Husband pooping

Put in a compost toilet in the garden (for him)

If I've understood this properly then:

1. You have a condition that means you sometimes need to urgently use the toilet.
2. Your partner is aware of your condition.
3. Your partner likes to sit on the toilet for ages for reasons unknown but not for obvious medical needs.
4. Your partner refuses to get off the toilet when you or your kids desperately need to go.
5. There is only one toilet.
6. Your kids have had to toilet in the garden several times because of your partner.
7. Such has been your need to use the toilet and his refusal to get off it, on several occasions you've had to shit in a plastic bag in a derelict goat shed in your garden.
8. Your partner seems fine with the current state of affairs.

Sounds like you need a grown up conversation with him where you spell out (probably again!) the upset this is causing you and where you ask him to adapt for the sake of his kids and you. If he's still unwilling to get his arse off the bog for just a few minutes then, sadly, I think your problem is him and not just his toilet habits 😕

Is he boiling your piss in the bathroom? No wonder he takes a while! :)

I'd be getting a Portaloo installed in the back garden! With his initials on.
Maybe my dh hurries as he's so keen to get back to his warm spot on the sofa and search for any programme to do with cars. But he certainly doesn't linger for half an hour.
And I've trained him to clean up, open window, spray air freshener so

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant totally agree with @Nicole1111 about a phone ban in the bathroom. I’m murder for going in the bathroom and then reading a book on my phone… I have stoped taking the phone into the bathroom now so I don’t get side tracked by it.

It would be interesting to see if no phone in the bathroom made his visits shorter.

Annoyingly my 8 year old son has started doing this, easily 30 mins a day 😩 No phone, no clue clue what he's doing in there, and he can't explain it 🤦

To the people saying it’s about wanking- it’s not necessarily that.
My DH takes up to an hour (!) on the loo every morning, even if we’ve just had sex.
Plus he WFH on his own all day, there’s no one else here, so he could wank anytime he wanted.

Mine says he wants to make sure all the poo is out so he doesn’t have to go back to the toilet the same day(?!). I pointed out two sets of 5 minute toilet visits is a more efficient use of time than one visit of a whole hour but he just looked blankly at me.

In that case I feel sorry for him!

How about just leaving him to it.....how bizarre. 😮

Oooh I should have called it 'shit and scroll' - just occurred to me 😂

That's made me really upset. I can't stand when men have no regard for their partners or children.

We have one toilet, DH loves a good 'sit and scroll' (don't ask, god knows the appeal) on the toilet but he knows this can only happen on an evening when kids are in bed and I've had a wash and been to toilet. Otherwise he has to take a normal amount of time like everyone else.

I've told DP that if he dies in there it'll be days before I start to think something's wrong.

People always suggest turning off the wifi for things, doesn’t anyone have data?!?!

I’d be hammering on that door after ten minutes and keep on hammering every few minutes until he comes out.

Tell him it’s not good to sit on the toilet so long, it can cause a bowel prolapse.

Unplug the router. If there's no internet and he's watching porn doomscrolling, he won't take so long.

Nasty. If she was desperate for a wee and they only have one toilet, what would expect her to do?

Turn off or reset the router after 5 mins on the loo. That will soon have him off the pan!

Bang on the door and tell him you are desperate for the loo and he has to move!

DH knows that he has to move as I have told him before he has been 20 minutes, then he says no I haven’t it’s been 5, then I say I have been timing him. There is no reason to spend 20/30 minutes sat in the loo not moving unless you have a medical problem.

DH tends to go at the most inconvenient times as well. Immediately when he get home from work (which is understandable as he works outdoors all day so can’t go for a poo). He’s been on the loo for 20 minutes now. He is slowly learning he cant hog the loo (we have one bathroom) between 7am - 8am when everyone needs to use the bathroom to get ready for school or work.

The other time DH loves to go for a long stinky dump is when I am in the bath! Once or twice a week when the kids are in bed I like to have a bath. Within 60 seconds of me getting into the tub I can guarantee DH will enter the bathroom for a long stinky dump. He seems to think I like company in the bath and I’ve had to explain to him to relax I need to enjoy a bath in silence by myself (with no foul smells!)

Step 1 - Hide his phone next time he’s due a poo. You can blame it on one of the kids. I’m sure he’ll be much quicker then you can highlight he’s making a choice to take so long as he’s clearly perfectly capable of doing a poo more quickly.

Step 2 - Record how long he’s gone for next time he does a poo then about that long before bedtime announce you need a poo and he’ll have to sort bed time. Go and sit in the toilet and refuse to come out, leaving him responsible for the whole bed time routine. Repeat this step on a regular basis.

Yeah I have a bowel disorder and while I may use the toilet more frequently I still am in and out quickly.

Reason #86 to be happy I'm single hearing all these stories 😆

Give him the same energy. Wait until the most inconvenient time of your day, and lock yourself in the bathroom while your husband deals with it. Keep doing this until he's in the habit of not taking 40 minutes. If he says anything, say you're pooing

It's amazing how quickly men stop doing things like this as soon. As it becomes inconvenient for them

Bowel changes following gallbladder removal is caused by something called bile acid malabsorption. You can get binders for it from the GP, a low level medicine that has changed my life if it’s a problem for you.

My advice re husband is turn the wifi off when he disappears in there and strongly encourage your kids to go and find daddy when he disappears. Every time 😂

He is probably wanking and watching god knows what on his phone.

He needs to have a bowel check. Bowel Cancer is on the rise.
Your husband needs to cut back on processed foods, walk about more, drink more water, eat more vegetables and oats.
He should have a check up as something is amiss.

Have a drop box or shelf outside the lav for the phones.
Set up a nook else-where that is quiet, private and ideal for 15 minutes of phone scrolling or reading a book or doing Suduku.

I have a father and brothers and a husband and sons. None of them take that long unless they are seriously constipated.

It's very bad for you to sit on the toilet for so long!