Husband on phone the whole fucking time he’s with the children

'This is an example of a fallacy called the fallacy of relative privation. The fallacy of relative privation rejects an argument by stating the existence of a more important problem. The existence of such a worse issue, the fallacy insists, thereby makes the initial argument irrelevant. This fallacy is also known as the appeal to worse problems or “not as bad as”.'

No. I was just responding to a bollocks post about what people did in the past which led me onto another thought.

He shouldn’t have agreed to your demand but you’re the one continuing to get knocked up by this “feckless”parent.

I kinda agree with this sentiment although I wouldn’t have phrased it like that. This is your third child - what was he like before? Surely this can’t be completely new behaviour?

I had early risers but I too am an early riser so it didn’t really bother me - I used to do my ironing while DC played with their toys/watched cartoons. So I’d have rather used the time productively although tbf, no mobile phones in those days. If there were, I may have been tempted onto mumsnet!

So you suggest your dh should just sit there with a coffee, in his hands, watching them play, for two hours?! Absolutely no way would I do that five days a week.

Why on earth would that happen ? Surely this great dad that you are defending would have his kids 50% of the time !

is this for real? He must be exhausted.

there is a scale - I think iPads and screens cause a colossal amount of damage. It’s all part of a cycle/problem.

Also quoted from OP...
Begs the question why OP's DC have any acsess to Ipads, shared or otherwise.

At the age of 1, they were still in their cot and couldn't climb out. If they woke early, we'd go and settle them in their dark bedroom and tell them it was sleepy time. Quiet voices. No interaction.

Rinse and repeat until 7am.

When the sides of the cot came off we used a light on a timer switch. Light off, stay in your room, light on, wake up time. They'd mostly sleep until 6.30/7am, as THEY HAD BEEN TRAINED. If they did wake up before 7am, they'd play with toys in the dark of their rooms until the light came on. They'd either come find us or look at books until we'd get them.

The 1yr old sleep training is the part you and your hubby are missing. Screens or no screens. It's called parenting.

Can’t get worked up about this at all. How he parents your joint kids while you aren’t around is his business. You wouldn’t be deferring to his way while he’s not around would you.

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Enjoy your 5am wake ups OP! @Hormonalorjustified

I grew up next door to a crunchy family - organic, vegetarian. No tv. You know the sort. Guess who planted themselves in front of the tv every chance the got. Waiting for that no signal to switch to cartoons at 6am.

By the way I was born on the 80s a d remember clearly waking early on a Saturday morning sitting on sofa eating cereal for hours watching Saturday morning telly -remember when that was a thing - patents would get up be cleaning etc then we get dressed and go off somewhere normally nanny's and sainsbury. we all grew up fine.

Also, @MeinKraft, Kids are better off alone in a playpen than suffering the disorded attachment caused by psychological withdrawal and non-responsiveness of parental phone use.

God, don't tell the op that.

I was told I was often left in the pram in the garden unaccompanied! Thankfully I came through it unscathed. Mind if my df had been on his phone I'd have been scarred for life apparently.

Ok I’m 100% with you on this. I’m not against screen time at all but there is a difference in watching a programme/film and this mindless YouTube short videos, which tbh even on kids YouTube are absolute rubbish and addictive. Their dad enjoys mindless scrolling of any sort of video and they say kids learn from their parents. I’m a book lover and our toddler also loves bringing me books to read to him.

There's no way I'm being a cheerful parent at 5AM, no fucking way.

Babysat my sisters kids for two nights there recently- to all you parents of early rise children you deserve to become saints. its horrendous. and yes I did lie on sofa from 5am dozing whole pepa pig was on and they coloured and played with lego. I also read all of the papers (and even worse answered 2 emails) during that time. shock horror. but my sisters kids had the best time layer on (normal time ) went to beach played in sand got ice cream cycled bikes up and down the street all that time I was engaged with them.
friends of ours here yesterday 4 kids under rhe age of 3 (simular to how you will be soon op) said to my husband after I feel for them the poor parents not a moment to themselves kids different age want different things like a conveyor belt. but they both seemed on the same page. I am sorry your coming off as a head honcho it's my way or high way. let it go. believe me you are going to have worse things to worry about if keep going way yoir going.

This is an example of a fallacy called the fallacy of relative privation. The fallacy of relative privation rejects an argument by stating the existence of a more important problem. The existence of such a worse issue, the fallacy insists, thereby makes the initial argument irrelevant. This fallacy is also known as the appeal to worse problems or “not as bad as”.

There is no I'd be doing anything before 6.30/7am to be honest. I'd be sat on my couch with a a coffee doomscrolling as well

Parents used to shove their children out of the door as soon as they could and expect other children to entertain them, whilst they got on with their chores

It is wholesome and innocent.

screen time extremists are very bad parents.

'Why do you need to use a smartphone to make mornings quiet and unappealing?-

5am - 7am is not 'mornings', everyone should still be in bed. If however you have poor sleepers with poor routines you do whatever you need to get through it. TV, Internet, books, whatever.

Ignore the kids or better still don't let them out of their rooms at all until 6am at the earliest. Bring them into bed if needs be. To get up and interact is crazy.