Husband on phone the whole fucking time he’s with the children

I'm so glad my children have grown up so I can doomsday scroll in bed instead of meditate and do my 5 minute journal and sip my greens in peace.

You think tens of generations ago people had time to get up at 5am and entertain their kids with a tuff tray 100+ years ago the toddler and baby would have been plonked in a play pen for hours, probably on their own for long periods, while everyone else in the home worked. The 3 year old would have been off to work himself in a couple of years.

Even today. I'm sure all those children working their tiny fingers to the bone making cheap fashion item after another in factories around the world would fucking LOVE the chance to be traumatised by a parent sitting on the sofa beside them watching YouTube.

lol, no there are not. 😆

Why bring another baby into this relationship. I just don't get it. Personally, I see nothing wrong with what he is doing. But you find it unacceptable. Don't know what to suggest here. If Iwas him I would tell you to get up yourself if you don't approve of what he is doing.

@Hownowbrownsheep they're comparable because screentime is screentime. OP has stated numerous times how sreentime is bad for children.
And yes, I'm actually scrolling on here right now as DS8 is on YouTube, granted later than usual but bank holiday has thrown us. My DP has no idea what's going on down here as he's having a lie in. Trusting me that whatever is happening downstairs is actually fine. Which it is.
And, in reference to your 'pop' remark..you are implying that I used that term to negate the consequences of screentime. Can you explain where in my post there is an implication of an issue?

@Janiie
The op has made a rod for everyone's back playing and interacting at 5am. Good on the dh for ignoring them and hopefully discouraging 5am starts.

Please enlighten me - why do you and so many on this thread think that the opposite of playing and interacting is doom scrolling? Why do you need to use a smartphone to make mornings quiet and unappealing?

Sitting quietly with your kids but not playing is benefical to them. Add your smartphone use to the same scenario and it is harmful.

Also, you give 1 year olds far too much credit. As though 5am wake ups are some calculated and rational plot.

Yes they must be interacting with their dc at all times. No social media allowed .

The poor husband . I hope he has learnt to delete his history or maybe even lock his phone. If that's allowed of course, I very much doubt it. Wonder what time he's allowed to go to bed?

Me too!

Rubbish . It’s a well known fact that today’s parents to young children do the most helicoptering ever.

Perhaps the OP should start a campaign to order men to check the phones of SAHM to ensure their children get quality care at all times.

😂
Well that's better than what we grew up with.

Can you imagine the outrage on MN if a man checked the phone of his SAH wife and mother to see if she was spending the day productively and engaging with the children fully.
OP report your husband to Social Services because he is getting up at 5 am to look after your children while you stay in bed. Then he is expected to go to work to provide financially for you and the children.
You are massively controlling. I feel sorry for your husband

you're comparing your child screen use to OPs case which is parental screen use? How are these comparable?

Also, do you conduct your morning rituals in secret from your DP despite DP having stated they they are unhappy with you treating your child this way?

If not, your example is completely irrelevant.

Side note, it's funny how MNers always 'pop' the TV on to make screentime sound all wholesome and innocent.

They would have been ignored or plonked in front of the telly.

The op has made a rod for everyone's back playing and interacting at 5am. Good on the dh for ignoring them and hopefully discouraging 5am starts.

Sorry but a 1 and 3 year old NEED better care than an adult stuck to a phone screen for two hours!!!

A 1 and 3 year old NEED better care than an adult stuck to a phone screen for two hours!!!

@Ilovelurchers your children won't be harmed by their dad being on his phone.

Please do share the evidence you are basing this on?? Because there are several thousand studies showing the opposite.

OP..a little context for you. My DS is 8. He gets up every morning, earlier than the rest of the house. He comes to my room, wakes me and proceeds downstairs. I follow shortly after. He pops on YouTube whilst I make coffee, let the dog out, put on washing, and then sit with my coffee for half an hour. Every day, same routine. He has more than the daily recommended screen time each morning. He is generally watching Lego building videos. His brain is rotten, he has zero manners and is behaviourally off the scale. I jest...he's actually the most intellectual child, he's way above average in terms of reading, he is a font of knowledge, often telling me things I don't know. He is active, we climb mountains, kayak, spend lots and lots of time outside with the dog. He reads himself to sleep each night. He is polite and humorous. And yet, by your standards, he's a bad kid and I a bad parent. Perhaps rethink your very rigid parenting approach, understand the world we live in now a little more otherwise as your children get older you will have issues and they won't relate to your DH's doomscrolling.

I agree with this.

while my mum or dad read, slept, listened to the radio or did chores

All of the above (except sleeping) are beneficial for children to watch their parents do. Promoting independent play is really important. Watching them use smartphones is what is damaging. It is not a binary between 'attentive' and 'on phone', there is an option to not be on a phone or pouring constant attention on your child

I think your behaviour he is incredibly controlling. He is as much their parent as you are - he has the right to decide to look after them as he sees fit, providing he is not abusing them (and he isn't).

The fact that you looked at his internet usage is controlling and abusive in my opinion and I hope he thinks carefully about whether he still wants to be in this marriage.

Your children won't be harmed by their dad being on his phone. They have the potential to be harmed by your certainty that you know better than the adult you chose to have children with and have the right to control his actions.

Same. At my grandparents, where I'd stay most school holidays, I wasn't allowed to disturb them till 9am! Good job I liked reading.

I don't have any memories of my parents playing with me. My mum was constantly doing housework, cooking or doing some kind of adulting while I got on with stuff in the background. If I told my mum I was bored, I would be promptly handed a pair of Marigolds and directed to the bathroom with a bottle of Flash. I soon learned not to be bored, and the same rule applies in my house now!

What time do they go to bed at night?

If I had to be up at 5am every day I would be a absolute zombie unless I could sleep from 9.30pm.

😂
If you were one of the lucky one back in my day. I was born in 82 and learnt from a young age how to entertain myself. Family nights at the fire station was left to our own devices with a can of coke and a packet of chips while everyone played pool, drank beer and smoked.