Market experience with autistic DS, I'm gutted

He was asking OP to tell her DS to stop before he broke something. Unsure why that's so difficult for you to fathom

That there is a much bigger picture here, some people either choose not to see that or are unable to understand a situation which doesn’t duplicate their own experience and focus purely on their opinions about touching things that a person may or may not buy. Ultimately even without the bigger picture these are all only opinions and not facts.

I'm sorry you and your son were upset. I would say the man was in the wrong. Surely if he broke something you would pay for it?

I had the same thing actually with my 5 year old son, we were in an indoor market and my son was looking at the cds, he picked one up and looked at it and the guy snatched it out of his hand and put it back!! The funny thing was that he had some money to spend and would have liked to buy one. (He loves cds). We walked away! People can be awkward!

My first thought was theft. It's common for people to use their children to shoplift and a disability would be a possible cover. I bet the stall holder has lost stock this way. Not saying it's easy or fair on you though. I have 2 autistic boys and was banned from my local corner shop as a suspected thief (no proof, I am not a thief and I later complained and got unbanned).

Some people on this thread are bonkers Op.

Understand what? If the child was genuinely interested to buy something as a customer fine but otherwise children do not need to be touching

Stall holder was rude. However, must be annoying when children touch things. When my DC were 6, I wouldn't have allowed them to touch things like that.

Sorry don’t know how I managed to quote someone and now I can’t seem to edit it

@Kalevala yeah,no.

Given that your child wasn't going to purchase eyeshadow, not unreasonable for the stall holder to not want him handling the merchandise.

OP some people just don’t get it. You’re doing a good job in difficult circumstances and the most helpful thing you can do for you and your son is learn to ignore the people who just don’t understand.

@OolongTeaDrinker many posters saying that you shouldn't touch unless buying, adults included.

Possibly because you attacked a market trader whilst completely disregarding the multiple mistakes you made?

Ignore all the goady posters OP, you sound really measured and are clearly navigating a more tricky version of parenting than lots of people encounter. We’d all do things differently with hindsight x

Maybe you should stay home then if you are constantly picking up things you aren't interested in buying, like a child who hasn't been taught not to. As least you are less likely to have sticky fingers, I hope.

@Kalevala I have money, less so on the interest in buying stuff.

I assume you are there with money and picking up things you have an interest in buying?

To be honest, browsing in markets and shops with the dc is now our worst nightmare to be avoided at all costs. As adults, we handle things and stallholders accept that. Children see adults handle things and want to do the same. It becomes very hard to explain why they cannot also handle things, however careful they're being. We've encountered quite a few stallholders who clearly don't like children touching things. I get it, kids can be clumsy and unpredictable. Our kids touch things compulsively, both have adhd and frequently get taken over by impulse. So we just stay away from those places because both dc struggle not to touch things and we get tired of the battles with them ("Don't touch!" on repeat) and the disapproving looks from stallholders. We save our browsing for when we don't have the dc in tow.

That said, the stallholder was very rude too and would not have got my custom - particularly after you explained your son is autistic.

Regarding the spitting that others have latched onto and said they wouldn't accept, it's just bad behaviour and there's not excuse for. To do anything except ignore it and calmly walk away would have escalated the situation further. Immediate consequences in that situation are ineffective and do not correct the 'bad behaviour'. With adhd kids (added to autism) they are impusive and lack self control. Yes, spitting is gross, and hugely embarrassing, and dirty etc. But always best to wait until the child is calm and then talk reflectively about what happened, how they felt, why etc. Thankfully dd is over her spitting stage, but we do sometimes experience expletives in public, which is very embarrassing and difficult to ignore with other people's eyes boring into you and expecting you to mete out immediate consequences.

Some people have no idea how hard it is to do the normal things that other families take for granted, op. It's particularly hard when some disabilities are hidden and some children really are just naughty. Onlookers struggle to distinguish between the two.

be less entitled you are wrong. His stock his rules.

No one has a problem with adults picking up things they might purchase, but not a 6 year old. I don’t let my young DC go around any retail place randomly picking things unless it’s a toy shop. Not because I’m a perfect parent, mostly because I don’t want to have to pay for something they might ruin, it’s just common sense 🤷🏻‍♀️

This thread is absolutely bonkers. The amount of people that don't touch stuff to check it out, see if they like it. If there's stuff for sale, on a table, shelves etc unless it says DO NOT TOUCH and I'm interested in it, such as make up, small ornaments etc I'm touching it. If it's quite obviously expensive like a hand made blown glass vase etc I'm not touching it.

He was rude but I don't let my children pick up stuff in shops etc breakable or otherwise, it just seems polite.