Page 9 | To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

Medsy · 2024-03-30T13:04:48+00:00

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude. It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich. WIBU?

Bbbbbbbby · 31/03/2024 09:53

There are a lot of Absolutely batshit replies on this thread. It's like posters are in a competition to reply with the nastiest most frothing reply possible.

OP, I think I might have said something aloud like "oh darn, are there no more vegetarian sandwiches" and hoped he might offer to switch but I don't think I'd have directly asked. I don't think asking is anything like as outrageous as lots of posters are suggesting though.

I wouldn't have minded if you had asked me but I would have felt a little awkward if there wasn't another type of sandwich I'd wanted.

Caerulea · 31/03/2024 09:52

Good grief. What's going on in this thread?

OP - I wouldn't have had your confidence to ask but if someone asked me (I'm not veggie) I wouldn't have minded at all & neither me nor my DH would have leapt to one another's defence because we're not psychotic

waftabout · 31/03/2024 09:42

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:01

Reading this thread it's pretty clear to me now how we ended up with a brexit vote

What? 😂😂😂😂😂

This is really reaching!

You were rude but the wife shouldn't have gone off on you. Get over it.

BigBoysDontCry · 31/03/2024 09:41

I have many conversations in supermarkets, in queues, in shops on trains etc. None of them have made me feel entitled to ask them personal questions or for something they'd already selected.

If they've taken the thing I fancied then for me it's tough shit. It doesn't make me afraid of strangers or whatever.

We also have and use the phrase "shy bairns get no sweeties" but it's not intended to mean that you can break the norms of society.

HoldingTheDoor · 31/03/2024 09:40

You still haven’t told us what you wished him luck with.

CatkinToadflax · 31/03/2024 09:39

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:10

It shows a mistrust and fear of others/strangers. It also shows that when the option is there to make a connection that might mean everyone leaves happy, Outraged in Surrey would prefer you say nothing at all and leave empty handed with no debate.

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I genuinely cannot fathom what any of the above has to do with Brexit. The Brexiteers voted to leave the EU, it wasn’t a vote against joining the EU in the first place!

SmileyClare · 31/03/2024 09:20

Society functions far better if we adhere to the unwritten social rules and niceties. Most people learn those as they get older and develop emotional intelligence; for example forming a civilised queue without being asked.

One of those is not walking up to people in supermarkets and asking politely if you can have an item from their basket.

Our local Tescos often runs out of stock. It’d be chaos if all the shoppers thought they were entitled to approach the shopper who’d grabbed the last pack of toilet rolls (or whatever) just because they have “greater need” 🤨

If you want polite “innocuous” conversations with fellow shoppers then crack on- make some cheerful small talk in the queue or something .

Megifer · 31/03/2024 09:20

I'd say the sort if person who thinks they have a right to know if someone is as worthy as they are of a sandwich is just the type who voted for Brexit tbh

ForestBather · 31/03/2024 09:19

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:10

It shows a mistrust and fear of others/strangers. It also shows that when the option is there to make a connection that might mean everyone leaves happy, Outraged in Surrey would prefer you say nothing at all and leave empty handed with no debate.

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I'd have voted remain, and I still wouldn't give you the sandwich I chose.

HoldingTheDoor · 31/03/2024 09:19

”Make a connection” Why do they have to make a connection with you? You’re buying lunch from a store that presumably sells hundreds of other edible products, even if they aren’t your first choice, before going on a train journey to Leicester or wherever. Not dividing up your last ration pack with the only other survivor of the plane crash before trekking through the wilds of Alaska together.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 09:16

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:01

Reading this thread it's pretty clear to me now how we ended up with a brexit vote

Really?
How so?
Is that what all the entitled folk, like you, wanted?

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 09:14

Medsy · 31/03/2024 08:39

The co-op wife vibe is strong in this one...

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Meanwhile the entitled 'vibe' is positively bursting out of you.

exerciseshmexercise · 31/03/2024 09:13

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:10

It shows a mistrust and fear of others/strangers. It also shows that when the option is there to make a connection that might mean everyone leaves happy, Outraged in Surrey would prefer you say nothing at all and leave empty handed with no debate.

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I voted remain.

Your form of questioning would not have meant I left happy. I would have left hungry. And you think you're superior to me because philosophy. And that is very odd.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 09:13

ReadingSoManyThreads · 31/03/2024 02:16

Or maybe he wasn't that fussed on what flavour he had and just grabbed the first one? Who knows? We'll never know, but there was no harm in asking politely if he'd swap. It's not bad manners to politely ask.

Is it really so awkward to reply "Actually, I want to stick with the cheese".

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Is it really so awkward to reply "Actually, I want to stick with the cheese"

for some people, yes, as has already been explained.

Juicesausagecake · 31/03/2024 09:12

I think you are all right, OP.

This was a genuinely good AIBU dilemma for Mumsnet.

The MN crowd have given you a hard time. I don’t know why people make these threads so personal. But that doesn’t mean you were wrong for mentioning it to the man. He wasn’t unreasonable for declining, either.

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 31/03/2024 09:11

Pepsiisbetterthancoke · 30/03/2024 13:24

Maybe she thought you wanted more than his sarnie.

🙄

oh crack a smile champ, it was a joke on thread full of over reactions about someone asking for a sandwich

Original poster

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:10

HoldingTheDoor · 31/03/2024 09:04

What in the actual fuck has you being bonkers enough to ask someone if they could give you their sandwich got to do with Brexit?

It shows a mistrust and fear of others/strangers. It also shows that when the option is there to make a connection that might mean everyone leaves happy, Outraged in Surrey would prefer you say nothing at all and leave empty handed with no debate.

OP posts:

Loopytiles · 31/03/2024 09:07

charming, OP!

MummaMummaJumma · 31/03/2024 09:06

DreamTheMoors · 31/03/2024 03:06

Read that back to yourself, @MummaMummaJumma.
What is it you fancy?

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Definitely the bat shit!

Abbimae · 31/03/2024 09:06

Medsy · 30/03/2024 16:52

Well clearly I live on another planet (duly accepted!) because I actually feel the complete opposite to you. I find it concerning and sad to live in a society where someone can't politely, in a friendly way and applying no pressure, ask if there's any chance someone would be okay with swapping sandwiches. It's hardly "Hey do you mind if I take a dump un your basket?" is it?
He could have said "actually I'm veggie too" or "actually I've been really craving a cheese sandwich, sorry!" and I would have said no problem! Or he might have said "sure, I was torn between that and the chicken coronation anyway so knock yourself out".

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Except by asking you are applying pressure? As in there is a suggestion you do except them to swap. Smacks entitlement. Your own lack of planning is not someone else’s fault

HoldingTheDoor · 31/03/2024 09:04

What in the actual fuck has you being bonkers enough to ask someone if they could give you their sandwich got to do with Brexit?

Megifer · 31/03/2024 09:04

Medsy · 31/03/2024 08:53

So, never have an innocuous conversation with anyone as it might cause somebody to have a breakdown and never visit a supermarket again?
Yeah, thanks but I won't be taking your advice!

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Innocuous doesn't mean what you think it means unfortunately.

By asking if the guy was vegetarian you implied your preference for the sandwich was greater than his if hes not a vegetarian. That's not innocuous. Not even a little bit.

Not suggesting for one minute you take my advice (although it wasn't advice? Another word that doesnt mean what you think it means) just giving another view as to why its not going to be such a benign request for some.

Abbimae · 31/03/2024 09:04

er yabu

Beasmum4 · 31/03/2024 09:04

Medsy · 31/03/2024 09:01

Reading this thread it's pretty clear to me now how we ended up with a brexit vote

I voted Remain but still think you’re rude.

exerciseshmexercise · 31/03/2024 09:03

I really wish the OP would answer my question but clearly they're not going to they're just going to claim that meat eaters voted for Brexit. LOL.