Parent going on holiday without child AGAIN

Tbh, when i went on holidays with ex and my daughter was same age, she never wanted to come on holiday!! I would say youll miss all of this (lists all amazing things there)...paris? No... Hawaii? No...prague? No...etc..she did come with us to places like lindos, Rhodes, turkey, Krakow etc. i even asked her if she wanted to choose a holiday ..no!!so sometimes its because they don't want to go.

When I was 14 my dad took a job on the other side of the world. I saw him once a year initially, then more frequently ( when he didn’t have to pay!)

i think a previous poster nailed it when they said that the family adapts to this dynamic and the child adapts and can live life, breezily without that parent everyday. The parents reaps the consequences ( if they care) of their decision.

Was parent A the one who was doing the bulk of the small child parenting?

does / did parent B ever go away without the child? What was parent B like when the child was small?

Christ they are a shite parent. I’d be hoping for the teen go live with parent b full time.

There is nothing more damaging than having a parent who clearly doesn’t love you or put your first. Parent A should be ashamed of themselves.

While I don't think it's a great thing to do in this situation it really is none of your business. The child is safe with the other parent, not home alone. There's nothing you can or should do about it.

Wow a total of seven weeks away from a 14 yo; that’s a lot. My dc would have absolutely hated that and yes they loved going on holiday with me (now 15 and 17). I do think it will be having an impact.

however, there’s nothing you can say, just stay there as a stable supportive presence.

YANBU to think this parent A should be sticking around longer to actually help with parenting of their own child.

If they wanted kids, they should be there for them until they are 18 at least and then bunk off.

Parent A sounds very selfish imo but lucky that patent B is ok about it.
However, it wouldn’t surprise me if the child gets abandonment issues as they get older.

I assume that parent A will make payments to parent B for child maintenance while they are away ?

Hmm. Child free holidays are one thing, but this really smacks of a patent that's loved up in a new relationship, and this is taking complete precedence over the child. Yeah, I'm sure that the kid won't want to come on all the holidays, but to not find at least one that the kid can/and will want to come on is poor.

Your being completely unreasonable, the child is happy, both parents are happy, let them do what works best for them

It’s not great to CHOOSE to spend that much time away from your kids though, let’s be honest. I understand it’s some people’s jobs and then everyone realises the parents needs their job and the parent calls home and says I miss you! I love you! But if it’s just travel for fun, the parent calls home and says I miss you and the teen thinks yeah whatever CLEARLY not enough to think maybe I shouldn’t book multiple month long trips away, mum/dad is so full of shit.

Not OPs granchild, she was 'posting for a dear friend'

When my DC are with my exDh for a weekend (alternative) I often go on city breaks DC wouldn't enjoy .
I also take a child free holiday, again a week of walking, culture etc which wouldn't be enjoyed. My ex DH also does this and we don't bat an eyelid as we know the other parent is capable and child is happy.

We both work hard in our jobs and as parents, I don't see a problem.

It’s not 1950 anymore - what a load of garbage.
One of my closest friends has a very successful wife who’s a bit of a globetrotter while he’s more of a ‘home bird’.
Their kids are doing great as it’s all they’ve ever known and she’s a fantastic Mum regardless of physical presence.

My kids are the granddaughter in this situation. I say nothing but they definitely judge and judge hard.
Their Dad hasn’t found that out yet, but he will at some point.

Lots of us absolutely would "bat an eye" at a father taking 7 weeks of holidays without his dc.

Of course it's unusual. And suggests a warped sense of priorities. It's not remotely the same as going away for work to do it as a jolly. (And I wouldn't think it was great parenting to do that for work either tbh). Unless the child is being offered holidays and refusing to go on them, it is selfish behaviour.

I'm assuming it's the mum because no one would bat an eyelid about a dad going away on long trips and leaving a 14yo at home.

I mean, dads can work away from their babies and tiny children for weeks on end and they're "providing for their families", but mums get it handed to them if they even think of taking a job which involves being away regularly.

I'd be wondering how much quality free time parent A gets to spend with their kid if they have a traditional working set up and the entirety of their holiday leave is spent on solo holidays?

Don’t know what said friend wants from this thread .

None of your business

How did you manage to raise a reasonable, non-judgemental son who is an excellent father?

This is the real issue for me.

When I was 15, I went on holiday without either of my parents gasps.

My dad also used to take regular trips abroad for his business. Not a big deal.

Maybe this parent also doesn’t want to be trapped with the school holiday prices.

This.

Seems to me that the holidays are a red herring.

Child is clearly struggling but Parent A is more interested in their new life with a new partner with travel and fun than their child. Parent B seems to be the most involved and engaged parent, so if I was advising them I would suggest that Parent B applies for full residency, involving court if needed.

The child clearly needs strong ongoing and consistent support that the child isnt going get if Parent A is very obviously putting their own wants above the childs needs. The childs behaviour is likely to get worse unless Parent B steps in, says "Enough, if you are not prepared to be a decent parent then I am" and follows through.