To feel a bit jealous about this woman and DH?

Odd being the right word. 😂

I think this is your jealousy talking. Is there anything you can do to get yourself under control? Would counselling help if it started due to previous relationships or have you actually always had this issue?

SAY THE HOBBY

I think it’s metal detecting.

I am not at all jealous but this would pique my suspicion.

I give my boss the odd card and send the odd meme. Nothing very interesting or deep other in the message. If I want to thank him for his support I email him a professional short message.

Drawing a doodle and gushing praise feels oddly intimate.

This on its own would not really bother me, to be honest, but this is because I have a (lovely) junior colleague who just gushes over everything. It’s just how she is. The doodle wouldn’t bother me either as my DD and her friends do that in cards all the time. And I have also been in tears on a male colleague’s office - I know his wife as well and have done for years.
I would be more concerned if your DH started behaving out of character.

Better gen up on The Script, @pinkmushroom5 .

He's put it on your mantle peice.
You can trust him

It’s shady AF. A specially bought card. A little doodle of herself?! What kind of professional behaviour is that?

That’s not a thing. People with stuff to hide do just that - hide it.
You'd be surprised.

No one on here can know if a woman we've never met has a crush on a man we've never met, or is sucking up to him, or is naturally warm and uninhibited, or is having an emotional or physical affair with him, or wants to, or whether it's reciprocal. Because when people spend all day at work in the company of other adults, any of these things can be true and without being one of the two of them, or at least a close observer, its anybodies guess. Your best clue here is your DHs behaviour. What does he say about her?

That’s not a thing. People with stuff to hide do just that - hide it.

Wouldn’t bother me especially as he’d put it on display so isn’t hiding anything.

The crying incident:

did DH tell you about that? I'm guessing so.

Did he volunteer it all in a 'you'll never guess what happened today!' sort of story? Or was it something which you had to sort of crow bar out of him bit at a time?

I'm trying to get a feel for if he's aware she's fixing on him a bit.

Talk to him about the way you feel and nip it in the bud now before it gets worse. If your instinct tells you it's fishy then it's fishy.

Don't be surprised if the next thing you hear is that she has now decided to learn the hobby, and has asked him innocently to 'coach' her as he is so very brilliant at it.

It's not something I'd get worked up about. Some people see a lot of value in cards. I'm not one of those people but I work with a lot of people who would innocently give someone a card like that.

@pinkmushroom5 edit - sorry! in my last line i should have written 'worried' not 'jealous'. Jealousy is a natural human emotion and you should feel no shame in feeling it, it's how it's managed that determines whether it's healthy or not of course... but imo, in any case it's not for me or anyone else to tell you when you should and should not feel it based on one internet post :)

It's probably nothing @pinkmushroom5 but:

• he's mentioned her a few times (mentionitis?),
• the card is crossing a boundary,
• he has a 'hobby',
• his promotion could excuse any change in behaviour,
• the card is on display and is inappropriate (hiding in plain sight - look at how many who've said it obviously means there's nothing going on,
• her stress at home (damsel in distress) etc.

It's just a silly doodle of herself

^

Hmm, very intimate

Between that and the fake damsel in distress crying rubbish I'd say you have a problem

Some people like to give gifts, send thoughtful cards, bake cakes etc. Im a gift giver, especially food, if I notice someone eats a lot of snickers and then saw a limited edition flavour I’d buy them one and it means nothing. But honestly I’d feel a little bit jealous of the card too because I’m human but it really could be nothing.

I think the fact your husband openly displayed the card, means you don't have anything to feel worried about. Best ways, this is someone wanting to show genuine affection and appreciation for a colleague who has shown them kindness/support. Worst ways it's someone with a little bit of a work crush or a doing a bit of clumsy ass kissing to try and score brownie points.

I was drawn to your repeated use of the word 'gushing' to describe this colleague's communication. Presumably your description of her after this event where she was upset as 'gushing' has come from the way your husband described it to you? Which suggests that it was something which made him a little uncomfy /felt was a little over the top also. For what it's worth, I think the fact he's communicating this to you means you don't have anything to feel jealous about.

What does the doodle of her represent? Them sharing a hobby, her smiling adoringly at him?
That's the bit that’s missing.

What’s the hobby