AIMB to embrace the grey?

I'm 51 and have been grey for about 4 years now. It's bliss not having to colour it every 6 weeks and it's in the best condition it's been in decades. It's also long, I do have to be careful it doesn't get too long - other wise I start to look a bit like a scarecrow, and it is a bit more wirey, but I am 51, embracing it and I love it.

How about because it was insulting and ageist?

These threads always go in a depressing, ridiculous direction, and I find it so rude.

Person A:
I’m thinking about going grey. Should I?

Person B/C/D:
Give it a go! I did and I have no regrets - I like it and I’ve found it actually suits me. Plus it’s really low maintenance. You can always go back to dye if you hate it. Win win!

Person E/F/G:
Anyone with grey hair is deluding themselves if they think they don’t look dreadful… You look absolutely ancient and totally undesirable now… It’s inconceivable that it could EVER look nice on anyone because my neighbour let her hair go grey and now she’s a total hag… Anyone posting a nice picture is lying and has dyed it… Anyone who says anything nice to you is either a) only saying it out of pity (do you actually believe them, you idiot…?!?) or b) imaginary, because how could anyone genuinely say anything nice about grey hair when it’s OBVIOUSLY awful and everyone around you secretly thinks the same…

Some people clearly judge others for ignoring conventional beauty standards while daring to still feel good about themselves. The fact that so many people automatically equate natural grey with giving up is just laughable - I see
loads of stylish grey haired ladies around me, starting around the mid 30s mark. They rock it. It’s just another hair colour. It doesn’t make them look older - they look their age, just with grey hair.

So… big high five to everyone who does what they want with their appearance, just because they feel like it. Dying your hair doesn’t make you live any longer.

I’m 43 and got white hairs as auburn. Auburn hair doesn’t go grey!

I saw a former colleague (she retired 12 years ago) with hair coloured to a deep red. She looked ill as her skin tone is naturally gets pale. She was 72.

Your hair is gorgeous - cut & colour. You've got a lovely face too.

I started going grey at 21. My mum was 17. It happens. It's taken me twenty years to get to the point I'm mostly grey. I don't think it's at all unusual for women in their 30s and 40s to have significant amounts of grey, we're just used to them covering it all up for years.

This is my hair now. I last had a t-section of highlights done a year ago, which you can see the remnants of at the top, but underneath it's all me.

Nearly 45 and the last time I coloured my hair was 2019, I think? Started getting a few grey hairs in my early 30s.

I've had everything over the years - bleached blonde, pillarbox red, rainbow undercut, blue balayage - but I got bored. It's a lot of upkeep.

I don't have massive amounts of grey - I have naturally dark brown hair - aside from a rather cool mallen streak and some 'sparkles'. My hair is also naturally curly, so the grey isn't quite as obvious as it would be on somebody with very straight hair.

I DO tint my eyebrows, though. Those little fuckers can fuck off.

The lighting can completely change how the colour looks! And I don't seem to have any with it down and easy to see the colours. I'd say the up do photo is closest to how it looks in natural light, the other photo was taken in very yellow/warm light.

@Berlinlover what you said was very rude and misogynistic.

Grey hair looks much so better than the dyed alternative, in the same way that an expressive face with laughter lines is more beautiful than one frozen by Botox.

Getting older - and, shock, looking older - is no bad thing. We're taught to be dismissive and fearful of older women. Laughing in the face of that is such a powerful thing.

I’ve read a lot worse on here.

Lots of people I know grew out their dyes during covid and never went back.

i am grey/white at the front and a darker salt and pepper at the back, so I get fine grey/silver highlights 3-4 times a year to even it out a bit.

I went fully Greg at 49 . I just couldn't be bothered to dye it every week . I've never regretted it ever . The front is pure white and as you can see it's down to my bra strap . Not witchy at all , more Galadriel.

Well it was incredibly rude. Maybe that?

I’ve no idea why my post was deleted.

You could be me! But you have better hair. It looks fabulous. Mine was also black and started to go grey in my teens. It is now long, wavy and silvery grey - unless I straighten it, in which case it looks good for approximately 5 minutes, then starts to go frizzy.

Finally, as I said before, I am struggling to fathom why random people are running up to all these white/grey haired women and gushing over their grey/white hair colour. I have literally never known of, or seen that happen.

@SabreIsMyFave - I’ve had numerous women (both older and younger than me) at the gym and pool ask me when in the changing rooms - usually it’s “where do you get your colour done?” Silver with thin streaks of pewter costs a lot of money apparently

Even some male friends, whom I would not call terribly observant, commented on my “great new colour.”

Maybe you only spend time around women who aren’t confident in their natural colour, or maybe you’re unobservant. Possibly you’re just too judgmental for grey and silver haired women to spend time around willingly.

Lots of people look great with their natural hair colour.

Beautifully cut, well cared for hair will get compliments and I also think if it is grey and shining people will remark. I think that going grey in your 30s and 40s will make you look older but once you get to your 50's and beyond , coloured hair doesn't magically make anyone look younger.

I’ve broken all the ‘rules’. I embraced the grey years ago and when I discovered I had ringletty curls I grew it to nearly waist length.

Don’t care about looking older as I am older. Don’t care what people who spend hours and £££ on blending their greys in feel about it as I don’t care what they do with their hair and I’d like that courtesy reciprocated. Don’t think I’ll be cutting or dyeing it any time soon

I saw my first grey hair in my naturally black hair at 17. My hair has been coloured for decades. It’s never looked natural but at least it does now

I used the lockdown periods to go grey gracefully (try saying that three times at speed!). It's in good condition and actually growing really long now, I'd forgotten how fast my hair grows when I don't have 8wkly hairdresser trips!

I've had compliments from very young women who are dying their hair a similar colour. Many assume mine is naturally platinum blonde. There are always people pointing me out and asking for my colour when I'm at the hairdresser's. They are always told it can't be dyed that colour, it has too many natural tones to it. I hate that these threads always attract women who like to put other women down. What a shame they don't have the confidence to wear their own natural hair or post their pictures here when criticising others. Mine is in fabulous condition now I don't dye it, thick, full and wavy. I love it and don't need anyone telling me I look old or I'm too young to wear it as it naturally grows. I'm interested in fashion, know what suits me, dress well and hold myself with confidence and certainty don't present as an old woman.

I think compliments come if people see lovely coloured well cared for hair, that suits the person, regardless of that colour

Finally, as I said before, I am struggling to fathom why random people are running up to all these white/grey haired women and gushing over their grey/white hair colour. I have literally never known of, or seen that happen.

I'm guessing the comments are coming from other women of a similar age who are considering their options. I have no intention of going grey yet but I have sincerely complimented my mum's neighbour and a woman my own age at work on their beautiful silver hair. Turns out they both help it a bit, which is useful to know for the future.

When you are younger you just assume old people have grey hair and it requires no comment. When you get to that age you suddenly start noticing successful and unsuccessful grey hair looks.

I stopped dying mine around 10 years ago in my late thirties. There were a lot of negative comments while I was doing it but nothing negative since, I do get a lot of positive comments now, often from strangers. I went from very dark brown to almost white. My skin is a pale olive but with cool pinky tones and I have green eyes. Red lipstick and bright coloured clothes work well on me.

Same here - fair pinkish tone skin, grey-green eyes, original hair colour was mid/darkish brown. My grey hair doesn't wash me out at all (the purple shampoo helps). I haven't even changed the colours I wear - autumn colours, reds, pinks, blues, greens, purples, the lot. I do try to have some strong colour in whatever I'm wearing on any given day.

Hair tonight (unbrushed since this morning) under warm electric light.

Strange take. I of course didn’t go completely white between 35-40. I started going grey in my teens and dyed my hair for 20 years before being completely fed up and depressed at how awful my hair looked with constant white roots no matter how often I coloured it.

Evidence should you so desire it.