Another lunch ruined by other peoples’ children

See I actually think its really weird to make kids stuff themselves in order to 'earn' dessert.

Bugbear! I’ve had one have dessert and the other not for this very reason. Partner you’re so harsh? Why am I? I made it clear if you’re full you’re full and that’s fine but that means nothing else. Why am I harsh for following through but kids not out of order for playing the I’m full card and expecting dessert. I mean instantly after not in 3 hours time. My other thing is is if dinner is left and they’re full and they really haven’t made an effort to eat, if they plead starvation 4 hours later I offer fruit. Suddenly not hungry. Kids hey they know how to play and who to play.

Why is a common assumption that people who don't like noisy,badly behaved children don't have children themselves? I am a parent but I get driven mad by the screaming,whining ill-behaved kids that seem to be in every cafe, restaurant and coffee shop that I visit, and on every bus or train that I travel on!

Another form of bad parenting. “You can have a pudding if you eat your meal” DC leaves some of the food and still gets a pudding.

That is teaching the child FA

You'll never win. No. You are not supposed to be able to enjoy a cafe because you are supposed to find all level of noise acceptable because they are only kids. Shouting, screaming, loud repetitive noises- all good. At no point should a younger child be distracted to quiet down- don't you have kids, you shouldn't go out because you're the problem, etc. welcome to a good old flaming.....

Absolutely I agree and if you read my previous post the problem isn’t parents at their wits end trying and teaching the right way to behave. It’s the parents who allow their children to disturb others. They’re the problem and as a result they’re children are a nuisance

Exactly! And when we are out with friends' babies, if they start crying one of us will either settle them or take them outside until they settle. I can't stand parents that just ignore their crying or misbehaving children in public.

Yes 100% wouldn’t allow my 3 year old to be disruptive but also feel a better balance should exist where families can take their children out without fear of judgement and without having to turn to screens to keep them sitting and quiet!

@TTCX2 we aren't talking about fidgeting though. No one expects kids to act like robots or be perfect but we are talking about kids running riot and being really noisy. Age 3 and up a neurotypical child can be taught how to behave and rewarded / disciplined. It's just common courtesy to think of the diners around you surely.

@2024theplot exactly! I can tolerate a crying baby or whatever but a child who is old enough to learn should be taught how to behave.

Totally agree. To those arguing it’s ableist to object to a child continuously screaming, what about those ND people for whom that would be extremely distressing to listen to? It works both ways. Small spaces such as cafes are not ideal for kids who struggle to stay quiet, whether ND or NT.

Children aren’t just ‘mini adults’ they are developmentally different from adults and aren’t capable of the expectations adults place on them. You can be the best parent in the world and children will still fidget, raise their voice and misbehave from time to time.

Absolutely but they don't have the right to act feral in public spaces. They shouldn't be such a nuisance that they're disturbing other people.

@picolosmum you have some nerve posting that again after your awful comment that got deleted.

For sure but they don’t have every right to cause a nuisance and their parents don’t have every right to let it happen.

Children are people too and have every right to exist in the same places as you.

ND adults also exist and aren’t always able to deal with noise very well but no one ever seems to give a shit about that. I don’t go out often because of it, because if I dare to wince or cringe at loud, shrill, constant noise made by a child I’m ‘miserable’, ‘old’, ‘boring’, ‘horrible’ etc. Sometimes I will just get up and leave if it gets too bad. I don’t dislike kids in general but I struggle to cope with the pitch of their voices. Equally, loud, noisy adults are not great to be around either. I really wish there were more places with proper ‘quiet’ zones/rooms that didn’t allow noisy, hyperactive, over the top people/kids in so people like me had places to go that didn’t require always mentally preparing for it and 9 times out of 10 having to leave earlier than planned.

I completely agree. When we go out with any of our friends with children, the children sit peacefully with us/we all entertain the children quietly.
We always see other parents not bothering to parent their children, letting them whine and scream and run wild. It seems to just be pure laziness/parents being unwilling to look up from their phones/parents not caring that their children are ruining everyone else's lunch.

Had similar today ..one family had screaming running around kids(there was 4 I think aged baby to ten ish (baby was running around of course)...once they left the noise level dropped to normal. All the other tables had children including ours and none were screaming or running around apart from this one table...all very strange. Dh took dd out once to look at the pub garden (which had a slide in ) as food took slightly long to come..we were told of this when we arrived as every table was full and I saw other families doing the same... Yanbu.

Shrieking kid noise goes through my head .so I pick my times and places to avoid.an Easter Sunday I wouldn't bother with obviously loads of families out and rightly so.

This is a real pet hate of mine. If you are just nipping in to get something, fine, you're only subjecting everyone else to screaming for a couple of minutes.

Don't be that dickhead who just ignores your screaming child for twenty minutes to the extent that other people are having to leave because you are a self absorbed arse who will browse at their leisure rather than parent their child.

This is always the parent that says "I've got as much right to be here as anyone else." You can't get through to that level of dickhead, you just can't.

Haha -kind of karma biting 😂😂

Honestly, "making tractor noises"? Is that really so bad?

If the kids had been sat silently on iPads there would be a post whinging about that instead. Parents can't win!

Cor I get it’s totally hard because I have a dog that I can’t shut up on a walk and she irritates the shit out of me so god knows what she does to others 🤦🏼‍♀️ but yea feral kids fuck me off. Not the ones where you see parents genuinely trying and on the brink of tears but the feral shits running about being twats whilst parents ignore them. That pisses me right off. Table manners are a bigger for me. When I met my partner his then 7 year old decided during a meal he would be bashing a ballon about going into other people’s dinners. Dad sat there. I said you gunna say something - na he’s just being a kid. No he’s being a nuisance. Said stop that please, did he listen, did he fuck!! Can I have that ballon please, passes it to me. I popped it. now irritate others! Sit down eat like the well behaved young man I expect you to be whilst out please or we won’t go out. Simple.