Nanny holidays

50 50 is common practice for a nanny and employer. I would set out your future expectations and issue a new contract.
I would also expect her to be In when your away to tidy play room , deep clean toys ect only because she's taking the piss .

I'd give her set leave weeks for the dates when you don't need a nanny. It sounds like this will be around 9 weeks leave a year? I'm sure plenty of Nannies would be more than happy with this arrangement.

I've been a nanny for 25 years.

I choose 2 weeks holiday, the employer chooses 2 weeks holiday. I have only ever allowed 1 employer to stipulate my entire holiday time and NEVER AGAIN.

OP, your nanny was cheeky to change her holiday that she already had booked; but you allowed that to happen.

FWIW, I will NEVER book my 2 weeks in the summer holidays because I know my family have their 2 weeks then and it will work out that I do get more holiday time. It's no different to someone in an office booking holiday which includes a BH in order to get that longer bit of holiday.

They always have extra holiday and I am paid for it; it's their choice to go away.

I work flippin' hard as a nanny and I am entitled to my time off.

Oh and demanding 4 MONTHS notice for her to take holiday is utterly unreasonable.

In our contract we agreed we’d choose 50% of holiday dates and our nanny chooses 50%

as others have pointed out, this is market standard.

And if you have unreasonable conditions, she will just leave for another job.

You can state at the start of the year these are the weeks you will be away and she has to take her annual leave then. You can't just tell her as you go along - you have to take a weeks annual leave next month. So get organised yourself and do this. You will have to issue an updated contract, make sure you follow the legalities for doing this i.e. paperwork showing consultation with the nanny. Look on ACAS website for more details.

OP said 4 months notice

That is unreasonable. The nanny is an employee, not your slave op

Four months notice for leave would probably be judged unreasonable at an industrial tribunal.
You legally have to give her 20 days plus 8 bank holidays (although 8 days do not have to be taken on bank holidays). If her contract only says 20 days, you are already breaking the law whatever holiday she actually gets.

Agree you need to renegotiate contract (and be prepared to lose her) people who work in a school can only take holidays in the school holidays , you would have to specify those dates you will be away , she could only take holiday then. and it would be generous to give 5 days to take freely . If you are away extra to her holidays give her tasks to do or free holiday

It is usual for nannies to choose 10 days and families to choose 10 days during which the nanny will also be on holiday. It is also usual for the employing family to use their own annual leave to cover the nanny's chosen dates.. you could split this between you and your son's father. You can also require your nanny to give you notice of her required holiday.

Once your child is at school, this is especially important as you will most likely only want to take your annual leave during school holidays and this may also need to be written into your contract with your nanny... it has a significant impact on the cost of holidays but that is part of the challenege of nannying for school age children.

Speak to ACAS to undetstand the required steps to alter your nanny's contract to reflect this. Do it formally and give her the option to consider the changes and choose to her hand in her notice if she is not happy with the change.

The way I work it is, I have 20 days holiday. I choose 10 days of my holiday to use as I want! I give a months notice.

my employers are entitled to use the other 10 days to those choosing again giving at least a months notice.

anything else is extra holiday.

Give her dates when you don't need her and tell her 20 days of hollidays must be in that time but she needs to confirm a month ahead as otherwise you may call her if you need help.
Teachers have fixed hollidays and so can she.

I don’t think 16 weeks notice of big holidays eg summer is at all unreasonable. Not nanny but my employer does this.

My contracts have always been 50:50 & I have always worked with the parents to choose the least inconvenient time for them when possible. However if I NEED to take holiday for a specific reason, then I expect to be able to do that without a fuss.

for the last few years I have probably ended up with more leave than is in my contract, but not able to plan to go away or anything as they'd expect me to be available and I have also lived in for several weeks at a time, several times, when they have been away (with very little notice) & do some very anti social hours too and had ZERO time off when then they have needed me.

I feel a bit of a mug in a way, but it just sort of evolved. 💁🏻‍♀️

"no-one should have to give 4 months notice of holiday"

Don't join any of the emergency services then. 17 months in advance for leave sheets going in. Nightmare 🤣

Agree. Holidays to coincide with yours. As it stands she is getting Christmas, 20 days plus 6 - 8 weeks. It is totally normal for some occupations not to have any choice about holidays (teachers for example). I'm sure you'd be sympathetic to the odd special occasion but this is Christmas plus 50 - 60 days. She's a total CF

I'd change her contract telling her holidays must be taken when you are away or dc is at dad's- you will give her these dates at the start of the leave year. She has been taking the piss

This is the red flag for me. I’d seriously reevaluate the relationship you currently have. There is something else going on and I’d suspect she is taking other paid work.

The 6-8 weeks per year that you don't need her to look after your son, I'd tell her that she needs to be on 'stand-by' even if she doesn't actually have to come in to work. You're presumably paying her in full for these days, so she needs to be available if needed. What if your DS dad was poorly and couldn't have his son at short notice? Or your plans change last minute?

Then if she wants to take holiday during this time, that will need to come out of her holiday allowance.

The alternative is to get her in to do 'nursery duties' even if it's only a few hours a week during this time.

I agree it sounds a cushy number for her. I would think about getting a new nanny. She is taking advantage of your generosity.

You choose half, she chooses half. 6 notice. This is basic stuff, if you don't know this are you doing the more complicated tax and payroll and pension correctly?

I can see why you are frustrated. It sounds as though you need a part-time nanny. Does she look after other children? If so, could you negotiate a part-time contract? (Apologies if this is not how it works. I've not used nannies.) I don't think you can ask her to do other duties not associated with the job, such as admin or cleaning. If I was a trained nanny, I'd be a bit miffed if someone as me to clean.

Time to change her contract. It’s a shame she’s taking the piss, time to limit that going forward

Wow she's taking the royal piss!

In a job, you are paid for work, or you're on holiday pay.

She gets 6-8 weeks off when you're on holiday, does no work in that time, gets full pay, and cancels any leave she's booked if announce you're away, with the absolute brass neck of "well I don't need it as leave now, do I?". Fine, but you need to be doing some work then.

You've created this dynamic that she gets a full 8 weeks of your "holiday" off on full pay and she then gets a full holiday entitlement to book around it. The awkward thing is you've let it run like this, and she already sounds like a cheeky fucker with how she announces it like it's her entitlement, so now, if you try and move to what is fair and right, she'll act like you've screwed her over.

I can see this unfortunately being a get rid of this one, because the ship has long sailed and her personality type, and get it right with the next.

That’s a total piss take, she still needs to be available at times you are planned to be away/child with father in case your plans change. If she can’t be available that week she needs to book the time off as holiday . What would have happened if your holiday had been cancelled or he was going to his dads but his dad was unexpectedly ill so he couldn’t go would she have been able to come in anyway

Isn't he in school? So she only has him a bit before and after school? Could you use breakfast clubs and after school clubs instead? Then he gets to socialise with his class mates and build those friendships too