Another lunch ruined by other peoples’ children

And part of being part of the general public is learning to behave so it's down to the parents to teach them.

Take the cutlery off the kid when she's banging it on the table (not 'we don't do that do we?' in a mamby pamby voice). Don't let the kid run around and go up to other people and then glare at them when they tell the kid to go back to his own table.

I was in a farm shop yesterday (no, not that one!) and a toddler bawled his lungs out for a good 20 minutes or more. I intended to browse for longer but I couldn't stand it any more so left.

Now if that had been one of mine, they would have been promptly removed until they had calmed down. The mother was last seen offering a lollipop...!

Glad it's been deleted so promptly.

That poster just demonstrated all that's wrong with society now. Selfish, entitled people who simply don't have any consideration whatsoever towards others!

I think it's tricky. Those children could've sat quietly and nice as pie previously and they are just over hyped etc as a one off.
But I know it is irritating hearing other people's children.

I was walking around Edinburgh yesterday and so many babies in strollers crying their hearts out whilst the parent tried on clothes. One one hand I got angry listening to the crying, but the other I felt very sorry for the kid having to put up with total and utter boredom and waiting around in a hot shop. WHY take a baby/toddler clothes shopping. Omg

Why should anyone have to stay in because you are incapable of controlling your kids?!!!

Step up! You will be doing them a favour!!

This must be the nastiest post I've ever seen on here.
I don't know why you say it's a pointless post. Lots of people agree with op.

Children are part of general public. If you don't it, stay in.

@picolosmum what a nasty disgusting post. No wonder society is the way it is today, with uncontrollable, feral children, creating havoc in schools!!

I wrote a similar post above.

How sad is it that we particularly notice well-behaved children as it's almost exceptional now?!

Ah yes, the predictable rally cry of lazy parents everywhere. 🙄

I like kids, it's nice to hear them being happy and playing.

There's a big difference between playing, where the noise might be talking excitedly or giggling and the type of behaviour many parents allow these days. Standing on chairs, sitting on tables, squealing, running around (dangerous in a restaurant), drumming on the table with cutlery, the list could go on.

Funnily enough for those accusing ableism, it's rarely the ND children doing this, and their parents at least try to manage their children's meltdowns the best they can. It's usually the kids who are so addicted to screens that they scream the place down until they get a phone/iPad playing cartoons at full volume shoved in front of them.

@NicholJO you are exactly 'that' type of parent aren't you?! Calling a poster what you just did shows totally your mentality. Your post is bordering on illiterate.

BTW just for one thing, "boring" only has one 'o'. 'Boorish' however does have two, and is a good description of your post.

How to you equate someone being "boring" with not wanting to have to share a space with ill-mannered, badly behaved children?!

Go away and take responsibility for your kids!

Don’t know what sex has to do with it, I’ve carried Dd out of many places while she’s imitated a demented cat as a toddler. She’s not passive or placid (had the “she’s like a boy” and “my isn’t she active” comments a few too many times 🙄). It’s consistent effort, not always successful but consistent that gets her to behave and we hustle out of there if it looks like her behaviour is going to deteriorate. We’ve definitely had some not great meals out but we are absolutely not wringing our hands wailing “but what can we doooooo!?”

ND I totally get but “he’s a boy” is just opting out of even trying isn’t it.

@Unwantedadvice lots of people who have kids are agreeing with the op so I don't really see your point in 'betting she is child free'.

I'm not perfect but would never let my kids misbehave in a restaurant. They are taught manners and to be respectful if they don't listen they get a warning. If it gets to over 3 warnings we pack up and go straight home. I've only ever had to do the whole go home thing once!

I think you're right that it's luck of the draw if you have a naturally placid child, or one that takes a lot more effort to placate. I have three, one ND. It's when the parent does nothing that's the issue.

I don't think anyone is outraged at a child exhibiting disruptive behaviour as long as they see the parent take measures to tackle it, as they rightly should. My ND eldest was a dream in eateries, but impossible on buses and trains. We persevered, as you say, you have to try, for a while then simply acknowledged public transport wasn't going to be a thing. It wasn't for years. He's fine now as a teenager, but still prefers the car if he has a choice. We essentially made the same choice as you, didn't do something because it wasn't fun for anyone there.

On planet cafe, where the rules and expectations are that you sit down and eat or drink, not in silence but with behaviour appropriate to that situation

Outside, in the park, or the swings or wherever different rules apply.

Thats what you're teaching and modelling of course. Arent you?

Why can't she freely choose where she wants to go, in case there are feral children?

And before you ask, I have three children.

Well I hope you have strategies to stop her. Was on a flight recently and a baby up at the front of the plane literally screamed non-stop! It was torture.

Can I enlighten you as to why some people are intolerant? It's this - we've reared our families and managed to do it without inflicting torture on others!

When I got on the flight, I was surrounded by small children. Total nightmare usually. I braced myself. The little girl in the seat behind me kicked the back of my seat. That happens me all the time and I have a bad back. Oh my god, miracle of all miracles, her mother told her not to, and she didn't do it again!! There was a gran and grandad beside me, and a whole row of their grandchildren plus the kids' parents in the row in front. They entertained themselves quietly for the entire flight. I complimented their grandparents on how well they had behaved.

It was reassuring to see that some parents actually do teach their children how to behave in public!

I agree op. I have a boy and good behaviour when out was non-negotiable when he was that age.
Maybe adult only cafes should be a thing. They'd make a killing. So would dog free cafes come to think about it.

Totally agree. I remember feeling like this in coffee shops and restaurants in my child-free days and swore when I had kids I would never allow them to disturb others like this - and they never did (now teenagers).

Also, you didn't mention it but I'm almost positive you don't have any children of your own? (Apologies if I'm wrong). If you're child free you would probably have a much better time if you had lunch at a pub instead of a cafe? You would have so many more great opportunities to judge people's parenting there 🤣

I agree.
Try teaching them.

People always say Oh the shitty parents will be along soon to tell you you're unreasonable.

By far the more annoying posts are the perfect parent posts who's little angels never make a peep in a cafe because they sit at the table at home and don't have screens. As thought parents of those kids making tractor noises or messing with dominoes must be the absolute worst of the worst parents 😑

I think that's the difference though @exerciseshmexercise, it's not always the child's behaviour but the parent's reaction to it.

If I was sat beside you and your child was shouting/having a meltdown and I could see you were trying to handle the situation you'd have my utmost sympathy. I'd probably even ask if there was anything I could do to help.

If you were sat there ignoring them just letting them crack on then I'd be royally miffed with you.

But I strongly suspect that you and your DC are not the type the OP and others are referring to......