Parent going on holiday without child AGAIN

What if Parent A wasn’t on holiday but just had several two week gaps between seeing their child for other reasons ?

Surely the only relevant question is whether the GD minds the two week gaps, amd sees plenty of parent A in between. Whether parent A is at home or in another country is irrelevant.

My guess is dear friend is the mother in law
parent A is the mum
parent B is the dad ( her son)

From friends with teenagers I've heard that in the GCSE years the children don't want to go on holiday - they want to spend the Christmas and Easter holidays revising. So why not leave them with a caring Co parent and let them do their revision?
I do boring archeological holidays and my primary age daughter hates them! She likes centre parcs/ theme parks.

The vast majority of my time is spent in destinations and activities of my child's choosing but occasionally I go on holidays without my child. When I tell her I'm going to climb a mountain or look at some ruins and there is no gift shop/ soft play/ junk food available she definitely doesn't want to come! If the holidays are affordable and not at the expense of family holidays then I think the parent is actually modelling a healthy mindset

Unless you have concerns about parent B's parenting, you really don't have a point.

I am also assuming parent B is your son.

Let me get this straight. The other parent isn’t complaining. The 14 year old isn’t complaining. The parents, while divorced and remarried, have a cordial relationship. The child is growing up in security with two loving families. . Your friend isn’t judging. But she got you to post her non-complaint on here.

Lots of parents work away from home and are gone much, much more than seven weeks in total. Many parents have to travel frequently for their job. It's quite often the father and no one says a fucking thing about it. This particular child is with their other parent, not a nanny or family friend. There is no issue here.

It is quite unusual though, for anyone to take SEVEN WEEKS abroad on holiday in a year, let alone someone who is a parent taking those weeks without their child.

I don't think the OP would be posting if it was a few long weekend city breaks.

I know it isn’t my place

BOOM. You're brilliant. You answered your own question. Your grandchild is with their other parent and is loved and safe.

Get a grip, get a hobby, and mind your own business.

For someone who is supposedly not judging, your post is very judgy. The girl is with one of her parents, so what's the problem?

I did lots of work related travelling (obviously without children). Zero harm done. They were well looked after by their dad

"it's not my place to judge" - you/"friend" are judging though, aren't you. I'm also a grandparent, it's not my place to judge but obviously I do, let's be comfortable with admitting this.

Sounds like parents A and B are happy and getting along. That's fantastic. 14 year old has two happy parents and step family as well as loving grandparents. Also fantastic.

My eldest Dc is nearly 13 and no I wouldn’t do this. It is such an important part of their lives and they go through such changes. I like to be around to support my DC through this. It will not be long till they leave the nest. I have quite a few younger DC too but taking them out of the picture it would be a no from me.

Why on earth do you need to post "for your friend"

There is no charge to join mumsnet if you dont want to use the 'premium' service?

I love how the sex of the travelling parent has not been specified but of course it's bad, reckless mummy who will be punished by the family managing without her! 😂 A 14 yr old doesn't need a whole phalanx of family taking up the slack.

Mummy’s bored. Not particularly flattering to DD, but she can’t travel as a schoolchild anyway.

DD’s got granny, very luckily. I imagine the other family are taking up the slack, and thank goodness they’ve risen to the occasion.

People who welch a bit on family get a shock when family adapt & live happily and breezily without them. That’s the healthy way forward, and well done to the others.

Surely the critical question is whether Parent A spends plenty of time with their daughter in between trips?

OP/her friend need to keep their nose out. If the other parent doesn’t have an issue then why should they

As pp said I am guessing the traveller is the ex of their precious offspring and they want to find fault when it’s not there

If the grandchild is having issues then that’s for the parents to manage and not the grandparent

The crucial sentence is: Parent B has no issue and doesn't think A is an arsehole for enjoying travel. Unless there is a drip feed about other issues.

You sound like a very attuned grandmother, and I’m sure you’re picking up on things the parents are missing. She is very lucky to have you and I’m sure she feels your love & care. Nothing you can do about arsehole parent A unfortunately

Parent B has no issue with Parent A traveling

So what's your friend's problem?

The parents have both have remarried and all the families and all get along

That's really good, and often not the case. Your friend should be really happy that her DGD is growing up in a stable and warm environment.

Exactly @Lentilweaver
If travelling is a hobby and it's feasible then so be it.
If the parent was on a work trip then eyebrows wouldn't be raised no doubt.
I think some people think parents should drop all their interests when kids come along.

can't be... cos i think its mine? 😂. when ever he had the kids.. it was classed as 'child minding' so i could go to work... definatly not spending time and building bonds with his children

Why do you care? Get a hobby

I like archaeological holidays and poking around in ruins. DC didn't. So I left them with DH and went. We still had a family holiday. Was I supposed to just do Club Med or wait until they left home? Life is too short for all that martyrdom. Carpe diem.

Me too, at 14 it's unlikely they would want to join the parent anyhow.
I don't see a problem, everyone gets on, 2 loving parents who are able to enjoy life and still be a parent.
Imagine the alternative, ...hostile relationships and custody battles

Does she get to go on any holidays? Does she want to go?
Could parent b take her away or could you take her?

If the kid is 14 and it's a fairly recent thing that she's starting travelling alone, then I'd think that it was not that bad.