Husband on phone the whole fucking time he’s with the children

It’s hard to picture the OP bouncing out of bed at 7am and taking over cheerily until bedtime.

This basically sums up the thread.

Despite masses of evidence of the harm of parental smartphone usage, recognising this fact is an inconvenient threat to precious scrolling time. So PPs would rather ignore the actual problem of deceit and lack of shared parenting values and pile on the OP, lest they admit that they are pschologically damaging their children.

Children cannot tell the time. Making mornings sedate and un-exciting does not necessitate parental phone use. She is not asking him to behave like Mary Poppins, she is asking him to stop harming their baby and toddler and has even offered to take over the graveyard shift if he is incapable of doing this.

You said: “I can't get past the fact at the ages of 1 and 3 they also have ipads.
But then I suppose that's what it is this day and age.”

There was zero evidence that these children have their own iPads on which to base your pearl clutching.

Who is advocating do as I say not as I do? I wouldn’t have bought an iPad for my child, and at that age she’d probably have broken it. But we are not anti-screen time and she has used tablets plenty of times and watches TV. There’s no hypocrisy in any of that.

@Westernesse

Do you actually believe he only looks after his children two hours a day here?

I have no reason to disbelieve OP

Please abide by the rules of this forum. No singling out or blaming.

thank you.

Do you actually believe he only looks after his children two hours a day here?

He's a man who likes to complain about toxic femininity and call women deranged on a regular basis (oh us and our hysterical hormonalness)

I agree with the ignore and report, it was morning and my brain hadn't registered the username 🤦‍♀️

@ageratum1

Bec ause he is busy keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table perhaps?

Oh, I understand the purpose of a job. Thanks for the explain though.

When your children are teenagers, my ultra early-risers now are, you’re going to look back and realise that their father being on his phone between 5am and 7am when they were little babies has had zero effect on their lives. Honestly, whatever gets you through those small hours of the day is fine. Genuinely, said with kindness.

Bec ause he is busy keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table perhaps?

@Purplecatshopaholic swap his smartphone use for smoking around the kids. Does your argument still stand?

34 long and detailed posts OP

rather partial to your phone yourself

Totally irrelevant to the thread and it’s probably my very sleep deprived brain but trying to read your post reminds me of when people type one word and then let their phone predictive text type the rest. 🫠🫠

I initially thought YWBU but you have added in that he only has them for these 2 hours a day so I change my mind. I was thinking it's actually ok as there is so much more time to be involved with them and 5am is hell but if that's the only time he sees his children it puts a different spin on things. There is something seriously off balance here, what is he doing the rest of the time? Even with a job that brings ling hours, he should be around them more than that?

no not when I was one but later on !!!
my parents were in bed aswell
if a parent is getting up at 5am every morning whole another stays in bed I am not going to criticise or judge.

Odd, talk about say as I do...
nowhere did I claim, as you're suggesting, that ipads were the root if all evil.
But crack on projecting....

YouTube just plays the next video automatically.

You obviously know what he’s like as a parent the rest of the time, so the assumptions your making probably have some other basis. And if you have evidence that he hasn’t been paying attention then YANBU.

However, early starts are not easy for everyone and maybe he’s struggling with it but thinks he’s doing his best. Maybe he just sees them entertaining themselves so he is doing the same. Or maybe he is actually trying to be boring so they don’t see value in rising so early?

Just ask him and surely you’ll get the answer. You said you are happy to get up, maybe suggest taking turns instead?

I wonder how many two hour periods of the day and for what aspects of parenting the OP is accountable to her husband?

I think I can guess.

When you were 1? Also, it's far better for a child or even baby to watch TV by themselves than to be in the presence of a parent staring at a screen for hours.

I remember in the good old days when my pervy doctor would smoke in the consultation room and my 3 siblings and I rode in the boot of my parent's car with a bottle of amyl nitrate and a sharp kitchen knife

I'd cut him some slack, pick your battles............

I don’t have one of those husbands that looks at his phone constantly, so that might well annoy me.

However, I’d be absolutely demented if I was up daily with 2 little kids at 5am, so whatever gets him through…

And, are you actually checking his internet use? That sounds really controlling.

No idea, we don’t own any and are not anti-screen time at all, it seems at odds with the rest of the OP’s approach. But there’s nothing you quoted that suggested they had their own iPads at 1 and 3 which is what you claimed was the root of all evil in the world today…

FFS

'The 1yr old sleep training is the part you and your hubby are missing. Screens or no screens. It's called parenting.'

Yes. It isn't easy op, takes effort and consistency but 5am starts are not the way forward here with or without YouTube.

Does your dh know you checked his internet use?