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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

684 replies

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

OP posts:
Toffifee1 · 30/03/2024 19:33

someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 30/03/2024 19:27

Such bizarre responses on this thread, I wouldn’t have minded at all if you’d asked me and wouldn’t have thought you were being entitled at all. YANBU.

Exactly! I am sometimes torn between two choices and would‘ve given my sandwich to someone whos vegetarian/vegan/allergic if there was another suitable option for me. I‘m also vegetarian though and would never ask someone this because i‘d be to shy to do so.
wouldn‘t dream of calling OP all these things for asking in a friendly way..

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 19:33

someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 30/03/2024 19:27

Such bizarre responses on this thread, I wouldn’t have minded at all if you’d asked me and wouldn’t have thought you were being entitled at all. YANBU.

It's not bizarre to expect random strangers not to question your sandwich choices or not to lay claim to something you've already selected.

ChipsCheeseAndGravey · 30/03/2024 19:32

YNBU for asking for the sandwich, you don’t ask you’ll never know.
I think asking him if he is veggie maybe wasn’t the right idea, but to be honest I’d probably have let you have it (as long as there was something else I’d eat). I think as long as you’re polite it’s fine. Maybe if I was hangry it would go down differently tho.

HollyKnight · 30/03/2024 19:30

Maybe the sandwich was for his hangry vegetarian wife.

someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 30/03/2024 19:27

Such bizarre responses on this thread, I wouldn’t have minded at all if you’d asked me and wouldn’t have thought you were being entitled at all. YANBU.

JJathome · 30/03/2024 19:24

LiveLaughCryalot · 30/03/2024 19:13

Well to be more specific, he didn't mind. His wife did!

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To be honest, he might have. Plenty of men, not all of course, a lot of arseholes out there, but plenty of men are polite when a woman asks them something, my husband is one of them. He’d politely have given her the sandwich and said sure no problem. Maybe had a whinge after, but his inherent politeness and as she was female would have meant he’d have handed it over. If a man asked he’d have said no sorry mate I’m having it.

id be the one to tell the op to jog on.

and I suspect the op knew this. The man would have politely given it to her, and that’s why she scarpered with a good luck, when the woman did no more than tell her she was being rude.

I strongly suspect if it was another woman with the sandwich the op wouldn’t have asked.

ButterflyKu · 30/03/2024 19:21

That’s so strange imo

EG94 · 30/03/2024 19:21

im dying to know what the husband said before his wife went nuclear and what the wife actually said. also what did you eat?
please brighten my Saturday evening

LaughingCat · 30/03/2024 19:21

This thread has me crying 😂😂😂

Soz OP, no way would I ever ask a stranger, even politely, if I could have the sandwich in his basket. I’d have shrugged my shoulders and grabbed a couple of bread rolls, a bottle of mayo, a bag of salad and some Leerdammer and made myself a couple of sammies on the train.

I’m a voracious meat eater but I love nothing more than a cheese and onion sandwich and anyone that would ask me if I would be willing to swap because they’re veggie would have got short shrift from me. Because no matter how very nicely you ask, there’s still a subtext of almost blackmail in there - ‘you have lots of choice but I only have the one…that you took.’ I think you may have realised that quite a few others feel the sane way!

hottchocolate · 30/03/2024 19:18

I wasn't trying to assess whether he needed it more, I was wondering whether he was on the fence and open to letting me have it. Relax.

then you should have said nothing and waited to see if he put it back

hottchocolate · 30/03/2024 19:17

YABU - entitled and rude

you should have gone earlier if your diet is so restrictive or try somewhere else

LiveLaughCryalot · 30/03/2024 19:15

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 19:12

Irrelevant, since she didn't ask you. The guy she asked did mind 🤷🏻‍♀️

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And I'm giving my opinion like everyone else on this thread has 😂

LiveLaughCryalot · 30/03/2024 19:13

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 19:12

Irrelevant, since she didn't ask you. The guy she asked did mind 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Well to be more specific, he didn't mind. His wife did!

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 19:12

LiveLaughCryalot · 30/03/2024 19:09

Erm, I wouldn't have minded you asking me this at all. A little perplexed at some of more venomous replies here. There is not one doubt in my mind that had you posted from his perspective you would have been called a selfish, inconsiderate arsehole for not meekly handing the sandwich over to the man.
You don't ask, you don't get!

Irrelevant, since she didn't ask you. The guy she asked did mind 🤷🏻‍♀️

LiveLaughCryalot · 30/03/2024 19:12

Just to add though, I wouldn't think twice about telling you to piss off if I really fancied a cheese sandwich 😁

LiveLaughCryalot · 30/03/2024 19:09

Erm, I wouldn't have minded you asking me this at all. A little perplexed at some of more venomous replies here. There is not one doubt in my mind that had you posted from his perspective you would have been called a selfish, inconsiderate arsehole for not meekly handing the sandwich over to the man.
You don't ask, you don't get!

ArcticOwl · 30/03/2024 19:07

Weird replies.

I wouldn't have minded if you'd asked.. i'd have told you no.. i'm not veggie, but cheese sandwiches are usually the only ones i can eat because most others are slathered in mayo or mustard or some other spread shite i can't stand, so there wouldn't have been any other option there for me.

Your 'philosophy' doesn't trump my preferences and tastes, sorry.

Stickysusan · 30/03/2024 19:06

Entitled and rude

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 19:03

MummaMummaJumma · 30/03/2024 19:02

And him and Rachel were ON A BREAK!!

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Yup.
(There was a gif but it didn't post - comment was more interesting that just 'yup' ).

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 19:02

WhamBamThankU · 30/03/2024 18:39

I'm a vegetarian and genuinely think veganism has ruined 'our' food (if you feel vegan food belongs to your group). I don't want cheeze with a z in it. In sandwiches, on burgers or Mac and cheese etc.

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I'm an omnivore but have to agree - there's lots of vegetarian food I enjoy but when it is made suitable for vegans a lot of it becomes much less appealing. Vegan cheese is rank, for example.

BloodyAdultDC · 30/03/2024 19:02

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:16

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

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Still a preference though innit.

GF isn't a choice though it's a medical dietary requirement.

Ywbvu

MummaMummaJumma · 30/03/2024 19:02

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 19:00

That actually WAS his sandwich though...😉

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And him and Rachel were ON A BREAK!!

CurlewKate · 30/03/2024 19:00

An adult going"batshit" at another adult for a trivial reason is weird, though.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 19:00

Volbeat · 30/03/2024 18:56

OP, are you Ross Gellar?

MY SANDWICH!!!

That actually WAS his sandwich though...😉

Jk987 · 30/03/2024 18:58

Just have a salad or banana or go to Greggs. Don't ask a stranger for their lunch!