17 year old boys driving a car-full of mates

And I am aware of a colleague whose child died in similar circumstances - car full of 17/18 year old lads. Absolutely tragic can’t imagine what the parents have been through.

At my school there was a big crash where 3 people died, showing off to his mates at 17. Otherwise a sensible guy who was getting good grades. YANBU.

A parents nightmare. I stopped my DS in similar situations.

Youngsters think they are invincible. Cars are lethal.

Sadly, very local to me.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-68568125

I do sometimes think wonder when people think this is ok, if they have experience of their teens recently passing a driving test. (A bit like with any teen type thread you get parents of toddlers giving quite unrealistic advice)

fwiw my oldest is almost 20, passed her test a year ago (delays with lessons due to Covid). I am still aware that although she is sensible she is relatively inexperienced and could be distracted by friends but obviously I keep this to myself as she is over 18. I did worry for a while and I think this is a justifiable worry. Even if they aren’t blatantly showing off they are potentially distracted by friends and music etc.

Absolutely not out of order. How you address it without him being angry I have no idea. But a car full of young men poses a significantly higher risk of accident. In 2022 a fifth of all serious or fatal crashes involved young people. Young male drivers aged 17 - 24 are 4 times more likely to be killed or seriously injured than over 25s. This risk increases when the car is carrying passengers. There has been a lot on the news about this recently after some high profile crashes.

YANBU. We had that situation when I was at college. Five 17 year olds driving round in a car, raining, playing music, chatting, distracted, probably going a bit fast. No drink or drugs involved. Only one of them survived the crash.

You're definitely not being unreasonable OP, a friend of my granddaughters recently went out on a wet miserable night with 2 of 3 mates in the car, he's normally a careful driver, but chatting away, and messing around, led to him having a small accident. However, it could just have easily been a big one, so I wouldn't be happy to let my DS go out under the circumstances you've described. Ask him why young men are so expensive to insure, and then tell him, that it's because of just these sort of circumstances. I hope you're able to keep him safe, but his mate needs more experience on the roads before going out driving in awful conditions with his friends in the car putting him off.

Absolutely no way!

When my two first passed their tests, the rule was no friends in the car for the first month to give them time to get over the giddiness of passing.

Sadly so many young drivers get killed on the road after being egged on to go faster / showing off to friends.

I myself was almost one of those casualties for doing similar - it was sheer luck that I was in a big sturdy car and happened to be slowed down by a fence that I ploughed through..

You're not being unreasonable at all. Many states in the US have laws about how many people, aside from immediate family members, can be in the car with new drivers, and the number can increase over time. Young people are not experienced enough, and often not mature enough, to have mates who will invariably distract them from driving safely.

Stick to your guns.

There is a reason 17 year olds pay huge insurance premiums.

He’s 17 so I think yabu. God forbid he could cross the road tomorrow and get hit by a bus. Daylight/lack of rain doesn’t guarantee safety. Plus you saying no makes him look a bit sad

You are not BU. Thinking of that awful tragedy in Wales just after Christmas.