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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Keeping sons money

85 replies

Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:10

I am a mother to a DS with disabilities. He's turned 18 and gets pip. I've been giving him an allowance from his pip money and saving the rest for him in an account of mine that I don't use. It's accrued a nice amount for his future but here is where I wonder if IABU.
I wanted to open him an ISA in his own name but I know he's probably going to need to claim UC in the near future and it would disqualify him as its over 16k
That PIP money is given because of the difficulty he has in life. I've saved it up for him so that he will have a bit of a buffer because he is more likely to need it than someone who can easily get work etc.
I don't like having his money in my name but I don't see another option. AIBU for keeping this money but earmarked for him. Obviously it would be complicated if I die as my other DC would technically be entitled to half. Arrggh my mind is all over the place. I just want to do everything possible to help my DS. Please be kind. He is entitled to the PIP and could have spent it all every month. Perhaps that's my mistake.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 30/03/2024 08:27

The PIP (in theory) is meant to cover additional costs due to his disability.

Are there additional costs? Could be wheelchairs, stools for showers, a car if he can't get the bus, support for mental health needs.

Have you been paying the costs yourself?

Original poster
Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:26

Some good advice here thank you. He has about 6k in his name which he inherited when he was a tot. That's tucked away and he's not able to access it. So I guess I could open him an ISA for maybe another 7 or 8k which would get some of it into his own name but stay under the 16k. He's not able to manage his own money so I'll need to administer it all for him for now at least. The amount I've saved at this point could easily get gobbled up if he's unable to get work for a period of time or in an emergency. It's not much over the 16k but he has that 6ish thousand in savings already to consider.

OP posts:
colouredball · 30/03/2024 08:24

Honestly? No you shouldn't be squirrelling away his money so he can claim further benefits. The disability factor really isn't too relevant here, having someone hold on to a load of savings in their name so you can claim UC is fraud. It is an unfortunate situation, but the reality is people should not be claiming benefits if they have huge amounts of savings.

MarieG10 · 30/03/2024 08:23

Piggybankme · 30/03/2024 08:10

I am a mother to a DS with disabilities. He's turned 18 and gets pip. I've been giving him an allowance from his pip money and saving the rest for him in an account of mine that I don't use. It's accrued a nice amount for his future but here is where I wonder if IABU.
I wanted to open him an ISA in his own name but I know he's probably going to need to claim UC in the near future and it would disqualify him as its over 16k
That PIP money is given because of the difficulty he has in life. I've saved it up for him so that he will have a bit of a buffer because he is more likely to need it than someone who can easily get work etc.
I don't like having his money in my name but I don't see another option. AIBU for keeping this money but earmarked for him. Obviously it would be complicated if I die as my other DC would technically be entitled to half. Arrggh my mind is all over the place. I just want to do everything possible to help my DS. Please be kind. He is entitled to the PIP and could have spent it all every month. Perhaps that's my mistake.

Agree to keep in your name, but when in an ISA suggest you look at investment funds. It is for the long term and holding cash will mean minimal growth

sorrynotathome · 30/03/2024 08:23

Keeping the money so that he can claim UC is probably fraud.

BookWorm45 · 30/03/2024 08:19

Is he able to manage his own money ? (depending on the type of disability) or would he always need someone else to manage this for him during the whole of his life ?
Or is it a case that he's just not very familiar with the concept of having his own savings account ?

If it's the second option - could he open an ISA for himself and you transfer a smaller sum (not the total of over £16k) so he can start to get familiar with the idea ?

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 30/03/2024 08:18

You might want to organise a trust fund for him that is managed by yourself and someone else you can trust, or you can hire someone to do it but that costs money.

Trust funds that need permission for the benefactor to access the money dont count as income for the £16k benefit limit.

ExpressCheckout · 30/03/2024 08:16

Yes, I was thinking a Trust. Either way, if it's quite a lot of money (which it sounds to be) then it would be worth employing an Independent Financial Advisor at this point. This would help you to address in advance a lot of potential issues, not just the one you're writing about here. I'm in no way rich, but I've had an IFA for years now, and it's been very helpful indeed.

Take a look here: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/best-financial-advisers/

MiddleagedBeachbum · 30/03/2024 08:12

Just make sure your other children know and it’s in the will that it’s his, I’m sure his siblings would understand?

Anameisaname · 30/03/2024 08:12

It sounds like the best thing is to keep it in your name for him and then update your will to specify that money is for him so it doesn't get split
Alternatively you can look into a trust for him? But I don't know how that affects UC