To doubt he's actually 'sick' again in time for our Easter plans?

How many times total have you seen him in person?

And in January after not seeing him for 4 weeks when they were first dating, she declared they were in love (even though he was always banging on about his ex wife, that he didn't want to split with) and were wanting to try for a baby

Dump him. Waste of time

Jeez....how very GENEROUS of him..

''Monday. Maybe, if you are very very lucky , I might be feeling well enough -after all, I suffer with ASD which makes me unique!
Because of my delicate and friable nature, my needs need to be met.
^^
I may have a headache on Sunday , or feel tired, so I'm not promising anything.
I'll see how I feel, and if I'm up to it.'' &c

I remember that thread. First he wanted to cancel a date due to rain (I mean, come on) and now he is suddenly ill despite sending photos of fun activities he has been doing. Only when you ask him to meet, does he mention that he is actually ill and might not be able to meet. It is all a bit odd to be honest.

Oh, this is the guy that wanted to cancel the date as it was forecast to rain? From memory he and OP live in Scotland 🤦

Agree he doesn't sound like he is all that interested. I'd try and make alternative plans for the weekend and then, if he does say he can in fact make it, say that you weren't going to risk having nothing to do.

Please don’t be alone t his Easter if that’s not what you want, just because he’s let you down. Go back to your other plans. And yeah if it feels bad, OP, it’s not good. Sounds a bit like hard work and disappointment, or just mismatched needs/agendas.

Hmm sounds like he’s not into you and he’s waiting for you to end it

I'm sorry, I don't want to be nasty. But I am frustrated. You are playing the "pick me" dance, and he doesn't even have another woman.

ASD is NOT an excuse. And even if it is a reason, it's up to him to discuss it with you and not have you randomly making allowances that may or may not be necessary.

Great that you're going to ring fence your Sunday. But you certainly didn't say that in your original post so it sounded to me that actually, you would just be available whenever he clicks his fingers.

Wow thats a hell of a lot for a 4 month relationship

Oh dear. If he was really into you he would be desperate to see you, the first couple of years is supposed to be all about bonding.

Actually what is hugely insulting is dismissing input of people who are describing the experience of people known to them. Both the individuals I referenced are diagnosed ( no self diagnosis involved whatsoever) and have struggled with people misunderstanding their need for withdrawal at times from social situations. The fact they can “ understand the requirements” of a phd thesis - and, in fact, are fully aware of the way they can can come across - does nothing to detract from the fact that they continue to find that downtime from social interaction necessary. Both of them have been wonderful spouses with richly intellectual and interesting personalities and real loyalty. If people had written them off because they sometimes declined an invitation it would have been a great pity; but thankfully they have friends a little more tolerant and interested to learn about and accept the nuances of others. I’m not sure what makes you think you can dismiss other prople’s experience just because you’re “ tired of reading it”

He’ not that into you, he’s flaky, make plans with your friends for Easter.

oooh, aren't you lucky. He will make time for you on Monday. Maybe Sunday.

I hope you're keeping your WHOLE weekend free in case he is suddenly available?

Seriously OP, are you really this desperate? When will this decision be taken? Are you just to sit around in limbo before then? What if a friend calls you tonight to suggest doing something on easter sunday? Do you say no in CASE he's available? What about Monday? Obviously you can't plan anything because he's vague. what if on Monday he just wants to meet for a quick drink? And you've been sitting around all weekend.

When I see those SM posts saying, "what do you wish you could convince your younger self of" I almost always think, "Believe that if a man isn't willing to actually be with you, he's not worth any of your time at all. Take it all, or nothing."

Excellent advice.

I'm on the fence now.

On the one hand, out of all my big relationships, it was bang on with the ones that were properly into me. Fun, addictive, saw each other loads. The hard work one was hard work the whole way through and I should have paid attention and jumped.

However. I have an autistic son who is utterly shit at maintaining friendships, so I can see how this could well be him one day. He wouldn't see why it was important to meet up, when he's happy doing his own thing. He wouldn't make up a story though. He'd just ignore you until he had no choice. I am trying to teach him though.

My first impression, I must admit

He's talking about meeting his parents to keep you strung along while he doesn't give you what you need in the relationship.

Four months in - it shouldn't be such hard work.

You can say it isn't working for you and wish him a happy life.

Calliopespa, I was quite clear but if you want to bolster the OP then, on you go. Read the title of her thread again and see if that ultra long paragraph you typed is in any way relevant to her hypothesis.

Personally I'm tired of reading posters banging on about neuro-diversity and autism, interchanging them as they like, when they know nothing about it having merely diagnosed themselves to 'win' an argument. Really, just stop it. It's hugely insulting to people who do suffer from these conditions and have been diagnosed accordingly.

I'm ND and I very much need time on my own after socialising and to decompress etc etc. My DH is an extrovert and more needy than me which can cause clashes. Currently our babysitter has fallen through and we are arguing over who is still going to go out (we had two tickets for something) he says I should go because I had a hard week, I say he should go because I had a hard week 😂 just shows our different perspectives, I am not particularly keen to go out because I need to decompress.

Anyway, at 4 months into our relationship we only spend weekends together and I wouldn't have missed one for being ill/tired. I would have wanted to decompress and watch a movie/chill with him. The fact you didn't see him last weekend and won't for ages if you don't this weekend suggests his need for space is extreme and won't work. People are usually more tolerant and want to spend more time in a new relationship even if they are introvert and ND so this will only get worse. Only reason I can think is under the weather is code for violent diarrhoea 😂.