To just get a sick note as a single parent?

And how are they going to know she isn’t “sick” they won’t. Alternatively she can get signed off by doctor if she wants more than a week. But personally id just say Iv got a bad case of flu and have a week off.

@Thudercatsrule … you’ve got your priorities wrong. People with your perspective frighten me tbh because it’s a really inhumane, toxic and unsustainable approach to life! Op clearly works hard and contributes to society; i don’t see why she shouldn’t be supported occasionally when needed. That’s the kind of society i believe in. Maybe if the CMS was better she would not be left shouldering more than her fair share of the workload. Are you saying she should be punished for the things that her ex partner has done?? Because that is essentially what you are suggesting, and I find it pretty abhorrent actually. The employer can definitely cover the additional pay. They’d be paying OP were she present so presumably they aren’t literally about to close down imminently… even if they were OP has the right to support if she is unwell and unable to fulfil her role.

I meant in order to look at and support strategies moving forward. I'm not denying her need for a break now.

You say her Dad works in France during the week so does he have her at weekends when he is home? What about his holidays as surely he needs to use his holiday time also to support you/look after DD.

Phone in sick and if possible seek the support of your employer so that you don't end up in a vicious cycle of burning out and needing time off sick. But take the time first.

Mental health is the same as physical health. You need some time off, your employer is fine without you (although they know how to apply the pressure/make out they aren’t), your little girl isn’t (she can’t express how vital you are!). See your GP, trustworthy friends, cry it out if necessary! Be kind and gentle on yourself.

I have been a single mum since my DD was 2 - she’s now 8. My ex does 3 out of 13 weeks school holidays. It basically cripples me and I can’t get a job that I can hold on to. My parents financially support us - so grateful for that but they are too old to have her for more than the odd day so it’s still hard. A lot of the time I am mentally absolutely fine - and occasionally I crash. That’s okay! I have learnt to view myself with some compassion now. We are still better off single than with men who can’t show up equally for our DD. Big hugs! Xxx

Happy for our discussion to stop there, to take things personally over someone referring back to stuff you have said and having a differing view to you does not a good conversation make.

One last thing - I would rather be wrong and OP is a chancer/misusing sick leave then you be wrong and OP is in a real bad place. think about that.

If I was ‘genuinely’ ill questions my honesty.

you saying I am competing like illness is some kind of top trumps is putting words into my mouth. You are misconstruing what I m saying to try to discredit my view.

now you are saying I don’t believe she is ill. If I didn’t think she was ill I would have said that. I do believe she’s exhausted. Life is exhausting. I said go to the doctor for exhaustion because that’s what I meant.

please don’t engage with me on this post anymore. We aren’t going to agree and you are getting personal.

where have I put words into your mouth? or questioned your honesty?

if anyone is misconstruing others posts, it is yourself.

responding to someone is not arguing - I disagree with your interpretation of the OP and have read it in an entirely different way, the use of the words drained and exhausted are not to be taken lightly despite societies expectations that we should all don a stiff upper lip and plow on at our own detriment. I don't agree with this.

you don't need to go to a doctor immediately to take time off work.

You've also just completely shown yourself again with the quote you responded to 'OP wants a sick note because she doesn't have any holiday left'. So you don't believe she genuinely needs to see a doctor do you? Kind of makes your shouty capitals at me a bit redundant.

Absolutely why I have a problem. I don’t have a problem with people who say they are ill taking time off. The OP wants a sick note because she doesn’t have any holiday left.

You are putting words in my mouth that suit your purpose, questioning my honesty and ignoring where we agree so you can continue arguing.

I HAVE SAID THE OP SHOULD SPEAK TO HER DOCTOR.

Sorry for shouting. Just trying to make sure you didn’t miss the main point again.

I think the problem with this thread is the title ‘ to get a sick note as a single person’ and then she goes on to say she wants days off to look after her child. That’s lots of separate issues and lots of good advice.

1. Op is exhausted/stressed - then go to to gp and get help

2. Annual leave is used up - this is a separate issue to 1). Parental leave is the answer here.

3. Single parent - affects 1) and 2) - no dp/local family support etc, but the title reads that being a single mum is the reason/justification for getting sick leave, not that she is actually ill.

please point out the personal attack.

I don't believe that someone who is struggling, is at their wits end, who isn't coping and is exhausted is abusing the system by taking time out.

Yes they should absolutely go to the GP after 7 days to be signed off if needs be but that isn't necessary at first, you can self certify.

I have not said anything about stress, I have encouraged OP to listen to her body, to recognise the symptoms and risk factors of burn out and to not put companies over her own wellbeing.

you have been quite dismissive throughout this thread and it would be a real shame for anyone else who is reading this to be put off taking sick leave and is struggling because of it.

You are personally attacking me in your responses. I’m not competing or having a drop the mic moment, I’m explaining why I have a problem with people abusing the system. I have already said to the OP in a much earlier post, if you are exhausted, go to the doctor about exhaustion and get a sick note for that. Don’t go down the stress route because it’s easy. Surely you also agree the OP should be honest with her doctor so she can be properly assessed and treated? So, take note maybe of what I’ve already said before inferring anything about my meaning.

sorry trolling you? you have an issue with people responding to others on a chat site?

it's irrelevant what you've personally had, it still doesn't make you qualified to judge if someone else is at risk.

you may have had a hard time with illness over the years but it isn't a competition and the reality is, you have no idea what OP is experiencing.

As I already said she has risk factors. If you've genuinely been through it you presumably are aware of that and are also aware that exhaustion is sometimes a beginning symptom.

I'm sure you believe you've just had a drop the mic moment there but shock - I had burn out too and am also allowed to put my opinion across on the subject and actually as someone who has been there I am a lot more sympathetic to others now who are struggling.

perhaps take note

A like isn't enough to your post.

Did people ever stop to think that maybe people "misuse the system" because of the stigma that is associated with having depression, etc etc. People don't get to police how people how other people feel.

So. I'm contributing my opinions to the thread. That's how it works as you can see with other people's stories on the thread.

OP’s boss doesn’t do mental health days. That’s why she’s asking if it’s ok to pull a sickie.

I have a chronic illness and mental health problems and have been treated for both for over 30 years. Maybe that’s why I have a vested interest in people not misusing the system. Did you stop to think??

what do you mean "this". Exhaustion is a massive risk factor for burn out, being overwhelmed with responsibility is a second, having no time out is a third.

Plus you're not a hero for struggling on if you can't, it's actually really stupid and if less people had your attitude towards it then perhaps more people wouldn't be so worried about taking care of their health that they run themselves into the ground. As I stated previously, for companies who do not give a shit.

Glad my new boss advocates for mental health days. My previous boss didn't and 10 of us have left in a space of 2 months due to burn out etc, only 22 staff in total.

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If we all took sick leave because we were overwhelmed and struggling there’d be no bugger working 😂

This. Nobody is saying OP isn’t struggling and needs a break. Exhaustion is exhaustion. If it is bad enough the GP will sign her off for that.