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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

684 replies

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

OP posts:
Lost019 · 31/03/2024 00:18

doingitbythebookthistime · 30/03/2024 13:06

YABU, snooze ya lose.

This was my exact thought when reading!

sprigatito · 31/03/2024 00:16

Philosophy 😂😂😂

Priceless.

ClemmyTine · 31/03/2024 00:13

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 00:10

People who don't share the exact same view as you are 'idiots'?
You sound as rude and entitled as the OP.

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She's my alter ego.

stayathomer · 31/03/2024 00:11

I’d have handed it over op, I don’t think it’s that big a deal, you didn’t grab it out of his hand like the bread and toilet roll fights of Covid times!

HonorGold · 31/03/2024 00:10

Op: AIBU.?
everyone: yep, and also entitled
OP: OMG I am such a MONSTER…..

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 00:10

ClemmyTine · 31/03/2024 00:06

I don't think it was cheeky or rude. If you had asked me I wouldn't have been put out.. Im not saying i would have swapped but I wouldnt be upset.
It would have been rude to snatch it from him, spit on it and said ' ha, its mine now'

I honestly don't know why anyone would think that it was rude to ask.

The ones that think it's rude no doubt don't answer the door when they're not expecting anyone.

Idiots.

People who don't share the exact same view as you are 'idiots'?
You sound as rude and entitled as the OP.

ForestBather · 31/03/2024 00:08

Ramalangadingdong · 30/03/2024 23:57

And why would he have to give op a reason for keeping the sandwich he’d chosen?

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Exactly, he shouldn't. I usually bring my own food because I can't trust anything I can have will be available, but if this sandwich happened to fit the bill, I don't owe them an explanation of my personal health.

I can say no but the problem is that some people can't and would feel cornered if asked. Hence, first in first served.

ClemmyTine · 31/03/2024 00:06

I don't think it was cheeky or rude. If you had asked me I wouldn't have been put out.. Im not saying i would have swapped but I wouldnt be upset.
It would have been rude to snatch it from him, spit on it and said ' ha, its mine now'

I honestly don't know why anyone would think that it was rude to ask.

The ones that think it's rude no doubt don't answer the door when they're not expecting anyone.

Idiots.

IloveAslan · 31/03/2024 00:04

If I wanted a particular type of sandwich and someone took the last one I would just go without, I wouldn't dream of asking them to let me have it. It was rude of you to ask him to hand over his sandwich, and I'm sorry but you being vegetarian has nothing to do with it. YABVU.

cherish123 · 31/03/2024 00:02

@Xmasbaby11 exactly

cherish123 · 31/03/2024 00:00

You were rude. Don't be so entitled. Even if he wasn't vegetarian, maybe he wanted cheese. He got there first. He wife/girlfriend was right to stick up for him.

Ramalangadingdong · 30/03/2024 23:57

mirax · 30/03/2024 21:31

Except you werent all that airy when given actual feedback were you? You ignored the woman who spoke up too, using her voice and felt angry. You left the couple with a passive aggressive dig. You are not a monster of course, not a single pp said that, so this is another deflection of yours.

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And why would he have to give op a reason for keeping the sandwich he’d chosen?

Agentdanascullyx · 30/03/2024 23:55

I’d of had no problem letting you have it, you can either say yes or no

ForestBather · 30/03/2024 23:23

First in, first served. I'd have said no, having been lucky enough to find something that fits with my restricted diet, but wouldn't like being put on the spot for your preferences when my medical need (that I don't have to explain to you) limits my own options and isn't a choice.

surreygirl1987 · 30/03/2024 23:19

Having flashbacks to Ross from Friends: 'My sandwich?? MYYY SANDWICH???'

surreygirl1987 · 30/03/2024 23:17

HonorGold · 30/03/2024 23:12

..which is in actual fact your preference.

you choosing to restrict your diet doesn’t mean every one needs to bend of backwards for you. I’ve never heard such entitled behaviour.

Edited
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Exactly this! It IS a preference! You have made a choice and you prefer not to eat meat. Bizarre that you can't see that!

Xmasbaby11 · 30/03/2024 23:16

YABU, sorry. It doesn't matter if he was vegetarian or not - he's chosen the cheese sandwich! It's frustrating but I'm not sure if there's any polite way to ask a shopper to give up what they've chosen!

I'm v picky about prepared sandwiches - I don't like mayo or a lot of the typical combos - but I don't have any dietary needs. I wouldn't change my choice and I'd be annoyed to feel obliged to explain my sandwich choice to a random.

surreygirl1987 · 30/03/2024 23:16

Medsy · 30/03/2024 17:57

Yes I'm clearly an absolute fucking MONSTER!!!!111

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You know, your reactions like this are making you come across worse. You WERE incredibly selfish and entitled. I thought it was a made-up thread at first actually. But being sarcastic like that towards people who've called you out on what the vast majority of people appear to perceive as pretty appalling behaviour just makes me wonder what the point of your thread was, if you're not going to listen to the answers.

I am quite mortified for you as well, as a previous poster said. Is this sort of thing a one-off, or do you have form for entitled behaviour?

ArthurWrightus · 30/03/2024 23:15

Medsy · 30/03/2024 16:52

Well clearly I live on another planet (duly accepted!) because I actually feel the complete opposite to you. I find it concerning and sad to live in a society where someone can't politely, in a friendly way and applying no pressure, ask if there's any chance someone would be okay with swapping sandwiches. It's hardly "Hey do you mind if I take a dump un your basket?" is it?
He could have said "actually I'm veggie too" or "actually I've been really craving a cheese sandwich, sorry!" and I would have said no problem! Or he might have said "sure, I was torn between that and the chicken coronation anyway so knock yourself out".

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If it's any consolation OP, I'm not veggie and if you'd asked me if there was a meat version I would consider I would have been happy to give it to you. I can't have pork so if that had been the only one left I would have said sorry I can't have what's left either. But if there was a nice turkey and cranberry I would definitely have swapped. If you ask politely I'm not sure why people give others 'a mouthful of abuse' instead of 'no sorry'.

HonorGold · 30/03/2024 23:12

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:16

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

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..which is in actual fact your preference.

you choosing to restrict your diet doesn’t mean every one needs to bend of backwards for you. I’ve never heard such entitled behaviour.

DahliaRose3 · 30/03/2024 23:02

I think it’s fine, his wife going crazy, I really don’t understand that.

It’s a sandwich at the end of the day, not the end of the world. I wouldn’t have minded. Also the man can say no, imagine that, so everyone losing their minds can just relax!

confuseeedd · 30/03/2024 23:01

That's really cheeky and unnecessary.

You could have bought a loaf and some cheese slices seeing as you were in a supermarket.

Beasmum4 · 30/03/2024 23:00

SmokedPaprikaPuffs · 30/03/2024 21:10

I'm vegetarian and way too socially awkward to ever ask this of a stranger. I maybe would have asked a friend I was with but not just a random man who happened to take a sandwich first.
The wife having a go is funny, bet she's still going on about it now.

It’s a matter of time before someone with too much bank holiday time on their hands pretends to be the enraged wife and writes a post after too many Easter wines.

KomodoOhno · 30/03/2024 22:52

I am cringing. YABU

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 22:35

DodoTired · 30/03/2024 22:31

I can’t believe the indignation here. She just ASKED. Don’t ask - don’t get. He could have said no. Is the issue that people just can’t imagine saying no??

I'd have no issue saying no.
I would be wondering what on earth makes her think she's more entitled to the sandwich than me, the person who has already picked it up, though
Others have already given examples where randomly asking some folk may create difficulties.