17 year old boys driving a car-full of mates

It's not a question of his "social life", it's a question of whether that social life involves driving round with new driver and a group of other teens.

Although you’re definitely not being unreasonable in your concerns and fears, you are being unreasonable in expecting to have a say in his social life. At 17 he’s almost an adult. He shouldn’t have to ask permission to go out with his mates at 9pm

No you are not being unreasonable, I work for the police as a civi and it is horrifying how any young kids get killed by their friends who have just passed thier test. X

https://www.bbc.co.uk/articles/c517rnryj04o
I think the documentary linked in this article should be compulsory viewing for all young drivers.

I didn't learn to drive until pretty late in life and was the opposite of the fearless, reckless teenager. Definitely cautious. And even so, I think back to the first year after I passed my test and how much of a learning curve it was. I was so aware that my driving lessons had taught me to pass the test, not to actually be a safe and competent driver. Which only comes with experience.

In those early months I didn't enjoy driving with other people in the car as they'd always want to chat and I really needed to focus on what I was doing. The thought of a daft teenage boy with a car full of other daft teenage boys in those first few months is just frightening.

I'd rather my son looked alive and sad than dead or seriously injured. The son of a friend was killed in very similar circumstances, along with three other passengers in a car being driven by a 17 year old.

That’s the problem. A carful of dead friends.
Only this week a friend’s son and his best mate lost their lives driving at night with friends.
Within a couple of miles of our house there are probably ten roadside memorials to young men killed I’m passing one as I type.

When our son gets his license, initially he will only be the car on the basis he is by himself until he gets more confident

Of course normal to be worried but isn't this what kids do? When one drives they end up with carful of friends.

i missed this petition the first time and only saw it when quoted by another pp, so quoting again incase it’s helpful. I’ve signed it 👍 Dreading my boys facing this in a few years….

It's hugely dangerous. The time of night and the weather is relevant.
I would go as far as giving him some money to go out with them another night. You can't stop him but you can strongly advise against it.

My parents were like this. They'd let me go out with friends in their van but would come and collect me at the end of the evening.

Looking back at my own early driving experiences I was a little unconsciously reckless and inexperienced.

A little annoying and embarrassing - but I can see their point.

I did similar for my, now adult, children. Dad's taxis ran at all hours of day and night.

One of my similarly aged friends said, the day after a 2am run, 'at least you know they are they are and are safe. '

Why would a 17-year-old want to go out for a drive in the dark and the rain unless he thinks there will be some exciting stuff thrown in, e.g. high speeds, handbrake turns, perhaps everyone getting a chance to take the wheel?

Think there are moves to ban new drivers under a certain age from carrying passengers for the first 12m after they pass there test. I’d like to see that, frankly, but I get the impression the discussion over this has been going on for years.

I’ve never let my children travel in a car with anyone 18/under with less than a year’s driving experience, but I’m a super cautious and overly anxious mum!

This is what I've been thinking while reading this thread, you can have as many rules as you like but at 18 there's very little you can do to stop them getting in someone else's car. You can tell them all the horror stories and hope they listen but 18 year olds aren't known for their perfect decision making unfortunately.

I think you are being sensible! My children were only allowed one friend in the car when they first passed their test, driver will be so easily distracted by their friends who at that age are highly likely to be messing around

Yes, about van insurance. My DC was involved in an awful accident with a group of cyclists. Insurance costs rose extortionately but transport necessary for work. Purchasing a van helped.

@phlebasconsidered interesting, the fact the insurance is cheaper demonstrates it's a good idea all in all, must be lower risk. Ironic given how some van drivers drive 😂

Not unreasonable. For many reasons I dont even want to share here.

This is why my 17 year old is getting a van. It will help him in his apprenticeship and he can only have one passenger! It's a lot cheaper on insurance too. He wasn't best pleased at first but now he's seen sense.

I live rurally and roads are surrounded by deep drains and dykes. The amount of roadside memorials to young lads is awful.

My daughters' private school have the same rules.

I never let my older two have any but family passengers for the first year after passing even though they were sensible.

Seems like you treat your 17 year old son like a baby to be honest.

‘You saying no makes him look sad’

This is a very immature response (well, the whole thing is actually) are you a parent? We’re there to advise and protect and help them grown into strong, confident adults who won’t just follow the crowd for fear of looking ‘a bit sad’…..

This is not just a ‘crossing the road’ situation, look at the stats (or just turn on the news). She probably can’t physically stop him at 17, but she can and should warn him.

Obviously my post was about an Alpha Romeo and not an Alpha Oreo. But I agree that these particular parent's lack of sense and disregard for rules is dreadful.