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Original poster

Jealously about lifestyle

107 replies

heyho2023 · 30/03/2024 23:23

I know this is ridiculous, however, I can’t help but feel jealous of others lifestyle.
I live in a nice town in a modest but nice 3 bed semi. I have a middle management job as does my husband. We drive old cars and don’t do fancy holidays.
Most of my friends are in very nice large houses with two brand new cars. I know it’s not my business but I just don’t understand how they can afford it.

We do have some spare money which is nice but I am desperate to keep up with the Jones and have a nicer house……
We have our health and Im grateful for that but I’m finding the jealousy overwhelming at times!

OP posts:
Malarandras · 30/03/2024 23:48

On paper I’ve got a great life: large mortgage free house, lots of holidays, horses, nice clothes etc. Paid for with widows pensions earned through 13 years of a hellish marriage and the guilt of being so darned relieved he died before I left penniless. You don’t know how people have what they have, and you don’t know it makes life happier. Focus on what you have, comparing yourself to other people is fruitless as you will never know the whole story.

mollyfolk · 30/03/2024 23:43

would these people earn similar incomes? I hear of friends getting a loan to go on holidays and stuff and we would never do that. Same with the car - we always buy outright so never new. Sometimes people have a lot of debt. It’s very hard to know the ins and outs of people’s finances.

I’m doing a gratitude journal with my DD who has started to become jealous of what others have. It’s a good way to see what you have more positively.

Original poster
heyho2023 · 30/03/2024 23:42

@CranfordScones Nothing.
I have a lovely husband and two wonderful kids, good work life balance on the whole. Lots of time with them in the school week and holidays etc.
I know some friends who have totally outstretched their finances to do a big house move so I know I am lucky to live in a house we can afford.
I just thought I’d be further along the property ladder by now! The cars don’t bother me at all tbh. I know it’s just a house and that’s why I can’t understand feeling this way as my life is really rich in other way.

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 30/03/2024 23:40

As they say comparison is the thief of joy.
I'd rather have my health than money.
Looking at the Royal Family money cannot buy you good health.

MenoBabe · 30/03/2024 23:37

I read that you should only compare down not up, and that really has helped me to see how lucky I really am.

ForestBather · 30/03/2024 23:34

It sounds like you are in a position a lot of people would be jealous of.

Who knows how they afford it? Maybe they don't and are in a heap of debt? Family help? Inheritances?

Try to be content with what you have. Money really doesn't buy happiness and, in my experience, one day something tragic happens to someone you know who looks like they have it all and you realise how unimportant all that stuff is.

CranfordScones · 30/03/2024 23:31

Obviously your feelings are valid, because that's what you're feeling.

Does your self-esteem and happiness really rest on these sorts of comparisons? What if these people didn't exist, or you were the winner in the who-has-most-stuff contest? Would it really make a difference? What are you missing in an absolute sense?