To ask to stop your children ‘play’ screaming?

My kids get told off every time they scream. Laughing and being loud and having fun is fine, that awful screaming is not. Same at softplay.

I hate to say it, but it's nearly always girls that do it, seems like a learned behaviour to me. Not necessary

Ah is that the issue?

Just to add that this goes on for 2-3 hours a day

YANBU. Having done a Sainsbury’s shop to the accompaniment of piercing screams from two girls of about four and six, I feel your pain. Unfortunately they reached the checkouts the same time as I did and carried on screaming. I tried to quell the older one with a ‘teacher’ stare but she looked me in the eye and carried on. Mother ignored them.

My son is autistic and verbal stims a lot. He has very low comprehension and wouldn't remotely understand me trying to stop him. Trying to get him to be quieter is impossible. I remove him from the situation but again, he wouldn't correlate that's because he was making a noise. I appreciate this isn't the case for all parents but for us it's really challenging and draining.

Near my house there is a long back garden that ends about 8m from the front of my house. At the bottom of that garden is a giant enclosed trampoline. Every single dry day after school, and longer on school holidays, there are girls on the trampoline screaming. It's more than normal excitement, it's like one of them decides to express her enjoyment by screaming loudly instead of laughing and the other joins in.

I keep thinking she will grow out of it but it's been quite a few years now and she looks about 12 and no sign of stopping.

Today they have a much younger child also on the trampoline. I hope this child is not being inducted in how to scream.

When I take calls at this time of day people can hear it and it affects my concentration.

In fairness that trampoline is probably the best investment that mother ever made. She gets to spend several hours a day not having to have her screamer kids indoors!

The high pitched screaming is awful. There's no need for it. Ruins any enjoyment you have going into the garden. General loud noise from kids I can cope with. Nice to see them happy and enjoying themselves.

Kids enjoy doing plenty of things that they shouldn’t do - that doesn’t make it right or ok.

"Letting off energy" and "not screaming" are totally compatible. Running around, shouting, laughing, fine. Screaming is not (unless there is severe disability involved).

They should all have a lesson involving reading "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" - because if something nasty was actually happening to them (kidnapped, fallen down a well aka hurt in an accident, eaten by wolves.....) no one would run to help.

I agree OP! I can't stand it when kids scream when playing, it's so unnecessary. Laughing, talking etc all fine, but the screams... I always said to mine to stop it, as no one wants to hear that (including me!).

YANBU at all. Drives me insane - I had a rule with DD that unless there was a serious scream worthy emergency that it was absolutely unacceptable behaviour

This. I don't love my kids running around and screaming but they are children and they are outside and when they are outside they get to run around and play with their friends and for whatever reason laughing and letting out screams as they run is what they do on occasion. We expect respectful behaviour when we are indoors in a public space but children should be allowed to let energy out when they are outdoors and frankly, children should be spending as much time outdoors as possible.

You should look at why you are hearing so much outdoor noise inside and remedy that, or move your office to a different part of the house.

Screaming is unnecessary. Things like a warm-up in Reception PE or a school disco bring out the screamers but I stop them all, tell them that's not what we do and they stop. I don't let my own children scream and shriek in the garden either. You can have fun without it being painful for others to listen to!

YANBU. I live next door to a screamer and we have very thin walls. We tried to move house as it's doing our head in but the market is really slow so we gave up. I now just wear noise cancelling headphones whenever she's in the house (4yo, rarely at nursery, screams for every emotion, has been screaming every day since she was born).

Speaking as a fellow remote worker, your inability to take phone calls is a you problem.

I'm completely with you OP. In the Summer holidays the kids in my road are out playing from 10 in the morning until 9 or 10 at night. The groups change and they're in and out, but someone is always screaming. I teach online and it's really stressful having to listen to screaming for 12 hours.

The screaming does my head in. When my dd was younger and friends round they were warned that they weren't allowed to scream and if they did they'd have to come in from the garden.

Children are noisy and pointless screaming should not be encouraged.

But I strongly feel that WFH should not dictate that people have to stop living their normal lives inside or around their homes. Houses were built to live in, they are not offices, and if you choose to work from home in a cul de sac full of young families, it will often be noisy. If it wasn't screaming it would be football or basketball or something else.

Get some earplugs. Simple. Kids should be allowed to play out during the day making harmless noise.

I have kids and cannot stand that noise. There's no need for screams. Hate it. I think some parents get noise blind and forget there's other people in the world having to listen to it.

I have teenage girls and in my experience it is nearly always little girls who do this. Not mine, I wouldn't allow it when they were little as is annoying to others and frankly hurts my ears. If they just scream as they enjoy as per a pp then their parents should take them to an empty field or beach and let them scream into the wind. There is excited play noises and screaming. The latter should only be used when being murdered or similar.

Mine have never been allowed to scream. I always get such a shock when play dates scream! Not all do, plenty have same rule on it as us. But honestly the screamers always have the parents with low control overall.

We used to have a neighbour who had two girls of late primary age. They and four other local girls used to do a circular route around our cul de sac and the terrace that backed onto it in a crocodile. They each did a scream followed by the next girl, then the next and so on as they marched on their route. It was unbearable but the parents did nothing about it.
The two that lived opposite us used to also stand in the street and scream while waiting for their mum to come out and get them into the car for school. They literally screamed as hard as they could. It wasn’t shouting in “outdoor voices”, it was screaming as if they were being murdered.

I understand exactly what you mean.
Shouting, laughing, singing.....all fine in theory.
Screeching in a way that sounds like you are being eaten by wolves....no..
Just. No.
Shut the f up.
Unless you are actually being eaten by a wolf.