17 year old boys driving a car-full of mates

In Victoria they can't carry more than one 'peer passenger' at any time on green P's, I guess it varies between states.

@Coachvikki People pulling on the handbrake while I was driving leaning over from the back seat, the works.

WTF?

What a great idea.

I was one of the first of my friends to pass my test and the only one to have access to a car in the evening so I was often the sober driver. It was a very challenging experience with LOTS of distractions. People pulling on the handbrake while I was driving leaning over from the back seat, the works. It is a minor miracle I never had an accident.

I think you are 100% correct. What is the worse that can happen if you stick to your guns? Your son is a bit pissed off at you. Since when are teenagers a good judge of risk?

The government response to that petition infuriates me. They continue to improve ‘road safety’. The roads can be fine - it’s the carloads of 17 year olds distracting each other that are not. Most other countries can manage this. Why can’t we?

I’m in Australia and here the law says that if you’re under 25 and on the first year of your license you cannot have more than one passenger under the age of 21 between 11pm and 5am. You can apply for an exemption for work or other reasons.

The laws were introduced after a spate of accidents with multiple fatalities. Good kids, nice families just doing stupid things when too young to know better.

If we didn’t have these laws I would be the same as you OP. I’m actually astounded that anyone would think this was ok.

Signed. This happened to a school friend of mine. Devastating. I think it was ice rather than egging anyone on, but a more mature driver would have been ok.

YANBU. In Australia there are limits on P platers being able to drive with more than 1 occupant under 22, unless a sibling or partner. Zero alcohol. There are two grades of P platers, red and green. They can drive any kind of car they like and they do.

And still every year there are teen full car crashes. They just get tanked up, loud music and totally not focussed on the driving.

I do just wish the government would do something though. It’s clearly a bad idea to have groups of 17 year olds all in one car together.

I think it’s worth (and I will be doing this when the time comes). Is speaking to all the other parents of friends so they are all on board. I think the best you can do is have a no passenger rule for the first year. Fit the black box. Check their driving. Also keep offering lifts or pay for taxis at night.

Where I grew up we were lucky - small village but amazing transport links. It was far easier to hop on a train for 15 mins. Especially when drinking. Always loads of night buses. I don’t think I ever got in to a car with a teenage boy!

I don’t have that where we live now. DS mates all live miles away. I just gave him a lift to his friend’s the other day - 30 minutes down country lanes and single track roads with bad visibility. It’s such a worry.

Having the rule will discourage quite a lot so it's worth having.

You could include a family exception (which would include a spouse) if you like, but my view is "tough". Driving is not a human right. There is however a right to life.

New drivers should be on some sort of restricted licence. Until they've got a year's experience and are over 21 they should not be carrying passengers who are themselves under 21. They shouldn't be driving powerful or large vehicles until they've got more experience and have passed an advanced test - exceptions for agricultural tractors of course.

Which leads to a carful of corpses in far too many cases. I can't be the only one to have noticed that if there are any survivors, it's usually the driver. Passengers and other road users take the worst.

How do you police that with cars with tinted windows?
And how does that work for young parents? That also stops young people driving their siblings around. And car sharing to college, and work.

People can be married at 16 in Scotland, 18 England and Wales. You can drive your Mum but not your wife and kids.

It would make far more sense to raise the driving age to 18. When the lure of the pub is higher and safer than the lure of cruising around in cars!

Or maybe it could be a bit like motorbike licenses your restricted in the engine size you can drive - although insurance companies seem to be policing that.

I actually think under 21s should not be allowed passengers under 21.

YANBU - one teenager in a gang of mates passes his test and immediately the aforesaid pals think "free taxi!"

So the driver acquires a 'banger', held together by rust and string, they all pile in expecting chauffeur service, get silly and rowdy and urge the driver to take risks (especially if they clap eyes on a police car) and, sadly, it can only end one way.

We've had a few round my way. I had a former pupil who raced another car late at night. He hit a lorry.

He was scalped, but survived. His passenger died.

There have been a few cases of young drivers and their passengers being killed on country roads round here. OP is perfectly correct.

This kind of thing is nothing new but YA absolutely not BU.

I worked in A and E. Road accident with 4-5 in one car, 2 of them died. The driver of the other car, who was responsible for the crash, had passed his test 2 weeks earlier. He was driving too fast with his friends in the car. He's got to live with that for the rest of his life. As have the surviving family in the other car.

Much better him being sad than dead.

There’s a reason why we read and hear of regular tragedies involving lads (and lasses) in cars. Always too many in the car, often not wearing seatbelts, always about 17-20 and never driving slowly.

YANBU.

No, not unreasonable. The little idiots fly around the country lanes near me. How people aren’t being killed every day I just don’t know. When I walk my dog I often see cars driven by grinning teenagers fly by at 50+ in a 30mph zone. You’ve got a deadly combination of speed, inexperience, the urge to show off AND and the constant distraction of their friends. I’m dreading the summer. All you hear all weekend is the screeching and exploding of souped-up boy racer cars. They do something to their exhausts so they sound like flippin fireworks going off. It wakes me up.

But anyway, no, I don’t think you are out of order. There is a girl in my street who has spent her life in a wheelchair after some idiot teenage boy crashed his car and she was thrown through the windscreen.

@AlwaysNonStop no one is saying they can't go out at 9pm (well I'm not, if someone else has that's not what I'm agreeing with) but alternative means of transport could be sought. Taxi for example, or public transport. It obviously depends on the individual situation, popping across town in 30mile zones in rain at 9pm is different to driving 2 hours on the motorway at night to get to a concert, the latter I would have no difficulty in setting some rules around.

Listen, don’t for a second think I’m saying there shouldn’t be rules. You’re absolutely right on that. If you want your luxuries then you’ll abide by my rules BUT telling a 17 year old they aren’t allowed out with their mates at 9pm because it’s raining is very unreasonable. Would I want mine doing it? Ofcourse not, but where does it end? What about when he’s 18 and wants to go to a nightclub? Is that also too dangerous?

My mum stayed up until all hours probably worrying herself sick when we were out. We always let her know what time we’d be home or if we were staying out. She would stay up until we came in to see we were safe, right into our 20s and I fully expect to be doing the same with mine. You can’t hold your child back because of your fears

@AlwaysNonStop cute, but no, it's tough shit here, want your pretty car? Sky high insurance? Keep your wages for yourself? Then you follow our rules. Want to be an adult and set your own rules? Sure, I can't stop you, but you can be like an adult and fund it yourself. My son knows what he wants!

But it doesn’t matter whether his social life revolves around going out with his mates in car, hanging out at the gym, chilling in his girlfriends bedroom. It’s irrelevant. He’s 17 and needs to be able to make his own decisions. Providing he isn’t doing something illegal then in reality his mum should expect a general idea of where he’s going and an approximate time he’ll be home, that’s it.