To wish that my sister's boyfriend didn't stay over all week?

No no no no, my boyfriend now husband moved in with me around a similar age, he’s living with you 5 nights a week he should be paying his way it’s just the same. My partner always paid his way and he was always considerate of my family, he would check before using the bathroom if there was a rush. I also if there was ever any issues my parents would just talk to me.

your sister Bf should be paying his way, your parents should speak to your sister and tell her he needs to take the earlier slot.

In the short term I’d wait outside the bathroom door for your slot if you can and just go straight in when whoever it is comes out. And if your sister says anything just say it’s your slot and she needs to take it up with your parents.

Your parents use the bathroom for a whole hour every morning? 30 minutes each? Did you and your sister used to take the same amount of time, so occupy it between 7-8am?
Surely that's far longer than anyone needs - even if they're having a shower on a daily basis?!
When did you consider your 'slot' to be? Was anyone else aware of that? What's to stop you waiting oustide the bathroom when your parents are in it, and going in straight after them?

It's how it was back in the 70s. My boyfriend was allowed to stay over but in a different room. And parents bedroom door was open, so no creeping into the other room!

I don't see why DM or DF can't just go 'hi Will. We had asked Kate to speak to you re house rules so you didn't feel uncomfortable but she hasn't got round to it.

You're very welcome here but as you can see, it's not a massive house and with our Pippa, there are already 4 adults working similar schedules so space and bathroom times are tight.

Can you keep the overnights to 3 a week, and can you please use the bathroom in the morning at or before XX o'clock. You're welcome to shower at night but unfortunately not in a morning in the week.

Sorry Kate hasn't been clearer that we've got a rota. Unfortunately it's the only way to make sure everyone gets a turn and is out of the house on time.

Does that work for you? Great'.

He is probably totally unaware that he is causing you an issue, just speak to him and tell him that your sister has obviously forgotten to tell him about the bathroom slot allocation. It’s down to him and your sister to decide between them which of them takes the earliest slot. I would suggest a polite 2 minute conversation should resolve this.

Why? It's your home!

I guess I’m abnormal because nobody else has mentioned it but nobody in my family spends more than a couple of minutes in the bathroom so I’m assuming all shower in the mornings? All I do in the morning in the bathroom is brush my teeth. Everything else I can do in my bedroom. I bath in the evening.

Well no, it's him who should be doing these things (if he continues staying as much). Definitely not the OP. She and her parents need to set some ground rules and be firm.

Have a shower the night before and keep your toothbrush and toothbrush in your room. Clean your teeth at another sink. Downstairs toilet? Bathroom at work?
I have a lodger who is nice enough but very inconsiderate with the bathroom so I work around it...

If he's staying for the majority of the week he should be paying. At the very least, should be taking the slot no one wants/working around those who do pay. If he's staying that often I definitely wouldn't class him as a guest.

All I can think of is that the last person gets a warm toilet seat 😳

Can he not go in the bathroom with your sister and they just have an extra 5 minutes or so to use the toilet etc privately but tooth brushing, skin care etc, hair can easily be done at at the same time or just so it in their room.

It's not ideal but I wouldn't be expecting my child to wake up ridiculous o'clock to accommodate a stranger with his own house

tbh i would be mortified if i found out i was causing this much agg to my new gf’s sister and she was suffering in silence, so I think the bf would appreciate a heads up.

I don’t think it’s all that relevant whether he also contributes to the household as you still shouldn't be the one at a disadvantage due to him being there, but I also think it can and should be raised without doing the whole ‘You don’t pay rent here’ thing if he doesn’t.
Hope that made sense. And I also agree this should be resolved via your sis at first if poss.

I would calmly inform sis (but tell, not ask) that you’re reverting to your usual slot and that the rest is for her/her bf to figure out. If she still doesn’t do anything about it, that’s when, unfortunately, you have to say to bf, sorry Bernard, as I explained to sis last week, I’ll need to take my old bathroom slot back from you as it’s not working for me to have to get up earlier to accommodate you being here.

@77yt Why is he taking your slot? Tell him to bloody wait or get up earlier!

Tell him to F off one of them gets up earlier or he doesn't shower its that simple it's your home not his why are you all tip toeing around him and your sister .
They likely sent even realise its an issue because no one is saying anything tell them and see what happens

She should get more say than some random bloke!

She pays towards her living in HER family home

You are not unreasonable to find it exasperating, but you are unreasonable to think you should have any say in what happens in someone else's house. You don't own it so you get no say.

I think your parents should be managing this! Especially if you are uncomfortable about it. This is theirs, and your, home!

Five adults trying to get ready for work in the morning in one bathroom is too many! The bf needs to find a different solution like using the gym showers on the way to work and he shouldn’t be staying over that regularly in a crowded family home.

My father had the same attitude as yours. He was born over 100 years ago! I don't think many people have that mindset now.

Why should she move out? Surely her sister and bf should? They’d have more money to combine for a start.

He isn’t a guest if he stays every night, or close to it.

You need a discussion about the bathroom slots as he shouldn’t be taking yours. There needs to be a fair rota for everyone. He also needs to stay paying his way!

How long do you all spend in the bathroom???? There were 7 of us, and we all managed just fine. My own "slot" is 7.50, and I still get out of the house by 8.15 with my daughter.
Just tell them that you can't be getting up at that time in the morning and they need to work something else out, even if they end sharing your sisters slot. Thirty minutes I'd more than enough time for 2 adults to have a shower and s**t.

Unless he’s paying rent same as you, he can Jack right off, frankly. CF.

Jesus. The parent who won’t allow an adult to have a partner stay over… because it’s improper? Unseemly?

If your children can be responsible and sensible and mature over a partner, why do you have to act like such idiots about it?

Not at all - l would never say that anyone is sub-par or anything like that. It’s hard for younger people to understand, but what I’m describing was pretty much the norm years ago. It was called respect.

Of course sex before marriage happened but it wasn’t promoted or encouraged, and certainly not under your father’s roof.