Parent going on holiday without child AGAIN

None of your business. At all.

I've got 3 holidays planned this year without DC- 1 just me and DH and 2 just me and friends. Some people will think I'm a terrible mother for this, but I don't care. My children are loved, cared for and well provided for.

The way this is written I thought it was going to be a young child but 14 and left safely in the care of the other parent so what's the problem? 7 weeks out of 52 and if the teenager lives between the parents it's approx 24/25 days away from the child.

Whats the betting this is the mother going on holiday and being judged harshly for it? If the other parent had no issue then a grandparent has zero right to comment, never mind post it online 🙄🙄🙄

When I was 14 my parents buggered off on an extended holiday for 6 weeks and left my younger brother and I with our aunt. They had a great time and we managed to survive completely unscathed.

A 14 yo is old enough to understand they've not been permanently abandoned. She'll be fine. This sounds more to do with your dislike of Parent A.

I have no issue with parents travelling without children, but I DO take issue with one parent constantly booking holidays without the child and pleading poverty as an excuse for not taking child on ANY holidays.

You’re right, it’s not your place to judge. Everyone gets on and nobody has an issue, apart from you it seems. You’re a grandparent, you have no rights or say over how your child parents their child. Keep your nose out.

Yes you’re right not your place to judge. If you’re so keen for her to see the world why don’t YOU take her on holiday?

dh went away for over two weeks for work and all of the kids definitely felt it no matter what age they were!!

It doesn’t matter which parent it is, the child will of course miss them, worry about them and felt left behind at least a little bit!

And I don’t think your friend needs to butt out, surely the secret to a secure child who has that much family is the family showing up and being there for them/ looking out for them. Maybe the parent is so caught up in a bit of freedom they’re not totally thinking how it will affect everyone

The OP didn't actually say that Parent A never takes the child anywhere. She just said not on those specific trips.

So my dd's welfare is at risk because I went somewhere during her dad's contact time, and didn't just sit in my house? Even though she's there those dates regardless?

Didn't realise I had to be waiting at home, doing nothing, whilst her other parent, um parents, otherwise her welfare is at risk.

Are we supposed to do that when they're at school too? Never go for lunch with friends, never go for a stroll around the shops, never do anything other than parenting, even when they aren't with you.

Perhaps think the whole thought through before posting.

Oh wow! From this thread I've learnt I'm neglectful AND a "bad parent" - all because I don't sit and stare at the walls whilst dd12 is with her dad.

Shame on me, I shall get the sackcloth and ashes!

Truth be told I don't give a damn what people think about me travelling without dd.

I am the main carer. Her dad has her one night a week, every other weekend, and half the holidays. During the times she is with me I do everything for, and with, her. During the times she isn't with me I do things for me.

I refuse to allow people to make me feel bad about that. Neglectful? Hilarious!

Unless I'm supposed to do nothing except parenting that's a ridiculous statement.

I'm going away for the weekend this weekend - dd is with her dad for his Easter hols week. It's mine and dps anniversary, so we're going away.

Next month we're away for the weekend to see a band (dd would hate it and it's her dad's weekend), and four days in Serbia for DPs big birthday - again, during her dad's half term. In June, another weekend away to see another band - again her dad's weekend.

I'm also going to India for a wedding later in the year. That is in term time, so dd will stay with her dad. For a whole two weeks out of the entire academic year. How very neglectful of me.

I'm sure many people are thinking what an appallingly bad "neglectful" parent I am.

I'm sure some acquaintances also think so. I don't really care though, because I know what I DO do with DD.

This year alone:

January - a weekend in London for a Con and to see a show.
February - a week in India.
July - a weekend in London to see Stray Kids (even though I'd rather stick pins in my eyes)
Also July: ten nights in Rhodes
August: 7 nights at Butlins on our annual girls trip with my best friend and her dd.
October: another weekend in London.

Yep, because I have the AUDACITY to travel when I don't have my dd, I'm dreadful, bad, neglectful parent.

Or maybe people shouldn't make assumptions or judge.

You said twice it’s not your place to judge… so don’t! It’s nothing to do with you. Yeh it’s a shame your granddaughter misses out on holiday but that’s up to the parents to decide if they are ok with that which they obviously are

I think it's unfair on the child.
It would be nice to do holidays with the child as well. They only have a few more years of the child caring and they aren't spending the time making memories.

I'd be willing to bet ANY money Parent A is the mum and granny is the dad's mother, and she's clutching her pearls so tightly at the very THOUGHT a mother might have any interests or time to herself outside her children.

My bet is on an ex-Mother-In-Law who was a complete pain in the rear when this couple were married, and I suspect "Parent A" is the former daughter-in-law who got sick of the interfering and poking at her parenting. AmIRight?!
Oh...sorry, was that not the question?! Everyone's fine with it, so keep your nose out!

Child abandonment? 🤦‍♀️🤣

OP you could take your granddaughter on holiday 🤷‍♀️

It depends on the child

I am a stepmother and we booked to take my stepchild abroad with us when he was younger and he decided the week before going that he didn’t want to leave mum (this was after he had created and said he wanted to go away for two weeks because 1 wasn’t long enough) we lost a lot of money I am talking thousands therefore we decided we wouldn’t be booking to go abroad with him again, we now holiday with him in the uk and in places we can cancel last minute in case the same happens again

Sounds like my ex. Dd, 15, is only with him every other weekend and he doesn't even bother asking if it's OK for him to go away over those periods, I'm just told. This year he's away the entire school summer holiday with his wife and their kids. Next year they're considering moving abroad. My opinion was never asked and just assumed I will take on all the parenting responsibility. Of course I don't kick off as I don't want Dd to think neither parent wants her around so instead I double down on giving her what she needs. Parent A is the one ultimately missing out, as the child will be much closer to those she spends most time with.

The 14 year old is unlikely to want to go? Really? I think this is something parents tell themselves to make them feel less guilty for leaving the kids at home.

My DD19 and DD16 have never shown any sign of wanting to stop holidaying with us. I don’t know any teens that wouldn’t want to ‘explore the world’.

We’ve left our kids at home for the odd weekend here and there, but never at the expense of taking them away too.

The parent in the OP is not taking their DD away at all.

Theres a lot worse things a parent can do than ' go on holiday'
Parents have a rough deal these days

In my eyes theres only A Small window of a few years where someone can Travel. If someone has managed to accumulate funds and travel then good on them. As years go, by expenses increase , health gets worse, and its impossible to do. In 2 or 3 years the child probably will refuse to be seen in public with s parent as usually happens; all the while the parent is funding the whole existence of the child and probably first flat. Its refreshing to see parents enjoying Life.

The child is with her other parent!

I think there is a child welfare issue here, concerning abandonment issues and mental health of the child going forward.

Child welfare is everyone’s business.

Well, Gran is interested in GD's wellbeing, so it is kind of her business. Yeah, Gran going in all guns blazing isn't going to go down well. However, it's great that GD has Gran as an extra adult to take an interest in her.

I had a parent who did something similar. I wouldn't have minded them taking trips away, but the whole message that they were having this while new exciting life, and weren't prepared to put effort in to share some of that with me was pretty shitty. And yes, I pretended that I was ok with it.

It seems pretty poor that parent A can't find a single trip that would interest both parent and child.