son with Autism

Your sons auntie is crazy

VivienneDelacroix · 01/04/2024 01:12

I have three children.

DC1 cried for hours and hours at a time - he's now diagnosed as autistic.

DC2 very rarely cried, he was so so quiet, but HV said that he didn't need to cry as his needs were being met. No diagnosis.

DC3 cried slightly less than DC1 but much more than DC2. She is diagnosed as autistic.

So no, not crying is not a sign of autism in a young baby. Perhaps not crying out for help in a toddler - potentially, but please don't worry. Enjoy your baby and tell his auntie that she is a student because she is learning.

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:12

Pieceofpurplesky · 01/04/2024 01:10

@Bigbenbube DS was not a crier. He would look at me - just look. As soon as he could function like a human he was putting things together in colour order.
Yes he was on the spectrum but at 20 he is now a fabulous, quirky and brilliant human who is studying his passions at university.

Your DC will be what he is and be amazing. Enjoy him, quirks and all

Do you mean never cried or just not a crier?

I do need to make piece if he is autistic (or anything else). I do find being a parent hard and I am getting help with my bondz

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:10

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/04/2024 01:08

My baby screamed non stop until he was two. He is autistic.

Is it an indicator of ND?

would you mind if I asked questions?

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 01/04/2024 01:10

@Bigbenbube DS was not a crier. He would look at me - just look. As soon as he could function like a human he was putting things together in colour order.
Yes he was on the spectrum but at 20 he is now a fabulous, quirky and brilliant human who is studying his passions at university.

Your DC will be what he is and be amazing. Enjoy him, quirks and all

Nori10 · 01/04/2024 01:10

Sounds like you have a contented baby! Just enjoy it. I hate that this worry has been put upon you. It's not something you can control anyway and most likely, it's not even anything you need to worry about. Both of mine were contented babies btw.

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:09

Pinkbonbon · 01/04/2024 00:55

I was just giving a sweeping statement.
If he's still silent in another 6 month then maybe it's worth investigation. As is, provided its HIS normal, I wouldn't worry.

Show quote history

He’s not silent, he just rarely cries. He will only cry for food…. And I could probably take him out all day and he won’t eat and just sleep (I think he hates the brightness outside). Cried so hard after his last vaccine but quickly shut up.

My baby also sleeps a lot.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 01/04/2024 01:08

My baby screamed non stop until he was two. He is autistic.

redalex261 · 01/04/2024 01:07

My daughter only cried if hungry at that age. Either asleep or alert but not crying. She’s 16 and not autistic. Don’t listen to unqualified people IRL or online making sweeping pronouncements on topics they know nothing about. Just carry on being a relaxed mum and enjoy your baby. He’ll cry enough to reassure you going forward!

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:06

Janedoe82 · 01/04/2024 00:49

He is four months! Far to early to diagnose.
Keep talking and singing and cuddling him to build all the neurones in his brain!

I’ve got a lot better at this….. but I don’t understand how much I’m supposed to do it? It’s also hard a I’m alone.

can I just talk to him or do I need to look at him all the time? For example if I’m doing the washing up I can talk bout what I’m doing and talk to him, but obviously I do need to look at the dishes/clean the kitchen so I’m not always facing him or looking at him

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:03

K37529 · 01/04/2024 01:03

What a strange comment to make about a 4 month old baby. Does she have any children of her own? Some babies cry a lot, some don’t and a 4 month old will only cry to have their needs met or if they’re in pain etc, sounds like you just have a happy baby.

He has a dummy which shuts him up…. :/

no she doesn’t have children

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:03

Mama2many73 · 01/04/2024 00:55

My dm had 4 babies. First one average baby second cried nearly all the time. third rarely cried easily settled content, 4th average baby.
I'm the third , dm.said i was an easy baby and I'm.def not on autistic spectrum. I'm not saying it is not a sign of autism but your sons nature will also play into his behaviour.

Also people studying psychology etc often become over fixated on details theyre learning. She s not qualified at anything and definitely not qualified to judge a 4mth old baby ( noone is, it can't be done)

Ignore her and enjoy your baby x

My mum said I was a quiet baby. I sometimes think i must be autistic as I get way to emotional but the therapist said I was emotionally neglected. So…

OP posts:
K37529 · 01/04/2024 01:03

What a strange comment to make about a 4 month old baby. Does she have any children of her own? Some babies cry a lot, some don’t and a 4 month old will only cry to have their needs met or if they’re in pain etc, sounds like you just have a happy baby.

YoongiMarryMe · 01/04/2024 01:01

My youngest (he’s 16 now) just never cried. We were very attentive parents (his big brother died and then he had a very rocky start to life so we basically had him in our arms 24/7!) so he just didn’t need to cry plus it turned out he was just naturally a calm baby/boy/teenager.

He also never smiled as a baby and didn’t do those crazy baby giggles where they just fall into hysterics when they find something funny. A few people commented on this and autism was mentioned more than a few times.

He was just chill. Grin

Original poster
Bigbenbube · 01/04/2024 01:01

Mumoftwo1312 · 01/04/2024 00:56

Does your baby make eye contact and/or smile? I think those are considered more reliable indicators.

Even if he doesn't yet, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

My ds barely ever cries. Just an occasional murmur to let you know he's hungry or uncomfortable. Another mum told me "boys are just too lazy to cry" which is obviously nonsense but did make me chuckle. He makes eye contact, smiles, laughs and has even started to babble (3.5mo) so I'm not at all worried.

He doesn’t seem bothered about dirty nappies either…. :/

yes baby does smile and passed Hv checks. But I know the baby can also regress.

i did have PPA which seemed to have got better…. And autism played a part. His cousin on dads aide is autistic. My brothers kid is autistic - wife’s family and she has autism. I don’t talk to the father so I don’t know about the history of autism.

sigh :( I didn’t need my PPA coming back

OP posts:
Mumoftwo1312 · 01/04/2024 00:56

Does your baby make eye contact and/or smile? I think those are considered more reliable indicators.

Even if he doesn't yet, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

My ds barely ever cries. Just an occasional murmur to let you know he's hungry or uncomfortable. Another mum told me "boys are just too lazy to cry" which is obviously nonsense but did make me chuckle. He makes eye contact, smiles, laughs and has even started to babble (3.5mo) so I'm not at all worried.