Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

684 replies

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 30/03/2024 15:25

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:16

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

Show quote history

Out of philosophy... So... Also a preference?

Lanterns12828 · 30/03/2024 15:23

I am always amazed at some people's entitlement.
Edit: And not in a good way!

Poppasocks · 30/03/2024 15:22

My husband has multiple food allergies and if you'd have done this to him i'd have given you a mouthful of abuse as well!

YABU

Noyesnoyes · 30/03/2024 15:13

@Medsy so entitled! It's your choice to be veggie!

PansyOatZebra · 30/03/2024 15:13

Entitled. Yabu.

I am vegan and would never in a million years have done this is I saw someone take the last vegan one.

Crabcakeswin · 30/03/2024 15:12

I think it's fine to politely ask, just as it's fine for him to say no. Not sure why so many people are so aggrieved by this!

PoundlandColumbo · 30/03/2024 15:11

Medsy · 30/03/2024 15:07

I wasn't trying to assess whether he needed it more, I was wondering whether he was on the fence and open to letting me have it. Relax.

Show quote history

No you weren't. If you were wondering whether he was on the fence you'd have just lurked to see if he put it back. You asked whether he's veggie in an attempt to make him feel bad about choosing a shitty cheese sandwich.

Original poster
Medsy · 30/03/2024 15:10

What's a tulip?!

OP posts:
chocolategg · 30/03/2024 15:10

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 15:09

Relax... 🤣🤣🤣
You're some tulip, op.

Is that slang for something? Never hear that

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 15:09

Relax... 🤣🤣🤣
You're some tulip, op.

Original poster
Medsy · 30/03/2024 15:07

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 14:53

Don't be daft. He got to his preferred choice before you did. You were ridiculously cheeky to try to assess whether he needed it more.
The gall of you 😂

Show quote history

I wasn't trying to assess whether he needed it more, I was wondering whether he was on the fence and open to letting me have it. Relax.

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 30/03/2024 15:06

YABU op

CormorantStrikesBack · 30/03/2024 15:05

You were really rude. I barely eat meat, but I will sometimes have a steak while out so am not vegetarian. But no way would I eat cheap processed meat. The texture of it makes me feel quite sick. I always have vegetarian sandwiches. You could find another shop.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 30/03/2024 15:05

I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.

This is unlikely to happen because there are so few gluten free options available to grab for lunch in a shop. Even things that should be gluten free such as things with rice or quinoa will have wheat or barley as ingredient #23 thus rendering it inedible.

Look at it this way, you are going to eat something vegetarian anyway, so even if he is an omnivore if he eats a cheese sandwich rather than a ham sandwich that is a fraction of a piggy saved. If he keeps on eating a cheese sandwich to spite the memory of you then that is even more of a pig saved. Sharing it on MN means that more people might go for the cheese option in future so even more piggies saved.

rollonretirementfgs · 30/03/2024 14:56

TruthorDie · 30/03/2024 13:09

You sound rude and entitled. He got there first. You either eat another sandwich or make yourself something

Yes entitled! Spot on!

rollonretirementfgs · 30/03/2024 14:56

Wow! I hope he didn't give it to you. It's none of your business if he is vegetarian or not. It's not the same as gluten, it's YOUR CHOICE to be vegetarian! It's not an allergy or intolerance!

EnoughWithTheEggHuntAlready · 30/03/2024 14:54

I really want to NC and come on the thread pretending to be Outraged CoOp Wife!

@Medsy please explain the luck thing, I really want to know the thinking behind it Grin

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 14:53

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:16

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

Show quote history

Don't be daft. He got to his preferred choice before you did. You were ridiculously cheeky to try to assess whether he needed it more.
The gall of you 😂

FrangipaniBlue · 30/03/2024 14:53

YANBU to ask

but similarly he would not have been unreasonable to say no.

His wife was unreasonable though - I don't know why some people need to be so aggressive all the time!

AnImaginaryCat · 30/03/2024 14:52

Don't want to cast doubt on the OP's storytelling but if saying"excuse me? That is so rude" equals "batshit". I feel there's some embellishment in the description. Which makes me lack confidence that the OP asked "really politely".

Testina · 30/03/2024 14:52

chocolategg · 30/03/2024 14:38

If someone is going to eat the meat sandwhich either way it might as well have been you

Now that’s philosophy 👏🏻🤣

YireosDodeAver · 30/03/2024 14:49

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:21

I'm hardly going to jump in a train with a loaf of bread am I?!

Show quote history

So buy a couple of loose bread rolls rather than a loaf. Or buy something that isn't a sandwich - it's a supermarket so there's lots of different food. It's not rocket science. If a shop is out of stock of something you wanted, you make do with some kind of backup plan. Another customer taking the last of an item is exactly the same as the shop being out of stock and it's totally inappropriate to try to argue you have more rights to an item. A meat eater is entitled to want to eat a cheese sandwich and your preference for a cheese sandwich over the literally hundreds of other vegetarian food items in the shop is no more important than his preference for a cheese sandwich over the other things he might choose. He got there first. YABU.

FloofCloud · 30/03/2024 14:44

You chose to be vegetarian and he chose to eat cheese - YABU

BobbyBiscuits · 30/03/2024 14:44

It seems intrusive to question if someone seemingly has a more legitimate reason than another to have a packaged sandwich. The person who picked it up could be vegan and gluten intolerant, but it's their sandwich!
The lady shouldn't have butted in and went mad, but if I was the man I'd just say 'sorry' and smile apologetically. Without answering the question.
And why not grab sliced cheese and bread or a roll? That's the sort of sandwich you can easily recreate.

concernedchild · 30/03/2024 14:40

@Medsy YABU.

You choose not to eat meat. I choose not to eat certain things. That doesn't make either of our choices a priority.