To think more people WFH with DC than let on

Maybe they should think about this before having children. It’s taking the piss to think you have a right to be paid to work but be looking after your children.

No you can't and I don't believe it's commonplace unless it's emergency or their child being sick and they temporarily do that or the child is teenager.
Especially if the child is younger than school age, I feel it's wrong because you can't give the attention they want and probably you might put them in front of the TV until you finish your work. You might end up feeling like a bad mum and probably the child would sense that they're not their mum's priority. I think it's just wrong to work with your child. If the main tasks at work are relatively simple or sporadically need attention then it might be possible but you might make a mistake when the child all of sudden started to nag or etc... However if you can manage your tasks then it'd be fine. So there's no absolute no but I personally find it difficult and wouldn't want to do it.

There are often posts on here from people saying their boss wants them in the office 3 days a week, having been previously WFH, and they’re wondering what to do about child care. Clearly the implication is that currently they look after their own kids, while WFH. It pisses me off. This is probably why it takes an hour for HMRC etc to answer the phone. The staff are too busy singing Wheels on the Bus and doing the school run!

I manage a team of 10. As long as people get their work done well on time, I don’t care when or how they do it.

Yes, he does it in the morning following the school run. His employer is happy for him to block that time out.

I will take him to the park or walk during my lunch break. I work from 7-3 so am done fairly early anyway.

As I mentioned up thread this set up works for one day when we are both home. Clearly it wouldnt work all week and not once have I suggested it does or would.

The rest of the week I am in the office or work from home alone. DH is the same, office or home alone.

I really am struggling to see how this is impossible to some.

Neither of us are work shy, 'marked' out for being poor at our jobs or failing to progress. I have already mentioned that I recently had a promotion.

Frankly, the more senior you get the more flexible you are able to be.

In many office based jobs there is an unhealthy obsession with hours worked vs actual output - surely you are paid to do your job description and hit whatever targets are set / attend all meetings and calls you need to. If you are doing that, why do the exact hours you spend at a desk / sat by a screen matter?

I agree with this. So your DH’s employers are happy that your son is being taken swimming during his working time? Or to the park? The only possible things he could do at the park would be work related, reply to emails on his phone etc. my current boss is in the office 4 days a week, 1 wfh and has a day off every 2 weeks. But during those days he’s fully engaged with his work as are most of the people under him. And that’s how it should be.

100% this but often they just don’t see this.

Yes, we all want to save on childcare, spend more time with our children, CoL crisis is affecting us all but working from home isn’t the answer. My SIL thank god has never wfh or only during lockdowns, and she always sends her children to nursery and if need be works at weekends or night to make up hours if she does need to come home during the day. She’s very conscientious though.

But there’s getting the work done or getting the work done and effectively. A few parents I know do the work but not much else. One DM I know right now for the past year, her son has been diagnosed with a stomach condition which she has and requires hospital visits. She works for central government so luckily can get the time off work (it’s a lot) but she used to work for a private corporate company and wants to do that again as it’s more money and her ex SO (and father of her kids doesn’t pay maintenance) nor does he see his DC etc. I tried to tell her nicely, a private corporate company will not be happy offering a hybrid working model as well as allowing you endless time off (and not making it up) or having to rush home to your child (he’s 12). I get the feeling she’ll try to wing her job if she get a new one outside government.

My direct report works from home when essential with a 7yo.
She gets the job done but is frequently absent for quick fire questions over teams.
I WFH when I have to with an under 2 yo. I.e, Ill and can't go to nursery.

I'm lucky that my employer is very flexible and understanding. However. I am beyond stressed on those days. I am NOT ad productive, and I am a shite parent.

I can see why the odd day would work with older kids, but not under 6/7 min in my profession.

I worked for someone who during lockdown had an almost one year old at home. He slept and ate and she got work done during his nap times but as he got nearer to one he was more active and then I’d find she was offline or she’d have to go to see to him in the middle of our work call. When he was just after one years old she sent him to nursery as she knew the people she worked with/for knew she worked with a baby but could see her mind wasn’t on her work with him around. I don’t know why she was allowed to do this in the first place. Then I work with others who are “offline” or “away” from 3pm. They say they come back to work later or in the evenings but how many do?

I am not obsessed with anything of the sort. I never described your job as easy or pointless and I never said you were bad at it. I also didn't suggest you were terrible parents or scarring him for life. You have manufactured all of that.

You have responded to my post where I said that WFH with young children was unfair on the kids because they are often left to their devices too much and aren't taken out of the house enough. You then used the example of your Friday where you and your DH take presumably hours out of the working day to take him swimming or to the park and how there might be a little screen time peppered in there but also plenty of interaction. I stand by my assertion that during these days you either are understating how much independent time your child has or you are spending a lot of time not working. I don't know about your personal setup, the agreement that you have with your employer and how much work you cram into the rest of the week so it is totally possible that you can have a more 'flexible' Friday that isn't reflective of the rest of the week but then this is a bit niche in the whole WFH with kids discussion. Most people won't have employers that are happy for them to spend this amount of the working day focussing on their child and not actually working. Parents attempting to adopt your Friday schedule everyday of the week will run into all kinds of problems, both at work and with their child.

We do it, but very rarely. Realistically there isn’t much DC can do aside from crafts, watch film, bit of easimaths/reading, playing, trampoline. 6-8 hours of that is alot. If we have had loads of activities then DD is wiped out so will happily have a quiet day and leave us to it. We have breaks of course, getting snacks/drinks an hour for lunch to play. We don’t have to report to anyone as such, trusted to manage a workload/delegate.
Neither of us have contact with the public when wfh. DH is a Finance Director and I lead an intelligence/fraud team.

It will depend on your industry.

We have both had several promotions but I think it helps that we haven't dropped down to 2-3 days or anything and that we are flexible when required - e.g. I worked my non working day this week for something important and arranged childcare

I do in the sense that I have the flexibility to work 5am-9am, then 7pm-11pm when I have a childcare issue rather than the traditional working hours. Knackering and not a long term plan but if you have a similar flexibility it is possible.

Anyone suggesting they can be sole care of a toddler and working at the exact same.time is lying though

I might do this in future. Possibly when we have our next DC, as I don't think we will manage a day WFH with two little ones.

We do have parents in my team who have official flexible working policies in place - barely in the office and do their work around school hours. However I have seen these people's progression halt. One just got turned down for a promotion.

Maybe I'm being too worried about it, but everyone in our office WFH on Fridays, so I'm no different - and I also get all my work done, have just been promoted and seen as the same as everyone else. I feel like having a more formalised flexible 4 long days agreement might mean I don't progress as quickly.

Maybe I'm wrong though.

Depends on the job and if the work is getting done. I do this but I work for myself so I can

I know loads of people who do it. As long as you're getting the work done, who cares.

I'm really not sure how I am presenting myself as superior? My work is fine and my child has two parents lovingly engaged with him.

I dont think I am the only person capable of this, there have been a number of others on this thread doing the same. I haven't cracked some code. I am lucky that DH is able to do the same and we share a day with our son whilst also doing well at work

You seem weirdly obssessed with somehow proving I am shit at my really easy pointless job and failing my DS and sadling him with terrible parents who are somehow scarring him for life for wanting to spend a day with him.

Some are

But many employers are embracing modern ways of working and extending wfh and hybrid because they know it is good for recruitment and retention.

If staff are taking the 'mickey' then good management and culture should address this. No need to make backwards steps for all employees.

Can only speak with my experience - both me and DH only WFH on a Friday, have 1 toddler DC and go without childcare that day... But my DD seems very happy to chill at home after four days of busy childcare.

I've started taking her to the park for an hour in the morning before my work starts though, so she can see some nature before coming back and chilling.

She literally takes an hour in her high chair to sit and eat her food - and now refuses to let me feed her. That's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

If I wasn't working I'd just be sitting there watching her slowly eating for that time. I don't want to distract her while she's learning to feed herself. She also naps for three hours during the afternoon.

I realise not all DC are this easy - but honestly there's a lot of downtime while looking after her.

Personally, I wouldn't choose to do it with small children, because my job is quite reactive, and often needs complex problem solving at short notice.

I try to avoid it with my 6+ yo children, but do occasionally. Normally, it's when I was meant to finish at 3 (my finish time), and am still working at 4.30. So if that's fine, then doing the same at odd holiday day is also fine, IMO.

There is a real lack of childcare locally - if there was an after school club I would work full time. If I didn't have a bit of flexibility I would need to cut my hours further.

A couple of generations ago, my 10yo would be coming home to an empty house with a latch key instead.

I would assume that most people who have to do this are, in fact, providing a decent enough level of care and not just letting the kids raid the knife drawer.

LIfe isn't perfect, sometimes compromises have to be made. Parents who don't have to balance WFH with childcare occasionally will still, y'know, leave the kids to their own devices to do chores or whatever.

It's very doable for us. But our jobs are intense Mon-Thursday, and I do do more on a Thursday - late hours - to deliberately have a quieter Friday..

Out of curiosity - why not just formalise this pattern with work and get it signed off that you work 5 days compressed into 4.5 or even 4? I found this much more pleasant - I can stick my out of office on and just not think about work

No definitely not doable 5 days a week, nor on my own. But between both of us for one day it works fine.