I’m going to hell.

Agree, though the 'willing' part is crucial.

You’ve missed the point haven’t you ?

He’s not sick. He’s just allowed himself to become disgusting … a sure sign that he’s taking OP for granted.

As for marriage vows, it’s a two way process and about respecting your marriage partner.

He's showing that he’s not respecting OP and she doesn’t have to put up with it.
She doesn’t have to be shackled to him for life!

He needs to go to the dentist - gum disease is related to heart disease.
He also needs to see the GP as for sleep apnoia you can get a CPap machine. It isn’t sexy but does the trick.

I would ignore the advice of those who tell you to leave straight out the bat with such limited context/information regarding your relationship. It's incredibly simplistic and quite frankly dangerous advice that frequents this site too often.

The first step is to talk openly and honestly to your partner. You have children, a family, were attracted to him at some point presumably. Be truthful about how you feel regarding intimacy. Offer to help him with weight loss and gaining the confidence to set a plan with a dentist to fix his gingivitis. All the problems you listed are treatable and there is no reason, if he is willing, that they cannot be resolved.

I missed this post.
This is SO gross, I would not be friends with someone who does it not mentioning relationship.

RUN

There are solutions to this, OP. Your DH has to be willing to give them a go, though. If he's overweight, he needs to get help with that along with your support to make it more likely he'll succeed. Dental gingivitis can be fixed with treatment. I would not give up on him because of those things, but totally understand being grossed out by it. You two need to have a proper conversation about it.

@NotQuiteNorma has something hit a nerve? This the 2nd post I've seen where you are going on about for better or worse.

I wouldn't be with DH anymore if he started acting like a disgusting pig.

You need to be honest with him that you’re thinking of leaving because of his behaviour. It’s not nice to have to have that conversation.

I would expect him to not change. In which case you’re going to have to leave. Are you able to do that financially?

I think you need to be honest with him.
Tell him he needs to lose weight, get fit and get himself sorted.

Tell him he’s allowed himself to become repulsive to you ( snoring/ poor oral hygiene/ overweight)

Sounds like he’s let himself go.

I’d give him that chance and if he doesn’t make any effort, then you need to let him go too.

Life's too short to be miserable

There’s no nice way to deal with this unfortunately.

hear hear! Its also a two way street. Both men and women don’t need to stay in shitty marriages.

dump him and run! Life’s too short to deal with BS

Well, luckily we have moved on from women having to put up with awful men.

Marriage vows go both ways.
If he doesn't respect his marriage enough to refrain from offering his belly button odour to be experienced up close then... 😳

Can you sleep in separate rooms for now?

I think you need to tell him that you've grown apart and you want to experience life without him.

It's kinder than saying you're an ugly fat slob with horrendous manners and I no longer love you. Please leave your keys on the way out.

Love and attraction are sometimes two separate things.

He needs to get his weight in check, Apnoea can impact his heart too, I think. It probably hasn’t occurred to him to clean the mouth guard, so tell him it stinks and send him an online link to buy the dissolving tablet stuff to sort it! Make packed lunch for yourself and when he next mentions KFC etc tell him you’re saving money etc. set a goal for something you both want. Go for walks and ask him to join you.
If he doesn’t respect himself and your concerns then perhaps you should move on.

I think you need to tell him how you feel.
How you feel is reasonable under the circumstances! 🤢
If he tries to do something about it, you could give him time and the chance to make changes.
If he doesn't, you don't have to stay.
You're not asking for the moon on a stick, basic hygiene is a minimum baseline for expecting another human to engage in a cohabiting relationship with you, especially if you expect physical contact!

The way he's going is only going to end one way for him, which is an early poor quality of life. Fair enough if it's a disability and he can't help it, a whole other ball game if it's a lifestyle choice.

It’s shocking the amount of posters who don’t understand that physical attraction is important for some people. It’s not shallow, it’s PART of what makes a good relationship.

It also doesn’t equal love. You can love someone and yet not be physically attracted to them. Love may fade with lack of attraction or not.

But if you’re no longer attracted to your partner for ANY reason, you don’t have to stay with them. You also don’t have to justify it to anyone.

@NotQuiteNorma
What's wrong with making him a few healthy snacks and encouraging him if you love him? Oh yeah. I forgot...
Why should she? she's not his mother.

@NotQuiteNorma is he sticking to his side of the marriage vows? He's not sick, he is choosing to be disgusting and disrespectful. Getting married is not a free pass to do what the f you like and completely neglect your wife like this. OP is entitled to feel how she does.

Making him a few healthy snacks??? He is 34 years of age he doesn’t need op to make him snacks 🙄

What's wrong with making him a few healthy snacks and encouraging him if you love him? Oh yeah. I forgot...

I suppose OP will be an oil painting of course. Do marriage vows not mean a thing anymore, you know in sickness and in health, for better or worse? No, just dump them once they've provided sperm and are no longer desirable. Nice. If your grandparents had that attitude towards marriage you'd all have different fathers.

Gum disease at 34 which he's not worried about. He's going to lose all his teeth. So you'll be married to a gummy chin less snoring blob that hoovers up leftovers.

Yeah that's real sexy (not)

I'd find it hard to be attracted to someone who doesn't take care of their physical health. He really needs to see a dentist, and consider losing some weight. You need to suggest that, coming from a kind place, that you want him to be healthy.