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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"Hello trouble"

158 replies

TheAverageJoanne · 28/03/2024 08:28

A man I vaguely know (friend's stepbrother) said this to me in greeting yesterday at a funeral. I found it trivialising and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man). AIBU?

OP posts:
soupfiend · 28/03/2024 21:06

What this thread shows is that the death of the local market (fruit/veg/clothes/tat) is having a huge impact on people's understanding of generic, harmless, chatty, sociable human interactions.

LolaSmiles · 28/03/2024 20:58

LolaSmilesor the OP is just someone who gets offended quite easily
Perhaps.
I think I'd be naturally more reserved with someone I only vaguely knew, especially at a funeral. Even this thread suggests there's probably regional variation.

Thegoodbadandugly · 28/03/2024 20:50

People get offended way to easily these days.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/03/2024 20:45

Zola1 · 28/03/2024 20:18

It's the sort of thing that older sleazy men say to younger women in my experience. The only men who have ever greeted me in this way are ones I want to run far away from

Really, you don't get it from gay men?! Older native Londoners of both sexes and gay men of any age are the ones who say it to me. None of them are being sleazy.

juniorspesh · 28/03/2024 20:39

It’s totally old school 80s flirting. It has a retro charm, like Keith Floyd.

At a funeral! My goodness. I hope he’s a Matt Berry type.

Zola1 · 28/03/2024 20:18

It's the sort of thing that older sleazy men say to younger women in my experience. The only men who have ever greeted me in this way are ones I want to run far away from

PutASpellOnYou · 28/03/2024 20:17

You are over thinking it, it's just a greeting, l call my two sons double trouble, jokingly.

momtoboys · 28/03/2024 20:16

Oh, for the love...

tuvamoodyson · 28/03/2024 20:13

YABU

PoochiesPinkEars · 28/03/2024 20:12

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/03/2024 16:59

I would consider this overstepping, by a member of the opposite sex, as a married woman and feel uncomfortable with it.

'as a married woman' 🤣🤣
Do you think it means he's trying to get his leg over?
Do we need to analyse everything to death?

Elphamouche · 28/03/2024 18:06

Definitely not sexiest in my eyes. I get called it, I call grown men it! It’s just the same as us calling each other love/babe/darling etc and that isn’t us flirting either. It’s just the circles we run in.

Comedycook · 28/03/2024 17:41

I see it as a term of endearment in a sort of back handed way.

Mydahliasareshit · 28/03/2024 17:40

I know someone who is lovely but absolutely dreadful at remembering names. He learned this phrase got him out of a hell of a lot of scrapes at events like this. Don't take it personally.

Or would you rather he said 'err...hello...you...'?

PassingStranger · 28/03/2024 17:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Agree, it's madness looking for problems.

It's when he says something really rude and abusive you've hot a problem.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/03/2024 17:37

I get this at work from the same people who say "allo duchess". It is meant in a friendly way and doesn't bother me.

saraclara · 28/03/2024 17:34

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/03/2024 16:59

I would consider this overstepping, by a member of the opposite sex, as a married woman and feel uncomfortable with it.

I'm genuinely bewildered by that.

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/03/2024 16:59

I would consider this overstepping, by a member of the opposite sex, as a married woman and feel uncomfortable with it.

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 28/03/2024 16:56

Trulyme · 28/03/2024 16:24

I have a friend who calls everyone cunt as a term of endearment 🤣

I often call my DH a knobhead and he usually answers but I'm your knobhead.

apostrophewoman · 28/03/2024 16:54

Trulyme · 28/03/2024 16:24

I have a friend who calls everyone cunt as a term of endearment 🤣

I do this to my very best friends ❤️

Trulyme · 28/03/2024 16:24

I have a friend who calls everyone cunt as a term of endearment 🤣

Trulyme · 28/03/2024 16:23

Some people love to find things to get offended about.

Some men say this to me or use other names to show affection, but just as many women also do the same.

Should we also get offended every time a woman says “how have you been hun/love”?

greiday · 28/03/2024 15:26

BellaAndSprout · 28/03/2024 14:04

I love it when a bloke calls me trouble 😳

Me too!

greiday · 28/03/2024 15:22

If I don't call you by a word other than you name then I'm not really your friend Smile

PoochiesPinkEars · 28/03/2024 15:18

noooooooo · 28/03/2024 15:15

Treacle, trouble (sometimes ‘ohhh here comes trouble with a capital T’) doll, hen - pally ways of saying hello. Might be regional/ class-based or something. Got one family friend who calls everyone petal! Male, female, cats, whoever. Personally I feel somewhat slighted when people greet me by name, it’s like, am I not in the gang 😜

Yup.
Love
Flower
Petal
Chuck
Mate
So many.
Said by allsorts to allsorts. Isn't it nice to be relaxed and friendly.

soupfiend · 28/03/2024 15:16

starfishmummy · 28/03/2024 14:34

Where I live its a greeting meant in affection - usually said to someone the speaker and is said to men, women and children. But it's a bit off to use it in a formal setting like a funeral

The best thing to do at funerals is be affectionate, warm, social short hand affections, use people's nick names. People want to feel embraced and supported. Formality does not do that.