To expect DH to shut the fuck up now?

Bloody great summary. You should come together in adversity, otherwise what's the point?

I flooded the kitchen once (stupidly plugged the sink, added fairy liquid, turned the tap on, left it to fill up and forgot about it.)

This was about 15 years ago now and my husband still reminds me "not to flood the place" whenever he sees me doing dishes

The next time he makes a mistake mention it every 10 minutes.

I realised that I used to dread telling my partner when I'd done something stupid, lost my bank card or scraped the wheels on the car (we're talking over a number of years, I'm not doing this stuff on a regular basis) and it made me think how having a partner should be 'a problem shared is a problem halved.' I felt that it was the opposite. I had the original problem to deal with and then I had his reaction to deal with. Of course, when things impact both of you it's unrealistic to not expect a a shortlived or occasional moan, but if in general it's the opposite then what's the point?

YANBU. He's a cock. If you can't expect basic kindness from your husband what the hell is going on?

@WarshipRocinante

She accidentally left something switched on in her bedroom and went out. When she got back a few hours later the house was filled with thick smoke. She rang fire brigade. Who were amazing. Fire was contained upstairs but there was smoke damage downstairs. We lost about 80% of our possessions. We moved in with in-laws for 2 months then We lived in temp accommodation for a year while the house was emptied, cleaned and redecorated/restored . We got a payout to replace furniture/clothes etc.

She's fine and no one got injured (thankfully)

What was the mistake? Because how it happened could have an impact on how annoyed your husband is.

I must say, I’m not a fan of the “I’ve said I’m sorry, now get over it” approach. Sometimes it’s hard for people to forget things.

Can we have that full story please?? Poor daughter! I hope she isn’t still feeling awful about it.

What was the mistake?

It's really annoying to have that happen. Let alone to have the other person just expect it to go away

My adult dd (accidentally) set fire to our house . We had an insurance claim of roughly a quarter of a million. We lived in temporary accommodation for a year. We did not go on about it after the initial shock. Although I still like to play we didn't start the fire by Billy Joel

Mistakes happen. You have acknowledged it he needs to let go. Maybe you need to play Calm Down by Taylor Swift

We have both made stupid mistakes that cost money to sort out. Neither of us got angry with the other or kept going on about it, in fact we reassured each other that we're just human and everyone makes mistakes (and shared the cost!)

We love each other, we aren't keeping score!

DH flooded the house recently. Pissing about with the plumbing even though he's not a plumber and I told him not to. Even though it was stupid and he was warned, I STILL didn't punish him or go on and on. H mentioned it more than me.

Partners do this; they quickly work to sort the initial emergency, work on the best solution together, and tell each other it's OK because everyone makes mistakes. They also don't have separate finances and bang on and on about paying for things separately so there's that.

Is his life very boring that basically this is the most exciting thing ever for ever? Otherwise tell him to shut the F up and move on!

Does he apologise easily when he has messed up?

How boring.

It was a simple mistake. It’s fixable and you’re fixing it.

I think initial frustration / worry about how it’s going to be fixed is a normal reaction.

This ongoing nonsense is just using a mistake as something to berate you about.

Tell him that unless he has a delorian he can be quiet.

YANBU, why is he so mean? Sounds like a bellend. Everybody makes mistakes! My husband drilled through a water pipe just before Christmas and flooded the kitchen so we had to rip up all the laminate 🙈 Didnt occur to me to feel annoyed at him! He was more gutted than I was.

Ha - I know this, I actually advise people about assistive technology as part of my job, including things that prevent baths overflowing / alert you. I do appreciate the thought though (and they are very useful things - I use Alexa now to set reminders - it takes 6 minutes to fill the bath!)

After the first time I thought "I won't be stupid enough to do that again". Turns out I was.

I'm mostly quite an intelligent and functional adult, honestly. I just get a bit absorbed in things sometimes.

Tell him you’re not sorry anymore and have started to save up to do it again just to piss him off

He sounds mean and grouchy. He needs to get over it, you’re sorting it and in the meantime - candles. I dropped a massive candle down the loo once (long story) - completely wrecked the loo and needed a whole new one. Dripped down to flat below too. Partner was fed up for about ten minutes - then saw the funny side. Life’s too short.

My ex was bad for this too. If I ever did something wrong or make a mistake, it was constant going on and on and on. Just when I thought we'd got past it, he'd randomly come out with "I just don't UNDERSTAND how you could have..." and off he would go again. Change the fucking record, mate. It drove me mad.

Remember something he had done and started mentioning how idiotic it was every 10 minutes until he gets the message

They make handy alarms for people with sight loss to alert them when the bath is near overflowing if that helps?

Why is he putting you down to other people he should be lifting you up

I flooded the bathroom as a teen, leaked into the garage onto the electric board thingy for the house. My parents are not exactly lovely, even they didn’t bring it up every five minutes.

This.

The whole point of a relationship is you support one another when stuff happens and work together to sort things out. At least it is in my book. Otherwise you may as well just be living on your own.

We all make stupid mistakes. Nobody means to. A husband and wife should support each other and accept we are all human. You won't do it again.....🙂

It's probably fair enough to gently take the mickey when talking to others - but constantly berating you is unsupportive and pointless. He needs to STFU and get on with things. God forbid he ever makes a mistake.....