Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

684 replies

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

OP posts:
SKG231 · 30/03/2024 14:39

I’d be completely shocked if someone did this to me. YABU

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 14:38

If someone is going to eat the meat sandwhich either way it might as well have been you

WhatFlavourIsIt · 30/03/2024 14:37

It's a bit cheeky, but if I was asked the same, I would probably give you the sandwich.

ABwithAnItch · 30/03/2024 14:35

So you tried to guilt trip him into handing over a sandwich because you choose not to eat meat and thought it would end well? I don’t like prepared meat sandwiches because they are bland, the cheese ones are always better. Don’t act so entitled!

letstrythatagain · 30/03/2024 14:34

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

This sentence should go down in MN history....how completely entitled 😆

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 14:33

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2024 13:51

You could, the fact that you dont is a preference

Show quote history

Perhaps it is a philosophical preference?

MyNameIsFine · 30/03/2024 14:31

You put him in an awkward position. If he says, no, he wants the cheese sandwich, then he seems rude. Perhaps he really didn't like the other sandwiches. The other woman totally overreacted, though. My guess is that she doesn't like vegetarians! Some people get quite offended by 'fussy eaters'.

tigger1001 · 30/03/2024 14:18

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:36

I asked really politely if there was any chance he would change his mind and he seemed to be hesitating when the woman came from behind me and said "excuse me? That is so rude!". I just ignored her and said thanks anyway and good luck to the guy.
If someone was gluten free or could only eat halal or kosher and asked me the way I did, I'd just think sure. Don't see the problem but clearly I'm in the minority.

I agree with her!!!

Beyond rude and so incredibly entitled.

ADrownedRat · 30/03/2024 14:16

bakewellbride · 30/03/2024 13:38

'Thanks anyway and good luck' 🤣this is the thread that keeps on giving

This really made me laugh @bakewellbride . out loud. thanks.

@HoldingTheDoor
You wished him good luck with what?

So many options here...

Good luck with that cheese sandwich. You're gonna need it.

Good luck with that wife of yours.

Good luck with your carnivorous life.

Good luck in the fist fight shortly to be arranged outside the Co-op over that very cheese sandwich you are holding

WhamBamThankU · 30/03/2024 14:13

You're cray cray and I've been vegetarian 35 years.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2024 14:11

bakewellbride · 30/03/2024 13:08

I'm a vegan and I vote yabu.

Same!

PoundlandColumbo · 30/03/2024 14:10

He did you a favour. Co-op sandwiches are rank. I'd rather do without.

Bbq1 · 30/03/2024 14:04

YAVVU. So rude and entitled. He wanted a cheese sandwich whatever his reasons and he got there first. Tough. It's not like there was no cheese or bread in the shop for you to buy. If I heard somebody peaking to my dh like that I would also be Wtf!!

twohotwaterbottles · 30/03/2024 14:03

Bloody hell OP. Give your head a shake. I'm cringing here🤦🏻‍♀️

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 14:02

I'm going to need OP to define "batshit"

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 14:01

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:36

I asked really politely if there was any chance he would change his mind and he seemed to be hesitating when the woman came from behind me and said "excuse me? That is so rude!". I just ignored her and said thanks anyway and good luck to the guy.
If someone was gluten free or could only eat halal or kosher and asked me the way I did, I'd just think sure. Don't see the problem but clearly I'm in the minority.

How is that batshit?

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 14:00

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/03/2024 13:40

The big green V on the Co-op sandwiches is very helpful. As is the information that all Co-op branded cheese that do not carry a PDO requiring the use of animal rennet (eg, Parmesan) is vegetarian.

Show quote history

Thanks.i don't shop in coop. Probably for the best

kitsuneghost · 30/03/2024 14:00

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:16

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

Show quote history

You prefer a cheese sandwich for your reason
He prefers a cheese sandwich for his reasons
You are not talking of allergies so your reason is not any important than his (or viceversa)
Vegetarianism is a choice just like wanting a cheese sandwich was his choice.

DisforDarkChocolate · 30/03/2024 13:59

I would have had no problem with being asked @Medsy.

ColleenDonaghy · 30/03/2024 13:58

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:13

Fair enough, it was only a question!

A really rude one though! Can't believe you actually asked Blush

I'm not veggie or vegan but often get a vegan wrap at work because premade sandwiches are awful but this particular one is ok. I might put it back for someone with a difficult dietary requirement (but usually those people are usually well prepared anyway) but not just for a preference.

totallybonkerswarning · 30/03/2024 13:58

SmileyClare · 30/03/2024 13:41

In the real world, people don’t go “batshit” in shops if you request something in a friendly polite way.
So either;

a)his wife was mentally unwell or

b)You rudely confronted the man with ARE YOU VEGETARIAN? in a pompous tone which annoyed his wife slightly and you exaggerated the “going batshit” part because you enjoy painting yourself as a victim.

Either way, work on your self awareness and move on now. 😉

Literally the person who replied under you said she'd behave in this bat shit manner even if she's a bystander

Everleigh13 · 30/03/2024 13:56

No, I wouldn’t have asked. He got there first. I would have found something else to eat or gone without.

CroccyWoccy · 30/03/2024 13:56

I’m not veggie but I have a very selective eater DC and in a situation where someone else had just picked up the last sandwich he would eat, I might ask if there were any other options they would be equally happy with. But would have been very apologetic about asking.

Normally I take packed lunches to avoid this though!

underthemilky · 30/03/2024 13:56

Lou670 · 30/03/2024 13:14

I would have had a go at you too. It is not acceptable to ask a fellow shopper what is his diet. He may be a meat eater but fancied a non meat sandwich. Very rude of you.

Why would you have go though. It's fine to ask bits fine to say no. It's not fine to go off at people just because they annoyed you. Just stay calm. Everything didn't have to be a fight

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 30/03/2024 13:53

Given the condescension in OPs posts I'm doubtful she asked in a polite, non judgemental non entitled way. Him being a vegetarian is neither here nor there and asking that makes it about more then just swapping a sandwich. Maybe his wife kicked off because he never stands up for himself and she knew he'd been moaning or feeling guilty after about it. Maybe OP was very polite and the wife flys off at anything. All we know is what OP tells us and what she shows of herself and she's made it clear what she thinks of omnivores. I wouldn't be able to eat any of the meat choices, food sensory issue's, literally can't chew or swallow lots of foods. I would never think trumps someone's prefence or pilosophy, first come first serve, if I didn't get there in time Id grab something else. Its pretty simple really.