How to appear rich?

@Readytoevolve Wealth is silent. Indeed it is.

OP I would not go but that's just me.

I can assure you that they did.

There was a very definite split between rural and town with rural very much seen as the poor alternative. The parents who were somewhat snooty all lived on the same gated community (very unusual around there) . The middle group were mostly medics- they tended to go with rural rather than town but tended to live in town. So 3 mains tribes at the school.

Buy some nice 2nd hand clothes off Vinted, wear it with a smile. They might tip up all wealthy, but they'll gave just as many issues as you do, mortgages going up (drastically) and just show you're very content in life amd happy.

Exactly this.

You have just reminded me

I remember all of the school mums in their flash new range rovers looking down a bit on the woman in the scruffy jeans in the beaten up land rover always a bit covered in mud. No make up ever.

When it was her sons birthday party it was in the cellars of their country mansion/estate that had been in her husbands family for 500 years. The children got to drive beaten up land rovers all over the grounds on a hay bale course (they were primary age). I had known both her and her husband since childhood but it was certainly the most discussed party!

It had open days- some condition of the grant they received to help renovate it I think.

I’m not sure there is a way to look rich. Some of the richest people I know live in stately homes, the sort which they open to the public. One of them cleans all her own loos and you wouldn’t give any of them a passing glance in Sainsbury’s.

Don’t worry about it and just be yourself.

I know a few billionaires -male - oldish money as in at least since 1870s.
You could walk past them in the street-jeans, desert boots, shirt, nice sweater- all very expensive but not flash in any way. One is more chinos. Cant say that I have ever looked at their watches.

DHs CEO is also multi-millionaire if not more. Jogging gear and sweatshirt all the time on TEAMS- made money in tech

STOP LOOKING AT MY HANDBAG, YOU SNOB!

You’ll sometimes catch them looking at your engagement ring or handbag, for instance.

It's quite a leap from "someone is looking at my engagement ring" to "someone is looking at my engagement ring because they are inordinately interested in my social status".

But I wouldn't begin to think that anyone I had just met who asked questions like this was trying to define my social status because I am not obsessed with social status.

Who knows who thinks about it most, out of us two. It’s impossible to say surely.

But I like to think I don’t give that impression to those I have just met because I don’t ask questions like this.

I think it says that you think a lot about social status. Certainly more than I do.

This is a next level keep up with the Jones!

Seriously, just don't. Be yourself for goodness sake. If you act confident, no one will look down on you. And if they do because they have money, I wouldn't want to be reunited with any of them!

You've got more than I have so you're rich to me!

You have no idea how these other people who seemingly have it all actually feel on the inside. You can travel the world, have the fanciest cars and still be unhappy and unfulfilled.

Your wealth is your happiness in life, objects and material things aren’t important. If you wake up feeling grateful to be alive, can smile at your children/spouse and appreciate that you live in a pretty safe country then to me you’re rich.

Of course but I have been asked it a lot in the last few years, from NCT and then baby classes mainly.

Jesus, this "searching for social status" stuff tells us a lot about the people bringing it up, I think.

Pray, do tell since it’s about me. It’s only fair. 😂

We probably meet different types of people!

Jesus, this "searching for social status" stuff tells us a lot about the people bringing it up, I think. I might often ask what someone's partner does if they are talking about them. It's such an obvious natural question, isn't it?

"Yes, the kids do a lot of swimming. They train every day."

"That must take a lot of organising."

"Well, my husband is more responsible for that - he's a lot more available to take them to training and galas, what with all my impressive global travel and seeing as I earn much more than him."

"Oh, what does he do?"

"How dare you probe his social status!"

True. Im on a decent wage but i dont give a hoot about shoes, watches bags. Practicality is more me. If it serves purpose. Personally, anything outwardly showing a brand is cheap.

You can't appear "like them" unless you intend to not speak to anyone or to lie about your life.

You can look well-dressed and groomed. No-one's going to ask how many bedrooms you have in your house or what car you drive.

You love your life! Isn't that enough?

People who ask this question to make an estimation of your worth as a potential friend or even someone to simply have a conversation with are usually pretty transparent as I said above. So it’s quite easy to work out what they’re getting at. You’ll sometimes catch them looking at your engagement ring or handbag, for instance.

If I sense someone enjoys talking about their partner, I tend to ask the story of how they met. Sure, work might come up then but most of the time it doesn’t, in my experience anyway. I might also ask “Does he/she share your interest in hiking?” or cooking or travelling - or whatever. Hobbies make for far more interesting conversations if you ask me.

Btw, I do actually have an interesting career which I enjoy very much and is a big part of who I am but I find those who talk too much about work - especially when we’ve only just met - quite dull at best, if I’m being honest, so I try to veer away from conversations about work.

They might, if for example you have mentioned your husband works away a lot, or you have said he was supposed to be here but something came up at work, or mentioned you are going to his work Christmas do tomorrow.

Where does he work/what does he do are normal responses to this type of thing.

There are hundreds of reasons it would come up in conversation quickly. Many people talk about their spouse a lot.

@nojudge

I'm hardly talking about barging up to someone, elbowing others out of the way and bellowing "and what does your husband do, little lady?" in their face. I'm talking about standing around and chatting with someone you've recently met, or sitting next to someone at a dinner party, and talking. I mean, nothing's really strictly relevant. Unless it's a work event, in which case, it's pretty clear what you're there to talk about, it's all just chitchat.

And why would their spouse's occupation be any more of an indicator of money or status than their own? I'm still a little baffled on how it's misogynistic or automatically carrying the assumption that the husband is the breadwinner? I mean, I've sat next to many a man at a dinner party (which is usually how it works) and asked if his wife is in the same profession. What do you make of that? That I'm running a wealth screening service?

You can just tell, trust me. Someone who is respectful and genuinely interested in someone won't drop in "what does your husband do" into the first half hour of a dinner party conversation.

Be yourself OP. Nothing screams 'I've got my shit together' more than someone comfortable in their own skin.

@Comedycook No! I think this too.