17 year old boys driving a car-full of mates

Agree with you. Where I live in nsw Australia under 25 year olds for the first year of holding their licence can’t drive with more than one passenger under the age of 21 between 11pm and 5 am. Pretty sure that rule was introduced due to the amount of deaths from young drivers.

Having a car full of people changes how the car handles.
When I was at school my friend was killed alongside four other mates. The new driver took a corner too fast and lost control.
I don't think the horror and grief have ever left me.
Subsequently I only let my 17yo have one other person in the car.

www.ilsos.gov/departments/drivers/teen_driver_safety/gdl.html

You might like to look at the details of a well thought out graduated driver scheme before condemning them.

Graduated driving schemes for young drivers were introduced in the US because letting young people loose on the roads once they passed their tests had tragic results.

While I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I also think that young drivers scheme is over kill. People are either old enough and responsible enough to drive at 17 or they aren't regardless of the age of their passengers.
How can you say a 17-24 year old with a license cannot drive with their own child or spouse in the car? You'd end up with young people passing their test then not driving for months forgetting what they learned. And being very dangerous when they get back in the driving seat.

Maybe raising the age to drive to 18 would be more sensible and easier to police approach.

My DCs learned to drive in the US in high school. There was a driver's ed class, driving simulator, school cars, and they did their test with the school driving instructor, then could get spot checked when they went with their certificate to the dmv.

They couldn't get their official license without 50 hours of a driving log filled in and signed by a qualified driver even after passing the test in school.

Their first license was valid for only five years, to age 21, with graduated steps from age 16 to 21, and strict sanctions for violations.

YANBU. It's a recipe for disaster.

Stick to your guns.

Yanbu

I didn't let mine drive with friends until they had been driving for ages.

Inexperience and bravado do not go hand in hand

www.itv.com/news/westcountry/story/2015-05-15/inquest-into-death-of-three-men-in-westbury-lorry-crash/

This was near me, all three were decapitated.

www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/2043133.tributes-to-death-crash-teenager/

I went to school with this boy, again had only very recently passed his test.

Cars can be lethal.
You are very much not being unreasonable.

A car ain't that sturdy when it hits an immovable object such as a tree for instance and it's often the passengers that come off worst.17 yr olds aren't known for common sense especially in a group.

Yanbu. This situation - young, new driver, his young friends as passengers- is just about the riskiest car travel there is.

The trouble too is the temptation to overload the car. Squeeze another two in an already full car and you alter the way it behaves on the road. Which being inexperienced drivers they don’t appreciate.

A load of teens died that were in the year below me at school, the driver survived it was almost 40 years ago. When I go home I remember them every time I drive down the hill they were killed on. My old boss DS was killed in a car crash having been out for pizza to celebrate his A level results, again only the driver survived.

YANBU.

Don’t be so ridiculous. Getting in a car with a mate who has just passed his test is asking for trouble. Boys like to show off and do stupid things. Boo hoo if he looks a bit sad. Rather that than be killed or injured.

No . No , no, no , no no no . I’ve dealt with a number of fatal crashes that have involved youngsters and I never ever want to have one more conversation with the devastated family whose child hasn’t made it to adulthood.

One of my DC’s passed his test , and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let him drive his mates about at night . He’s also a police officer now , and now he does - in fact he rang me not long ago in the early hours very upset because of two young lads that had died in a crash where he was first on scene .

All my DC’s have been told not to accept lifts from the reckless , and absolutely NEVER if any drinking has happened. None . They all have an emergency £50 for cab fares and know to ring us to get home. I’d rather complain bitterly whilst driving through the night to retrieve an idiot DC , than be driving flat out to a hospital . Couldn’t agree with you more .

There's a really interesting book on teenage brain development that explains this phenomenon of why teenagers are more likely to be distracted by their mates whilst driving. They literally havent developed the part of their brain that can stop them being egged on and distracted by their mates. It's heartbreaking. My parents didn't let me go in anyone else's car and would always pick me up. They also wouldn't pay for lessons so that I had to be old enough to afford them, having earnt the money myself

YANBU this was absolutely non negotiable in our household.

New drivers need to be able to concentrate and focus and that's impossible with a car full of mates, probably with the music on and potentially egging the driver on to drive beyond their abilities.

Our teens could only drive with family or alone for the first 6 months. That was the condition of paying for insurance. After 6 months they could have one friend in the car.

We also fitted a black box that gives the cars location and alerts you to speed limits being broken. They had a 3 strikes and your out rule.

The same rules applied re: them being in a friends car.

I honestly can't fathom why parents allow young drivers to spend the evening driving around with a full car. What do they think they are doing? The driving is the entertainment (it's not about getting somewhere safely) and they are not getting thrills by driving in a responsible way.

Of course not all young drivers are irresponsible but they are all inexperienced and under peer pressure the risks just are not worth it.

Thank you!

We need to keep quoting this so that it is visible on every page.

www.bbc.co.uk/articles/c517rnryj04o

You are not over reacting at all. This article above shares the stats of death in road traffic accidents with teen boys compared to girls. The fuel to the fire is a car full of mates egging the driver on etc. I think you are being very sensible.

YANBU at all. I’m not an overbearing or anxious parent in the slightest but this would make me really uncomfortable. DD is a new driver and the rules at the minute are she only drives if she needs to - no driving her friends around for fun which is a recipe for disaster in my mind. I can imagine this would be harder to police if your teens have their own car - DD is still sharing with me though so has to ask permission to take it and I am able to track her whereabouts via an app that connects to the car’s built in tracker

Absolutely this. Driving in the dark and rain is really tricky these days, with poor road surfaces, wet shiny tarmac and work out markings. Add into that a teenager showing off, and it's a disaster waiting to happen.

i think that’s sensible

That was what l immediately thought of too. 4 lives gone. Op yanbu.

Better looking sad than dead.

My friend's daughter went out with mates to celebrate her 16th birthday. The lad driving had just passed his test and was showing off in his dad's BMW.
Julie didn't make it home that night- she died. She left the world on the day she came into it with a bit of life sandwiched in the middle. Kids think they're bullet proof too many times they're not.
You're right, he's wrong.