To find my parents increasingly difficult to host

You haven’t got space for them to stay overnight. It’s really that simple. So either they drive there and back in a day or someone pays for hotel / local Airbnb.

@PurpleWhirple not wanting someone sleeping on your sofa is not weird. I wouldn’t let a house guest sleep on any of my sofas. Two are velvet and one is leather and I wouldn’t want anybody lying sleeping on them. Bodies sweat and so on, even through bed linen. I appreciate people sit on them but it’s not the same as sleeping and their fully clothed. The thought gives me massive ick.

I have the same guest dilemma but minus the DH and DC!

A two hour drive isn't that far for a day trip. We simply didn't have space for my parents to stay without significant inconvenience to everyone (4 kids, 4 bedroom house) so they used to just come for the day.

We're visiting them tomorrow and again, we'll just be there for the day. It's simpler too because no need to pack or make up beds.

It's their issue. I wouldn't give it another thought.

Not a fun conversation, but I think you need to make it clear that if you'd prefer neither of them sleeping on the sofa, but if they do for whatever reason, they'll just have to get woken up with the earliest riser (I.e., the baby). I don't think realistically a few nights of having someone sleeping on it will knacker the sofa to be honest (unless they are staying weekly!) so I think DHs fears there are unfounded. But basically, if you choose to not sleep in the room you've got for sleeping, you don't get to dictate family life in that room!

I have the same problem with my parents who have to sleep separately so it’s impossible to have them to stay, despite a four bed house. They also book 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom accommodation on holiday. My solution is just for us to go to them instead!

Because he's a caring, decent person who.doesnt want elderly people sleeping on a sofa!!!

No he's not, he's a weirdo who thinks people shouldn't sleep on his sofa as it will get worn 🙄

So sorry OP. The problem isn’t yours to fix. There clearly an issue with your parents. Who doesn’t sleep all night because their DH took all the covers. You’d just take them back! What is wrong that your mum couldn’t wake your dad to get some cover the first time. As for the second time being on the couch, I agree that would drive me nuts too. You need to speak to your mum and ask her what’s going on with her and your dad.

I would revert to letting them sleep in the guest room. Ask your DM discretely if they would stay in the guest room if it was two singles, and ideally get that.

If someone is in the living room then when the DCs get up early let them get their toys out and switch on the TV in the living room, make the point that it's not a bedroom. Or just live with it and get a fold out single for the living room.

Because he's a caring, decent person who.doesnt want elderly people sleeping on a sofa!!!

I would personally if it helped, I see the premier inn as a really cheap spare room. Way cheaper than buying a bigger house.

That said my family members/ in laws would expect to pick up their own premier inn bill because they aren’t tight either.

Could one of them have insomnia, not unusual as people age. Generally the best advice is to get up and go elsewhere until feel tired again, perhaps she just fell asleep. Although two hours doesn't sound like a long drive, it is four hours there and back and as people get older their safe driving range often decreases a bit too. I am not sure what the solution is but do your parents know that dh doesn't like them sleeping on the sofa? How often do you visit them? Can you sleep there? Unfortunately as they get older it will probably increasingly be you visiting them unless they can move nearer to you.

You haven’t got space to host people who require decent beds and struggle to share a bed / room. You have no spare room.
I agree with DH about the sofa being a no.

Unless you feel comfortable to give them yours bed and sleeping on a fold out bed , they can’t stay.

It’s a bit off topic (and not terribly helpful) but it really irritates me, when I’m hosting, when houseguests won’t stay in the rooms they have been given. It’s disruptive to come downstairs and find that people have spread themselves all over the house.

This

It’s a bit off topic (and not terribly helpful) but it really irritates me, when I’m hosting, when houseguests won’t stay in the rooms they have been given. It’s disruptive to come downstairs and find that people have spread themselves all over the house.

If the parents are frugal then they need to stay in the room they’ve been given. Otherwise they can stay in a hotel (if you have one nearby - I know this isn’t always the case).

Why should OP pay?

Could you book them a twin room
in a premier inn. Cheaper if you book in advance. Would you be able to pay?

They sound quite selfish and difficult. They need to offer solutions. Not make the life of a new mum more challenging.

i would ask them if they want a trundle bed?

Definitely time for a hotel/Premier Inn if they’re causing such disruption

Most older people sleep separately. Speaking with experience here: there comes a time in a woman’s life when she no longer wants to put up with a man’s restless legs syndrome, his snoring, flailing about, grunting. In Scandinavia, it’s normal - people have separate duvets.

Just tell them it's not working out and you don't have room. My parents insist on separate beds and ideally rooms. We don't have the space. They stay at a hotel.

In the case of your parents, two hours is a day trip, especially if they share the driving. No real need for them to stay the night if it's such a headache. Or meet in the middle.

Ok so I would just say with baby and night wakings me and baby now sleep separately from husband (We did this so one person got sleep and took turns with partner doing Fri and Sat) which means we can't host at the current time we have a local premier inn and we can see you from after breakfast through to dinner

So basically you would host them during the day but it gives everyone a chance at sleep (except sadly the person on nights with baby)

Further down the line we got trundle beds for our daughter's room so when guest came we had 2 singles, if for some reason they can't sleep in the same room even though in separate beds it's easier to pick up and move

I agree with the DH. Sleeping on people's sofas is wrong.