Dss doesn’t want to take part in Easter egg hunt

I think this nails it. I don’t see any reason to punish him by not letting him game, or turning off the Wi-Fi - that’s just petty. If he’s aware that not taking part in the egg hunt means he won’t get any of the extra goodies hidden, and he still doesn’t want to take part, then he’s made an informed choice according to his own priorities. Nothing wrong with that.

Lots of very petty people here just looking to cause conflict, I think. Turning the WiFi off? Insisting he either join the egg hunt or not be allowed to do what he wants instead? This is the kind of thing a petty dictator who wants to throw their weight around does, not someone who cares if their child is happy.

People saying he needs to come down because guests are coming- they aren't his guests! He didn't invite them, and if he could choose I'm sure they wouldn't be there at all! So why does he have to come down and socialise with them?

My teen is lovely! She often would prefer to be hidden away but knows that sometimes we have to be good hosts and not be rude. It is fun, but not in the way you meant.

I give a lot of leeway to my children but sometimes it's about knowing how to behave in polite society.

I'd say he doesn't need to join in if he feels too old for it but if it were me I also wouldn't allow him to isolate himself in his room and play video games the whole time.
How antisocial and unhealthy when you have guests over.

he has an obsession with junk food and I’m trying to limited

He knows he is overweight, and may be secretly self conscious about it.

I bet he knows you are trying to stop him eating junk food.

So he probably feels v conflicted and ‘anti’ this egg hunt.

Have you given him an Easter egg? Surely you give your kids an egg and not as a reward for taking party in an activity?

Fine, if he doesn’t hunt and find hidden eggs he doesn’t get them to eat, but why wouldn’t you give him one of the boxed mini eggs that none of them have hunted for and found?

That sounds spiteful

He’s at an awkward age. Which may last some time.

I haven't got children, so you got that wrong too. I've been a child though, and I wasn't allowed to behave like this lad.

Also, you need to look up what 'gross' means because you seem to have got that wrong as well.

HTH.

You wouldn't sit outside in the sun for long here it's bloody freezing.

He shouldn't be made to chat to people if he doesn't want to - it's not his visitors or guests, and the OP hasn't said that he was able to have friends of his own choice there as well.

I would hate if I was made to socialise with people I didn't have any choice of having in my home.

And you’ve got parenting problems. Well, more so your child do. You sound awful.

You've clearly got reading comprehension problems. I didn't say he had to join in, I said he doesn't get to sit in his room game if he doesn't want to join in.

There are plenty of other things he could do, such as chat to people, read a book sit outside in the sun and watch.

No - it’s the MN Sheeple who assume that if you don’t want to indulge your stepchilds’ every whim, you must hate them !!

Absolutely fine to not take part, but agree you don’t get the extra eggs if you don’t want to participate. That’s fair enough at 11

My 22 year old, 20 year old and 17 year old don't want to do an egg hunt either, but my 13 year old has asked for one. I assume I must turn off the wifi and force the boys to come and stand around watching their sibling? And also she must be the only one to get any eggs?

Honestly people are weird on here sometimes. You can't force people to do something fun. It stops being fun if you have made it obligatory and punished them for not joining in.

Kids grow out of things. This happens at different ages. And it's perfectly normal.

Vile attitude, and awful parenting to punish a child for not wanting to join in.

That’s not cool. Forcing your child to join in when they don’t want to is cruel. So gross.

but you'd still "punish him" by turning off the wifi?

exactly this

definitely, he doesn't get to sit in his room gaming if he doesn't want to join in

If you are seriously concerned about his weight, why would you do an easter egg hunt anyway and why would you place a value on stuff you'd rather he didn't have?

They aren’t his guests though. I think it’s worse manners to force a child to do something they don’t want (in this case, socialising.) I know I’d have found twenty guests totally overwhelming at that age and would have got really anxious if I hadn’t been allowed to go to my room.

Of course he won't get them if he doesn't hunt for them. That's the deal. If there's any left from the hunt and he asks, you could jokingly hide them again in the house and say, you'll still have to find it! He may feel to grown up for egg hunting and eggs in general. He might be happy with a chocolate bar at a later date and would rather chat to his mates or game (dk why that's so bad).

I'd give him the small egg everyone is getting but the others are for people who hunt only.

I'd give him the small egg everyone is getting but the others are for people who hunt only.

At 11 I would have been embarrassed to take part in an Easter Egg hunt. He will see it as babyish. I would give him a mini eggs boxed egg. After all the other children are just being given that.

I wouldn't personally be linking a food "reward" to participation. If he's overweight he might already be eating in a disordered way and it will lead him to link good behavior & food. I would tell him you are turning the wifi off that day, it's not time for gaming. You'd love to have him around, everyone was looking forward to seeing him but if he wishes to stay in his room you understand. Ask him is he ok or was he worried about talking to people. Let him know you are there to help him with his worries or whatever way you can. Give him the mini boxed egg regardless of what he does.

Yep, sorry see what you mean about PP’s. But I would see this in terms of earning the treats. The requirement is that to get the treats the kids take part in the game and find them. He doesn’t want to take part, so the natural consequence of that is no extra treats.

Really?
Are you psychic?