Baby rarely cries and I was told he’s autistic

No idea on why you are so hung up on this. Your baby is what they are, be that NT or ND. What does it matter either way, particularly at this point. I have two that rarely ever cried. One is ND and one is NT. However, they both have anxiety and the others don’t. But I don’t think rarely crying was any indicator of this, just coincidental. Stop trying to put them in some box at this age and overthink it all, just enjoy them.

The key point in your post for me is that you made a stupid sweeping statement.

Maybe you and your cohort were know it alls, maybe OPs aunt is, but don’t judge others by your standards.

I think the HV was trying to explain that you are being responsive to your baby and that your baby is content and securely attached as a result. You are doing great, it's hard when they're very small as you don't get much back. Soon your baby will be starting to roll, to crawl, to sit up, won't be long till he's starting to pull up and try to walk and then before you know it he'll be talking.

Yep I do. I was one myself many moons ago. The key point being that application and ethics should be taught before content. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing and this post appears to be a clear illustration of that.

You do realise that there are thousands of Psychology undergrads don’t you? To lump them together in a sweeping statement is ridiculous.

Then be specific and explicit and ask her not to comment on your baby. Say something like "I love you are learning lots of new things, but please don't pass comment on my baby".

Some babies are more chilled out than others, might just be personality. I can definitely see after having 3 kids that they are themselves from early on. My anxious girl spent a lot of time crying and on me as a baby. My youngest is a lot more chilled out and was a lot quieter as a baby. All 3 are Autistic and all 3 were very different babies and are very different kids. It doesn't mean anything at this age. Having had a baby that barely slept and cried a ridiculous amount of the time Id say enjoy the quiet. LO will be a toddler and getting loud and into everything soon enough and you'll miss the quite when they dont stop talking all day. My quite baby became a 3 year old who NEVER shut up.

No minimum - or maximum. But, you don’t have constantly interact every moment he’s awake. Put him under an arch and hang sparkly stuff with string, sit outside and listen to the birds. Sit out the front and look at the cars.

Chat away about anything. He hears your voice, he knows you’re close and it helps his brain development. No-one thinks twice about it if you’ve got a young child, so there’s no basket case about it. Young children’s rhymes and books have a sing song cadence, which is good for language development. Are there any mum’s groups close? Or a library that does infants/toddler’s rhyme time?

Oh and for OP my child as a baby was neither one way or the other. He wasn’t a massive cryer but he could definitely cry when things weren’t quite going his way, as is typical. He still very much has the same lovely calm temperament now (unless somethings distressed him). Most friends I have with autistic children had intense cryers whereas mine wasn’t too much of an issue in that area. At four months, looking back, there were indicators - crying was not one of them. I was fairly sure by eight months old though as there was never any joint attention.

@Janedoe82 seriously?! I have an autistic child and I hugged him, sang to him, read to him, did all you’re supposed to. He just has a different neurotype and nothing was ever going to change that.

You sound like you're doing plenty of interaction, op. Things will get easier and more delightful when he starts playing more (around 6-9mo things get more fun iirc). Just hang in there, everything sounds fine!

And maybe just hang out with the auntie a bit less until you're feeling more settled and less anxious.

@Bigbenbube Ask away. I knew something was up fairly early because I was an experienced parent. I don't think the crying was a particular indicator of autism but I do think it was a sensory issue. My circumstances at the time with a shouty, partially deaf husband didn't help. There were other issues that were more obvious to me than the crying. My firstborn didn't cry very much, she was a very quiet baby largely. I think it was unhelpful for you to be told it's an indicator. Nobody could possibly know that at this stage. Could you have PND?

Where's the fear of rejecting your baby coming from? What do you mean by rejecting? What support have you had so far with the PPA (assuming that's post partum anxiety?) - can you contact anyone to discuss how you're feeling?

It's absolutely fine to leave him to kick about and entertain himself whilst you do household tasks. When he can sit up with some support, you can put him in a highchair in whatever room you're in and interact with him whilst you're doing whatever you're doing. It doesn't need to be a big song and dance number, just chit chatting and narrating to him.

He is 4 months old, feed him, love him, change him, talk to him, ensure he gets sleep. Hold him close so his body can regulate against your body. He will learn about the world as being safe and calm by you making it safe and calm. He just needs love right now. Don't get into your head and trust your instincts. Read 'why love matters' by Sue Gerdhart and simply love him.

theres a saying - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, which is applicable here. He’s 4 months old. Too young to know. He’s probably just a chilled personality. You say you’re finding it a bit hard - as a general approach - Chat to him as you’re doing things , chat away when he’s in the pram facing you or you’re changing him, read books to him (never too young), sing silly kids songs. Ms Rachel is on you tube and is quite popular now to find some songs. Try to enjoy him. Get his baby checks done, so that a real professional can give you advice and just let/help him develop.