Another lunch ruined by other peoples’ children

@ArcticFreeze why do you allow it to happen? Id have erupted on the parent by now.

But how will said child learn to be in an allotment unless you allow them into the allotment?( or other such tropes).
it is ridiculous parenting. It is lazy and selfish. Not surprised you are furious.

We have a beautiful tranquil allotment site, or did until a new couple arrived and turned it into a playground. Now we have an out of control 5 year old trampling all over other people plants, trying to get in other people's cars, walking off with other people's property, all while the mother just stands there with a vacant look on her face like controlling her child is an alien concept to her. If she isn't allowed to do what she wants then we are subjected to hours and hours of screaming instead. One person has ruined the entire site for everyone else with her 'gentle parenting' (insert useless parenting here) and seems clueless about the impact it is having. People are working so hard only to return and find someone else's kid has trampled all over their plants and destroyed them, then you have the mother trampling all over stuff trying to retrieve the child. It's relentless. It isn't up to everyone else to supervise other people's children.

My OH is sometimes on reception in our local minors unit. It can get extraordinarily busy- standing room only.
He frequently tells me of kids who are allowed to run round, lie all over the floor, climb on chairs play with cars in the floor, shriek. Their parents make half arsed attempts to ‘control’ them. It’s only when the nurses come and tell them to stop that they do.
He has also heard the mother’s then blame the nurses for the fact that they can’t do what they want.
what a load of shit parenting.
I was told some kids off in a supermarket for racing around and crashing into people. One other customers told me that their poor parents were just trying their best and I should be more understanding . I pointed out it was not a playground and was dangerous, dangerous for shoppers. Shop workers and the children.

Yes- BUT if my child was ND ( which I do have) I would not take them to somewhere where they could disrupt others. It’s not fair . Me wanting to go to a restaurant does not trump other people’s right to enjoy their meal in peace.

Oh? Are they awfully behaved and you can't be bothered to parent them then?

Or are you suggesting that the thread says the mere presence of well parented children "ruins" other people's holidays?

My children don't. DTwins would have done two years ago. So we didn't take them. We do now.

It's not Victorian to want to be able to eat without a kid running around, making a racket and going up to other diners and bothering them which from personal experience and posts here seems to be what happens in the UK

Only for kids that are NT, though.

@thecatwiththesilveryfur she’s right though.

I don't think this post makes you look as good as you think it does.

We had this in a pub recently fairly late one Sunday evening. Shrieking children, we left as quick as we could.
I've had children and don't remember them behaving like that but it is the reason we've booked adults only for our hotel this year

A small perk for you. Not for anyone else.

I also can’t stand groups of shrieking women and groups of shouty men( all trying to prove they have the biggest balls by out shouting each other).

I have 2 kids who don't seem to understand normal volume levels. One is autistic but very eloquent and people would just think he was 'naughty' and we were bad parents. He's not naughty as in throwing things but has no filter and no volume control.

The result - we don't eat out! I find it annoying enough and there's no way I would subject other paying diners to it.

If we do find ourselves in a situation where we have to eat out we plan plan plan!! So we have a bag of quiet toys (mostly logic puzzles) and colouring. It's still hard work.

As a parent with a ND child I still think others should be able to quietly enjoy the meal they are paying for and I also get annoyed at the people who do not do anything to keep their children behaving appropriately.

Not the point??

I'm about to take my 2 and 5 year olds on a long haul tomorrow. Looking forward very much to ruining other people's holidays. 🙄
It's just a small perk to being able to see my family abroad for the first time in two years.

This post OP, is why my local coffee shop went “ No under 16’s allowed”

@FrangipaniBlue

*Parent of a boy who was never in fear of a thrashing.

The secret?

We entertained him and didn't expect him to entertain himself, which from my experience always seems to be the case of the ones who are being loud and obnoxious.*

"A boy" being the operative word here! Its much harder making two loud boys, who are determined to egg each other on, sit quietly. And yes we do entertain them - literally as soon as we sit down we get out Uno or Dobble or another game to play as a family. Sometimes they will colour but probably no longer than 10 mins. Even with all this entertainment they are still loud and annoying for a lot of the meal. Take your attention off them for one minute (because God forbide you read the menu or try and eat a bit of your own food!) and they are off their chairs / clanging cutlery / putting food in the water. Of course we tell them off, but that doesn't last more than 5 mins.

My now, 30+ yr old child is Autistic too.
When they were younger, they struggled in restaurants (or other public places) and so we went home when it got to the point that their reactions impacted on others.
It was too distressing for them and us to insist on staying and making the situation more difficult for all.

When we learnt what environments triggered meltdowns we avoided forcing our child to attend them (cafes/restaurants/shopping) and yes, this curtailed our social life as a result.

it seems that all of the above makes me ‘ableist’ judging by the comments on this thread.

Actually, exactly like that.

DTwins were not well behaved enough to sit for an hour+ at a nice restaurant meal until they were 4. This was discovered by taking them several times before that age, and them being a pain in the arse. Because 1.5yr olds can be. However, what that means in practice, is that I barely got to eat my food because I was having to hold a 1.5yr old boy twin who was squawky about being in the highchair there. Not that I sat, pig ignorant scrolling on my phone and casually eating my meal whilst my child screamed the place down, ruining the meals of complete strangers because "I'm just as entitled to be here, don't you know". You'd have to be a real disrespectful arse to think that's acceptable. "Fuck the rest of you as my kids spoil your meal you've paid to come and enjoy, I'm having my dinner. It's my right." No wonder the kids turn out the way they do with parents like that.

And when young DTwins played up, it was fine, because they were only an inconvenience to me. Sure that particular meal of mine was spoiled, which was a nuisance, but it was my 1.5yr olds that were the reason, and it told us that this wasn't something they were ready for yet. Because as their parent, responsible for them, I'm the only person they should be inconveniencing at a restaurant.

It's funny how Victorian the UK still is despite thinking it's some kind of progressive, forward-thinking nation. My children grow up in another country where kids are actively encouraged to participate in social interactions, not told to sit quietly and not interrupt the adults.

No one here has an 'inside voice', they just have their normal, jovial, sociable voices and most elderly people love to interact with little ones while out for their morning coffee.

Children learn how to behave in public because they are welcomed and included in every-day life, not seen as an inconvenience that has to be tolerated.

Good for you, sounds like you did a wonderful job. Like I say, all families and parents are different. Different circumstances, different outcomes. We all have bad days, we all make mistakes and we all get it wrong some times. If we all showed a little less judgment and more compassion we’d maybe see less ‘unruly’ children 😊.

Ah grow up. I had to learn to be a parent too once upon a time, and I never put up with bad behaviour - and trust me, my three kids were 'spirited'! I never allowed them to be annoying though. And that's the difference.

Of course they do - but it's up to you, the parent, the responsible adult, to manage it!

No, but they might be navigating being a parent out in the world for the first time and not everybody can be as wonderfully equipped in this life as you!!