Another lunch ruined by other peoples’ children

Absolutely agree. I've seen some appalling behaviour from adults. At least children have the excuse of being... well ... children.

I remember a woman I used to work with years ago, she was like the Gestapo with her discipline. She claimed, when out at restaurants, to only have to give her two little girls the look and they would be stunned into silence. No one she worked with would answer her back, she was harsh. Nowadays, she would be under the radar of the ss ( social services). I know it's the opposite extreme and let's hope this type of cattle-prod-parenting no longer exists anymore

The ableism on this thread is fucking depressing.

Yes you are unreasonable

I think you need to eat your breakfast at home if you have a problem with other people making noise in a cafe AND THAT INCLUDES YOUNG CHILDREN

So you are one of those parents that ruin a lunch for everyone else. Got it.

I actually think that many parents do it on purpose.
They are after an argument so they let their DC run riot.
If anyone even looks over its " what are you fuckin looking at blah blah"
Grim
Poor children

How do you expect me to manage my neurodiverse child (well, they're an adult now) but they had difficulties with shouting out related to their neurodiversity. They also had difficulties with sitting still. I was a single parent. I did my best but sometimes they were noisy. I would have eaten as fast as possible and left as soon as possible.

If I wanted a cup of tea in silence I'd stay indoors, or if I wanted to avoid children I'd go out for dinner late evening. Cafés I'd expect to be noisy at lunchtime. Especially in the Easter holidays.

Be prepared for the parents of those kind of children to arrive shortly and declare a) you are miserable b) you should be the one to stay at home and c) "it's what children do"

It's not what children do. It's what some children are allowed to do, when their parents have zero respect for the environment they are in, or anyone else within it.

There's a reason DTwins didn't go to restaurants until they were 3. They were loud. Not rude, not shouty, but would sing. A lot. Which is endearing for me and nanny. Not for the people who have paid £50 a head to have a nice meal and sit next to us. It's not my entitlement to be there if it's at the detriment of other paying customers.

I went out for lunch today and at the table next to us there was a lad of about 8 or 9 sat quietly reading a book and another a little younger who was drawing whilst their mum chatted with other adults. They joined in the conversation a few times when they asked them a few things but otherwise just read / drew until their meal came. It struck me how surprised I was because the norm nowadays is very much let your kids be as loud and annoying as humanly possible. These kids were polite, cheerful and clearly content to do their quiet activities at the table. It was all very pleasant and everyone was able to enjoy their meal and conversation.

Ofcourse it matters, until you have a child you don’t realise how hard it is. I agree children shouldn’t be running riot, but come on, sit there quietly?! What planet is the OP on?

ND aside, it's really not that hard. I say this as the parent of a 16 year old who was more than capable of sitting at a table in a cafe without causing nuisance or disturbance to other people.

yes it is.

None of the pubs where I live are adult only, the two hotels both allow children in the dining room for Sunday lunch, and I think the only restaurant (punitively expensive!) does too.

Some of the pubs have more than one bar, one has a separate restaurant area, and it would be nice if just one of them restricted children to one area only, so that diners who wanted a peaceful meal could eat in the child-free area.

It is a process with kids and the gains can be incremental (DD had the biggest regression in behaviour outside just after 4, up to this point she had been really easy to take out for lunch). Because I have my own I’m pretty tolerant of other peoples kids because they are still learning. I’d only be annoyed if parents made literally 0 effort to guide their kids to the appropriate behaviour.

I find it pretty funny to watch parents chase down madcap toddlers these days (my toddler days are over so now it’s cute to me) not so funny when the parent doesn’t care that their kid has just wandered off and is bothering other people.

Jesus Christ.

Agree OP. We were in Costco yesterday where 2 children were playing "it" among the aisles. Literally tearing around, skidding round corners, screaming, no regard for anyone. A member of staff managed to stop them and tell them not to run. Why should staff have to parent people's children.
Recent meal in local steak restaurant and a few families requested one table for the adults and another for the children but the tables weren't next to each other. The kids were incredibly loud, and watching videos disturbing diners while their parents had a peaceful meal!

Adult-only cafes? I've never seen such a place.

And what if the children were neurodiverse Op?

Proving my point perfectly. You don't give a toss about other people so long as your kid is having fun.
No one wants silence but why is being loud necessary to enjoyment?

You sound miserable. I don’t agree with kids running around but at that age they do sometimes make silly noises and cry.

If you want to live in society and benefit from the welfare state these kids will be contributing to when you’re really old, you should be a bit more tolerant.

It’s not easy to keep children quiet and still but I do it because otherwise it will ruin MY lunch let alone anyone elses. We find coming armed with various colouring and sticker books helpful and we do have to include her in the conversation. DD is pretty loud as in she yell talks (working on it) but if she started walking around Dh and I would tackle that immediately.

It’s just teaching her how to behave reasonably so she doesn’t turn into an utterly ignorant adult.

If you can tell me the secret to keep my kids quiet please do share it! They are so loud and excitable I tell them to lower the volume at least 50x a day! At least you only have to suffer them through a meal - I have to live with it 24/7 😂. I'm sure people will say 'in ye olden days we raised them to be quiet and polite' but in ye olden days kids lived in fear of a good thrashing, which is rather disapproved of nowadays.

And those people on the thread saying they manage it with no issues, I bet you have girls!

OP maybe you need to eat slightly nicer / more exotic places? Pre kids I was rarely bothered by other people's children but then I prefer food that's spicy / not particularly kid friendly, so I didn't tend to overlap with families.

Yes because all families should stay locked inside at home, until their kids turn 18 and they can finally venture Outside, gazing in wonderment at all that Outside has to offer now that they are old enough to not get on your nerves.

YABU

Children should only leave the table for:

1. Visiting the toilet
2. Taking them to the buffet, drinks machine or ice cream machine (adults taking them). A Pizza Hut closed off the ice cream machine after a DC used the ice cream machine and dispensed the IC from the machine to his mouth and his mouth was touching the nozzle. Gross. My friend saw this and the child was about 4.

That's an original motto, thanks for sharing.