‘D’P hit stepson

@289406520t I forgot to add on my post you can buy Kylie bed protector. I bought 2 from amazon. You put them on top of the bed sheet and when it gets wet, just put it in the washing machine. Saves so much washing. They dry quickly.

No wonder the kid is anxious with a dolt like that for a parent. Review your situation OP before your children begin to suffer similar.

Seen the updates this just gets better and better…..Soooo your ss has inherited the exact problem your “dh” had and he’s that mad about it 🤣 as if things couldn’t get anymore of a flipping joke! And buying sweets won’t reverse what a evil bastard he truly is!

Please tell his mum. Your partner is causing irreversible damage. What a horrible man. His poor son. No amount of sweets can make up for what he did.

How is shaming him which will make him feel anxious and scared and more likely to have an accident helping him exactly? Your partner needs to deal with his own issues from his experience and stop projecting on his son

This update just makes his reaction even worse. So he knows better than anyone what it's like to be humiliated for bed wetting and thought the best way to address it was to humiliate his son? Great job there dad.

Unless, of course, he was a bedwetter himself...

No 11 year old wants to wet the bed. Bedwetting tends to run in families so one can only hope your four year old and 18 month old are reliably dry at night sooner rather than later. It's a great pity you had children with him because even by the lower than low mumsnet standards he's no candidate for "Dad of the Year", is he? How does he think that your stepson's classmates will find out about the drynites?

My grandmother, when she was annoyed, was prone to throw a poker at her children. They all survived with excellent reflexes but that doesn't mean that my mother thought that poker throwing was a good method of behaviour modification for children or that it would be tolerated today.

Your partner is as thick as a brick. He is unlikely to get any smarter. I would chuck him out, tell your stepson's mother and report him to the authorities.

We all hope that we are not damaging our children with the way we parent, but often we’ll just never know.

However, on this thread you have a unique glimpse into the future with many posters telling you exactly how damaging being shamed/shouted at/hit actually is for something that they had no control over.

This.

Your man is a disgrace.

This is so so so incredibly damaging.

Poor boy can't help it.

You need to speak to this child’s mum ! Does she know your partner abuses him and torments him ? What on earth are you still doing with him and allowing it to happen in front of you ?
that child might need medication but with a dad like that it might actually also be him being bullied constantly.

He's a pathetic piece of shit and a particularly shit parent.And you find this man attractive?

Your SS will not forgive him in exchange for some sweets. Being hit affects long term parent-child relationships.

He's definitely shown his true colours. obviously if the child is wearing dry nites at home.. how would he be bullied at school it's something the child would keep private
His dad is beyond vile ,abusive prick.when he's an old man I hope he's left sitting in his own piss.

Your partner is an abusive bully. That poor child

Your partner is a nasty bastard who’ll be doing the same to your own children in a few years. Leave him, now. Make sure your stepson’s mum knows, too, so she can protect her child.

Have you or him told his mum?

If you were to split he might have unsupervised contact with all of your children. Not saying not to consider this of course but something to really think about re safeguarding.

So sorry you and your step son are going through this.

Absolutely this. If you do not act then you are complicit!!

I understand how incredibly hard all of this is for you, but you really do have a duty to safeguard your stepchild.

@289406520t
ADHD does NOT make people violent! His possible ADHD has nothing to do with this.

He hit his child - despite "smacking" not actually being illegal in England (!!!), I would say that smacking a child because of something that is completely out of their control is not a "reasonable punishment". (Assuming you are in England.)

Something I think it an important distinction - did your partner "smack" or "hit" his child? Was it open handed or closed? Very serious considerations to make, in my opinion! (Neither are excusable, of course.)

Also - brought him sweets and apologised??!! All the hallmarks of domestic violence-esque "I'm so sorry, I don't know how it happened, it won't happen again" bullshit excuses from an abuser.

He's done this once and raised the red flag. You have a duty to safeguard your stepchild by telling his mother and the relevant authorities. When a child's safety is at the forefront it isn't the sort of situation where you get another chance.

Otherwise you will be having these conversations about your own children next.

Right? He’s thought of a way to get out of what he’s done.

Please don’t lap it up.

This broke my heart. If you stand by and let this treatment continue you are just as bad as your partner.

Find your backbone and rip his bollocks off. He is a vile bully. He knows nothing about children’s bladder development.

1. tell the child’s mother
2. tell him you expect an immediate apology to the child and an assurance that he will never treat any of the children like that again.

Also, can I just say what a wonderful step mum you are for trying your best to look out for your stepson. I've not long lost my stepdad and can't stress enough how amazing it is to have someone step up to the plate.

I hope you and your ss get away from this man sharpish x

what an absolute abusive bullying bastard your partner is, I feel so sorry for your stepson, I would absolutely blow my top at your partner, I would not hold back at all, I would also tell the child's mum what he has done. I would tell him to leave, he'll start on the others soon enough. maybe contact social services. let him know this is an absolutely despicable thing to do and noone will be allowing him to get away with it.

You need to report this to the police so that when you leave your partner he won’t be able to have unaccompanied access to your children. If he does it to your stepson he will do this to your children too. He needs convicting of assaulting his child.

So your partner was "hit harder" when he was a child. It didn't do him any harm, unless you think bedwetting until 14/15 might have been a consequence? Your stepson needs to be taken back to the GP but not blamed or bullied by his father, of course he's not doing this deliberately.