I’m going to hell.

So you expect OP to kiss his bloody gingivitis mouth and have sex with him even though she doesn't want to?

I know you're venting here and there seem to many issues which I appreciate but have you spoken to him about any of these?

If he's depressed or stuck in a rut it may be that these are now unconscious behaviours and he has no idea they're a problem. It seems obvious to all of us that of course it is a problem but to him, it's just every day life.

If you want this to work and you want to give him a chance, you really need to hurt his feelings and detail all of this to give him the opportunity to change and see if it can make everything better.

I think we change quite a bit from how we are at 18 to how we are at 34. I couldn’t imagine being with someone from when I was that young but people do make it work

He needs to clean it, but obviously needs to improve his regular dental hygiene- electric toothbrush and some of those interdental brushes and use them.

If he cares so little for himself, how can he care about anyone else?
He might want sex but does he still love and respect you?
And why would you stay married to a man who doesn't love or respect you?

The more you post the worse he sounds. Leaving the plate out is so disrespectful.

Perhaps he's suffering Depression ?
Perhaps he's just 'a slob' ?
Either way he needs telling.
Kindly but firmly (its affecting you too)
If he is willing to take steps to address it - great. If not, you don't have to stay. You are young & you only have 1 life.

pointless mean spirited unnecessary post for which you should apologise

pointless mean spirited unnecessary post for which you should apologise

Try not to feel bad. Half of marriages don't survive for various reasons and people get divorced all the time. We're not in the dark ages any more.

Not all relationships are destined to last forever.

You don't have to stay married to somebody and you don't have to have a reason to divorce any more. The "no fault" divorce was brought in some time ago which makes dissolving a marriage a bit easier and removes the blame issue.

If you can hardly bear to look at your DH any more and want to move on with your life without waking up to him every morning, then that's entirely your decision.

You won't be the first, and certainly not the last woman to feel that way.

No.

He is only 34, sounds like he has become very complacent. You need to be kind but honest and if he doesn't take it as a wake up call, go to dentist and take care of himself, then in my opinion he is saying he doesn't have respect or care for your relationship, and then you have every right to choose to be happy.

Untreated gingivitis will cause bad breath, and could result in tooth loss.

I wouldn't just leave but you do need to have a conversation about how his poor health is causing a huge problem in the relationship including lack of intimacy and affection.

At only 34 he shouldn't be overweight, he should be in the prime of his life!

He's missing out on so much including a living relationship with you and is a dreadful role model for his children.

If he is t willing to tackle it and get cut and healthy then you just make it clear that the relationship is over.

It's not about appearance it's having respect for his body and health.

People can't help what they are attracted to or not attracted to.

I'm female and when my ex went up three dress sizes in a year it did make a difference sexually. I loved her completely, but moving layers of fat out of the way in bed was definitely a physical turn off. For someone else this may not be a turn off, but something else might be.

If you have been with him for a long time it's worth trying to work on this.

Have conversations about being healthier. Suggest the dentist.

There is a distinction to be made between attraction and love as well. How old are your kids? Would you be financially ok if divorced?

I would tell him.

He needs the wake up call anyway if he is overweight.

You can be gentle with it but I would be inclined to be a bit firmer so the reality of the situation really sinks in.

I can understand why you wouldn't be attracted to him anymore. Sounds like he's let himself go.

I can't imagine being with the person I was with at 18....

But it's probably worth talking to him first. Try and encourage him to lose weight, eat better food, do this as a family. If you want to stay with him.

If you want to leave then do it kindly.

I would say that being overweight is obviously an issue, but not necessarily a deal breaker. It can be worked on. But the oral hygiene is just really bad. Is the rest of his hygiene as bad?

A clean fat man is 100 times better than a disgusting slob of a man.

There's a huge difference between a 22st man and a 16st man. How overweight are we talking here?

Get him to a dentist! and then work on him to lose weight. You might find the spark comes back.

If you really can't live with him, or he really wont change, then you know what to do.