AIBU that my husband refuses to apologise for being dead drunk?

Because op used to drink and stopped so yad decided he has to as well.

Loved the linr about the weather 😭😭

Imo he's not, on this occasion, done anything he needs to apologise for.
You hate drunks. That's a you problem.
If he'd pissed somewhere then he'd need to apologise for that. But he didn't. He just got pissed and came home.

I understand how you feel, believe it or not. I hate drunken people. I hate my husband getting drunk. Hate it with a passion. He won't shut the fuck up and his idea of a conversation is a four hour monologue. He doesn't want interaction, he wants an audience. It's boring as fuck. I go to bed and pretend to be asleep just to get him to stop talking at me.

But, like with you, it's a me problem and he's not actually doing anything wrong.

So I said to him look, you're an arsehole when you're drunk and I hate it. When you want a night out, can't you just book a cheap hotel room and come back the next day when you're sober because I can't be arsed dealing with drunk you.

I do understand this isn't affordable for everyone but drinking in pubs costs a fortune so a compromise might be go out less often and never the night before a family activity is planned but stay the fuck out and reappear when he's sober.

Frankly its more the lack of acknowledgement of hurting my feelings more than anything that is getting to me. Yeah he went out and things happen in the swing of the night. But without even an "sorry I was having too much fun but I know you don't like it and I'm sorry I upset you" would be ok

that’s so controlling I actually grimaced. Why should he apologise to you. You are not the boss of him. Stop doing this.

Oh god I’d hate if my husband treated me like you treat your husband. He has to apologise and live my your standards. How utterly Controlling.

you don’t like getting drunk. Fair enough. You don’t need to but to be so controlling you only allow him to get “a bit merry” or he has to apologise to you personally is just horrible behaviour.

get a grip on yourself. You don’t get to treat people like this

I left someone like you once, that partner resented the fun AND loved the control. Killjoys are deeply unappealing.

He was this way when you met him, you genuinely thought you could force him to change, or keep forcing him to apologise?

If you want to close the relationship or have him walk out on you, carry on as you are.

Accept things as they are or walk, there’s very little that isn’t toxic in between.

Quite astonishing how many posters think it is OK for an adult and a father to get so drunk.
How often does he do this?

He’s not to blame for the weather so that’s can’t be helped haha. You knew he liked to go out and get drunk when you were dating so you accepted this behaviour and can’t expect him to change just because you now find it upsetting. You said you used to drink but decided it wasn’t worth the hassle, that doesn’t mean he has to give it up because you made a decision about drink.

But without even an "sorry I was having too much fun but I know you don't like it and I'm sorry I upset you" would be ok.

Really?! So which is it….. he can’t go out and get drunk because you find it upsetting or he can go out and get drunk as long as he apologises for it?

How is that even relevant?

Did you apologise for wearing your DMs? Genuine question

My thought too. There's mumsnetters on here who do this now and again after a girls night out. As long as no-one makes a mess, I just eye roll.

At any point has the OP given examples that he is a shit dad or a shit partner? Because he gets drunk now and again? wow

🤣🤣🤣🤣

He can do what he wants, but as he sounds like a shit partner and likely a shit dad, he wouldn’t be doing it around me.

@NearlyBritishSummertimeYay I mean, I phoned him on the way to the kebab shop to see if he wanted anything. He never answered, so that's a him problem 😂

We might be a waste of space but are cool

Cool wives is a term user on here to suggest women with their own opinion must be peacocking to men

Same here!

@Crunchymum. I'm a cool wife for not understanding what the OP's husband has done wrong?
Thanks - I've never been a cool anything before 😎

I don't think he has anything to apologise for.

In YOUR opinion, but hey, some people find getting hammered fun, amazing isnt it how we are all different !!!

It would piss me off too. There is no need to get hammered in order to have fun.

@Mimimimi1234

The reason I responded to ypur post is you reaponded to mine by saying anyone that likes to drink is selfish, boring and undignified. I disagree with you, anyway, it takes all sorts to make the world go round and we can disagree

We can indeed disagree but this is a category error. I didn’t say anyone who drink is selfish, boring and undignified, I said drunks are selfish, boring and undignified. Critical distinction. I drink and in fact I was drinking last night. I never drink to the point where I embarrass myself or others.

I stand by this. I have no problem at all with people who drink alcohol. I do generally choose not to spend time with people who can’t stop.

Your arm must hurt with that reach.

Op is the unhealthy one.

Annoying yes. If he does this a lot and doesn't do his fair share or assumes you will pick up the slack while he is hungover. I would expect a grovelling apology for being out of action and I'd expect to be buggering off for a night in a hotel on my own when I feel like it with no requests or explanation. You should maybe consider why it is that this upsets you so much, is it from the past. Do you feel he's humiliating you.