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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

684 replies

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

OP posts:
ChurchOfSeitan · 31/03/2024 10:20

@CheeryPye I think you’re confusing vegetarianism with veganism. It’s vegans that avoid all animal products. Vegetarians simply avoid dead animal.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/03/2024 10:19

I think it was fine to ask. He was also fine to say no, as he might not like the other sandwiches they had.

I don’t eat meat, but even when I did, I’m quite fussy about sandwiches not being “mucked about with” (ie containing sauces and the like).

You could just buy some bread and cheese which would probably be nicer anyway.

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:19

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 10:16

Because cheese is made from animal products.

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Vegetarians eat some animal products like dairy and eggs, they just don't eat meat/ actual parts of animals.

Vegans avoid all animal products.

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:18

CurlewKate · 30/03/2024 19:00

An adult going"batshit" at another adult for a trivial reason is weird, though.

Apparently OP's definition of someone going batshit, is someone saying "you're rude". Which she was.

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:16

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 10:14

Of course there's just the small detail that cheese isn't vegetarian anyway 😂

Yes it is, is as long as it doesn't include rennet. It's not vegan.

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 10:16

hangingonfordearlife1 · 31/03/2024 10:14

why wouldn't they be?

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Because cheese is made from animal products.

ForestBather · 31/03/2024 10:16

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:14

Sure. And I don't think either of these dietary restrictions is more or less valid than the other. But I think in that situation, if you were in the middle of nowhere and it's the only option, it's OK to ask.

In the supermarket I don't think it's OK to ask, because there are hundreds of options available which aren't ready made sandwiches.

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I'd have less problem with them asking if they accepted no for an answer. Instead OP required the man to justify his choice to her. That's not on.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 10:15

hangingonfordearlife1 · 31/03/2024 10:14

why wouldn't they be?

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Already discussed upthread.

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:15

@MadAntonia The alternative for her would have been to go hungry.

And again, this nonsense. Do you think there was nothing else in the entire shop that OP as a veggie could possibly eat? No, she just wanted that sandwich. Tough.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 31/03/2024 10:14

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 30/03/2024 13:09

I don’t think co-op cheese sandwiches are vegetarian are they?

why wouldn't they be?

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:14

ForestBather · 31/03/2024 10:12

A shop in the middle of nowhere, with giving a vegetarian my cheese sandwich, I'd be forced to choose between eating processed meat that I think is unhealthy and that I'm medically advised not to eat by a medical specialist, or eating nothing in this situation. And I don't owe OP that explanation. This is also why I'd carry my own food with me, because it's rare I find something like that I can eat.

Show quote history

Sure. And I don't think either of these dietary restrictions is more or less valid than the other. But I think in that situation, if you were in the middle of nowhere and it's the only option, it's OK to ask.

In the supermarket I don't think it's OK to ask, because there are hundreds of options available which aren't ready made sandwiches.

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 10:14

Of course there's just the small detail that cheese isn't vegetarian anyway 😂

ForestBather · 31/03/2024 10:12

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:05

Yes and tbh, even if he only wants it because he prefers cheese, that's fine as well - he got there first.

It would be different if it was a shop in the middle of nowhere that only sold sandwiches and OP would otherwise be forced to eat meat or go hungry. Then it would of course be OK to ask. But in this circumstance, in a supermarket, there are so many other options!

Show quote history

A shop in the middle of nowhere, with giving a vegetarian my cheese sandwich, I'd be forced to choose between eating processed meat that I think is unhealthy and that I'm medically advised not to eat by a medical specialist, or eating nothing in this situation. And I don't owe OP that explanation. This is also why I'd carry my own food with me, because it's rare I find something like that I can eat.

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 10:12

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:10

because the alternative was for you to go hungry

Eh?

She was in a shop which would have had other veggie things she could eat. She just felt entitled to the sandwich.

Quite. More entitled than the person who already had it. Which shows a staggering arrogance.

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:10

because the alternative was for you to go hungry

Eh?

She was in a shop which would have had other veggie things she could eat. She just felt entitled to the sandwich.

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 10:10

I don't know on what planet anyone in a supermarket would think they are more entitled to the sandwich than the person who already picked it up. Why does he have to discuss his dietary requirements with you?

HoldingTheDoor · 31/03/2024 10:07

OP’s replies are more batshit than the people responding to her. First that nonsense where she seemed to claim that others thought she was a monster now the bs about Brexit.

Also Sandwich Man’s wife was hardly “psychotic”. It appears that all she did was say that OP was rude. Now my standards for what qualifies as batshit may be too high but I really don’t think that counts as going batshit as the OP originally claimed that she did.

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:05

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:02

It is rude to lead with a gatekeeping question that implies you are more worthy of it.

I think this is the nub of it. OP sees herself as more morally deserving, no matter what the man's circumstances may have been. And that kind of assumed superiority complex pisses folk off. Including me.

Veggie is a choice, nothing like being coeliac which is a medical condition.

Yes and tbh, even if he only wants it because he prefers cheese, that's fine as well - he got there first.

It would be different if it was a shop in the middle of nowhere that only sold sandwiches and OP would otherwise be forced to eat meat or go hungry. Then it would of course be OK to ask. But in this circumstance, in a supermarket, there are so many other options!

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:02

. So philosophically, you're equally complicit if you get him to buy it.

Excellent point. You animal murderer OP!!

WandaWonder · 31/03/2024 10:02

Bbbbbbbby · 31/03/2024 09:53

There are a lot of Absolutely batshit replies on this thread. It's like posters are in a competition to reply with the nastiest most frothing reply possible.

OP, I think I might have said something aloud like "oh darn, are there no more vegetarian sandwiches" and hoped he might offer to switch but I don't think I'd have directly asked. I don't think asking is anything like as outrageous as lots of posters are suggesting though.

I wouldn't have minded if you had asked me but I would have felt a little awkward if there wasn't another type of sandwich I'd wanted.

Why is the op more entitled than the sandwich 'stealer'

No i don't think the sandwich was stolen but I am not insane

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 31/03/2024 10:02

It is rude to lead with a gatekeeping question that implies you are more worthy of it.

I think this is the nub of it. OP sees herself as more morally deserving, no matter what the man's circumstances may have been. And that kind of assumed superiority complex pisses folk off. Including me.

Veggie is a choice, nothing like being coeliac which is a medical condition.

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 10:02

Alargeoneplease89 · 30/03/2024 22:15

84% of people are batshit crazy, honestly can't believe people think you are unreasonable just asking?

Edited

He's picked it up because he wants it, for whatever reason, and he got there first.

It's incredibly rude to then make him feel pressured into giving it up - especially when you're in a bloody supermarket surrounded by numerous other food options!!

It's not like OP would not be able to eat if she didn't get that cheese sandwich. She was in a shop full of food.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 10:00

Bbbbbbbby · 31/03/2024 09:53

There are a lot of Absolutely batshit replies on this thread. It's like posters are in a competition to reply with the nastiest most frothing reply possible.

OP, I think I might have said something aloud like "oh darn, are there no more vegetarian sandwiches" and hoped he might offer to switch but I don't think I'd have directly asked. I don't think asking is anything like as outrageous as lots of posters are suggesting though.

I wouldn't have minded if you had asked me but I would have felt a little awkward if there wasn't another type of sandwich I'd wanted.

Why is OP entitled to ask for someone else's sandwich - nobody has answered that yet?

pinkmushroom5 · 31/03/2024 09:56

OP, you were in a supermarket. A ready made cheese sandwich was not your only option, even if you were getting on a train - there is so much food you could choose from! You were incredibly rude and entitled to ask this.

bradpittsbathwater · 31/03/2024 09:54

The cheek that you even asked him.