AIBU that my husband refuses to apologise for being dead drunk?

That sounds an excellent way to spend a weekend!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🌹🍻🍻🏉💪💖

Yes but getting pissed can be a lot of fun. And it doesn't sound like he does it very often and it doesn't sound like his behaviour whilst he was drunk was unacceptable. But I get that some adults like to control how other adults behave.

Where has Op said he's out of control or had massive personality changes?

Sleeping downstairs so that you don't wake your partner is really no big deal!

It's an odd and worrying fact that it's deemed completely socially acceptable to drink until you're so out of control, you sleep on the floor/forget what you've been up to/have major personality changes. If this behaviour was down to any other drug except for alcohol, it would be viewed through a completely different lens- yet the only difference is that one drug is legal and the others aren't.

Yep, remember really well because I wasn't pissed, you can drink without being pissed you know!

Kick him out.

I think you sound controlling

No but it can be fun - remember what that was?

Maybe not, but I would bet she gets the 'ick', getting drunk is not big or clever. It's something kids do until they learn limits.

Apologise for having fun. - a life of misery awaits. You can see why some marriages might feel like a life sentence.

That will blow some people’s minds on here!

@Valeriekat

it IS ok for a father to get drunk sometimes!

his children were not with him

you don’t stop being a person who wants to have fun and let their hair down sometimes just cos you’re a parent you know

Hmm he’s peed in the wrong place? Thats too much, both Dh have been utterly bladdered at various points but never so much that we couldn’t pee in the loo (I may have fallen off said loo once, but I still found it).That sounds like a few drinks too far for me.

Also the offender in our house gets a bit of a lie in but still has to get up and get shit done. It’s fine going for a night out but if it means you write off a family day then yeah I’d be unhappy with that. We don’t give ourselves the option so it kinda restrains the “it’s 2am lets open another bottle of wine reflex.”

It’s shit dealing with a really hungover person when you have small kids. Once in a while I could forgive (except the peeing thing, I wouldn’t be forgiving of that). But getting a bit merry in itself is not a crime.

I find it odd that you are so hung up on the concept of him drinking. If you were on here ranting that he got so drunk you have been left with all childcare for the day and your pre agreed plans have had to be cancelled I think you would have a lot more support. But the random, "I find him being drunk offensive" is just weird.

But based on other messages it sounds like this isn't a once off, and actually just being out of commission is a minor version of his usual drunken behaviour. Plus he is weirdly controlling as well.

In which case there are probably bigger issues here you should be addressing.

Yes I did the same… SO controlling.

The worst possible time to berate a person who's been out drinking is when they have an hangover/possibly still inebriated.

I’m an adult and a mother. My kids go away over some weekend, so that’s my chance to see the guy I’m dating and we got proper fucking drunk on the last day of the six nations, had a whole bunch of sex and spent Sunday in bed with bacon sandwiches. Wonder what you think of me.

Adults can have fun which involves booze. As long as it isn’t a daily/weekly occurrence.

How many valid reasons do you need? It's expensive, it's irresponsible as he could be injured or damage his health by getting into that state, it means he's expecting the OP to stay sober and parent their child, and the most important one for me, he should grow the fuck up and behave like an adult.

Urgh.

The ‘cool wives’ comments are so pathetic.

My own DH has gone out with friends this afternoon. I hope he has the decency to sleep downstairs and not wake me when he arrives home. No doubt he will of had a few too many, however despite popular opinions he is also an excellent Dad and pretty decent DH.

I don't expect an apology tomorrow for him enjoying himself, he handles his drink reasonably well so I expect he will be up and sorted by 9am.

As long as your DH doesn't do this weekly, isn't aggressive, demanding or a pain in the arse when drunk I'm struggling to see the issue or the need to demand apologies.

I'm 100% sure when I go out I won't apologise for enjoying myself and getting carried away. I'm a responsible adult most of the time and nobody is at risk or present when I go out for a night so nobody needs to check up on my behaviour as I'm an adult.

If you don't like people drinking that's your issue not your DH issue.

"However I don't like drunks. I don't like being around them. I was certainly no angel when I was younger but I decided it wasn't worth the hassle and I didn't like the way I was. I do like a drink but pretty much never get drunk anymore. Everyone has things that upset them, this is mine.
Frankly its more the lack of acknowledgement of hurting my feelings more than anything that is getting to me. "

Wow so because you don't like drinking then your DH never can. How controlling.

He has absolutely nothing to apologise for.

Ok so he did it twice in how many years? No not good but not as hysterical making as you’re making out.

Considering @Oliverlouise81 said he has more than once pissed somewhere that isn’t the bathroom, surely this would indicate someone who gets more drunk than is considered ”normal” and needs to modify their drinking!

Could you give me one valid reason ir isn't okay, using facts and not making things up.

Yes it's very kind of you to accept that OP.