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AIBU?

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To have said “oh well”

145 replies

Eastre · 31/03/2024 13:19

Whenever I’m in the garden these past few weeks next doors child sticks his head over the fence asking what I’m doing.
Hanging the washing out
cleaning the pavers
playing with the dog … constant “what are you doing?” “Why are you doing that?” Etc etc
its driving me nuts.
this morning I went out to do some gardening, he sticks his head over and asks what I’m doing. I said “gardening” he said “why?” I said “because I want to”.

He persistently tried to talk to me over the fence and I just wanted to get on in peace. Anyway I put the lawnmower on and could hear him trying to shout over it to me but I ignored it. When I turned it off he said “I don’t like you using that, it’s noisy” so I said “oh well” and turned it back on and carried on cutting the grass.

when I’d finished his mum appeared over the fence asking if everything was ok. I said it was so she said her son had gone in upset saying I had told him off!! This is not true at all, I just didn’t want to stand there chatting all day! I told her he’d said he didn’t like the sound of the lawnmower but my grass needs cutting unfortunately! She said “no worries” with a bit of an eye roll and went back inside. Was I out of order?? I just want to enjoy my garden in peace!

OP posts:
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JPGR · 31/03/2024 21:34

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:21

I hate to be that guy, but it does sound as if this child is ND. The asking why you are doing things is textbook.

Either that or he's massively spoilt or entitled. Only you know.

It sounds hugely irritating and she should parent her child.

Most kids go through a phase of asking why. We don’t label them all ND for fgs.

Ohffsbarbara · 31/03/2024 20:36

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

i remember- it was something like “neighbour has bought trampoline to talk over the fence”🤣🤣🤣

MonsterMunched · 31/03/2024 20:31

Taller fence! You don’t need to answer all the questions regardless of if the child is NT or ND- the parents should be parenting them.

UncleHerbie · 31/03/2024 20:24

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

Loooooool! No you did NOT dream it. I lolled out loud at the memory of that thread 😂😂😂😂😂

KomodoOhno · 31/03/2024 20:19

PrimalLass · 31/03/2024 13:20

No. You were perfectly reasonable.

Absolutely! I think you were nicer then you think. I would have been annoyed too.

Georgyporky · 31/03/2024 19:47

You need a taller fence to keep the child away.

InSpainTheRain · 31/03/2024 19:21

YANBU at all. I'd have given him a sharp "I'm busy" and ignored him. If his Mum asked I'd tell her it's pretty annoying for him to keep asking questions. It's not your job to entertain her son. A few questions are fine, constant annoyance is not.

Sallysappho · 31/03/2024 19:05

Talk to him he'll soon run out of questions realise that the conversation is boring and leave you alone

Lilacanemone · 31/03/2024 19:02

Deardear17 · 31/03/2024 18:48

I really want to read this thread!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/ami_being_unreasonable/4653124-neighbour-bought-a-trampoline-to-look-over-our-fence?page=12&reply=120703511

I think this may be it @IWasAimingForTheSky @Devilsmommy

Deardear17 · 31/03/2024 18:48

Devilsmommy · 31/03/2024 13:37

🤣 no I remember this too. Can't remember the title of it though

I really want to read this thread!

Lilacanemone · 31/03/2024 18:44

Caluse · 31/03/2024 13:39

Why not just say "oh sorry sweetie I know it's noisy but I need to cut the grass. It won't take long"

And when he keeps asking you questions say "it's been nice to chat but I need to get on now, we can talk again another day"

You know, actually model some manners and social graces? You sound pretty rude OP, he's just a child trying to chat

I don’t think OP wants to talk again another day or after cutting the grass.

godmum56 · 31/03/2024 18:29

HollyKnight · 31/03/2024 17:42

Missing the point, but is it not one of those unspoken social rules that you're not supposed to do noisy activities on Sundays? My neighbours would have lynched me if I'd started mowing the grass on a quiet Sunday.

not round here.

Topseyt123 · 31/03/2024 18:26

I'd have been very tempted to tell her that I was just out to garden in peace, not to be yammered at by her child.

I know it's a common phase in young children, but it is down to the parent to ensure that their child is not annoying others, and to stop them if they look like doing so.

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 18:25

😂

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 18:24

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 18:23

@MsCactus no... it was just one poster that said possibly ND....then it snowballed

Majority of posters are aware enough to know most kids go through this phase

And that one poster is genuinely regretting even opening this bloody thread 😭😭😭😭

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 18:24

MsCactus · 31/03/2024 18:22

I've genuinely never met a child that didn't go through the "why, why, why" phase. It's part of how they learn... Strange to call it a ND symptom

I honestly refuse to address this again

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 18:23

@MsCactus no... it was just one poster that said possibly ND....then it snowballed

Majority of posters are aware enough to know most kids go through this phase

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 18:23

FrancisSeaton · 31/03/2024 18:20

So funny but the irony of your username is not lost on me

It's a hamilton lyrics but that is class 🤣🤣🤣🤣

MsCactus · 31/03/2024 18:22

EmilyTjP · 31/03/2024 13:33

It’s common in all young children!

I've genuinely never met a child that didn't go through the "why, why, why" phase. It's part of how they learn... Strange to call it a ND symptom

FrancisSeaton · 31/03/2024 18:20

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

So funny but the irony of your username is not lost on me

GanninHyem · 31/03/2024 18:19

SlashBeef · 31/03/2024 18:04

We have something in common then because I think you're very odd too 🙂 I'm sure your diagnosis of ND is against some kind of professional guidelines somewhere, what with you working in that area and everything.

I wouldn't worry about that poster. They cried on a post earlier today about trigger warnings despite the title of the post being very very very clever about the contents, then cried more about people "tagging" her (or just responding to her nonsense). You canny argue with stupid.

Excelling name though... Pompidou!

Delphiniumandlupins · 31/03/2024 18:17
  1. It's very normal behaviour for small children to question EVERYTHING. But very annoying.
  2. You could wear headphones.
  3. You could just not reply or try "Sorry I can't chat today" - difficult if he can still see you.
  4. You could get out your lawnmower/hedgetrimmer/power-washer/other noisy machinery.
  5. You could try questioning him back (he may get into a long reply and you can switch off).
  6. He may start school after the summer.
  7. Make your fence higher/more solid.

Sorry, not really got any Ideas how to stop him.

MrsMiddleMother · 31/03/2024 18:15

Whether he's ND or not really doesn't matter. If you don't like him peering over the fence constantly talking to you OP, you need to speak to his mother about it. It's rude and unwanted.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 18:08

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