To stop?

'The girls' don't sound like people who are doing you any good, to be honest. Most people's girls' nights out are not routinely fuelled by cocaine. It sounds like you've out-grown them, and you're a better person for it.

You mention that your mum was an alcoholic, and I'm wondering whether you maybe have a slightly skewed idea of what's normal when it comes to drugs, alcohol, addiction etc?

Having someone tell you that you "become a different person when you drink" is a bit of a red flag in my view. At least, it should've been for me, as several people told me this when I began my decent into alcoholism. I was under the cosh of the bottle for 17 years and it was horrible.

People who have a healthy relationship with alcohol don't tend to become different people when they're drunk. They're just a less coordinated less self-controlled version of themselves. But amongst alcoholics and problem drinkers it's very common for a 'switch' to take place when a few glasses have been consumed. So, I would take his comments seriously and do some thinking about your relationship with alcohol.

I did a bit of soul searching on drinking, particularly because hangovers are just terrible at this age and wine doesn’t agree with me

the bit I find nicest is about half a glass of wine in, when I have that lovely mellow buzz. So now that’s what I aim for - when I get there, I stop and have a fizzy water, then I’ll drink the other half glass. I’ll usually drink a glass of water to quench my thirst too. Means I can do a night out on 2 glasses of wine and maintain that nice buzz, but never get out of control or hungover

lots of alcohol free options now too - good beers that are good if you’re in a round

I don’t start arguments or anything I just change my accent for some reason

If you are drinking regularly to the point where you start doing weird stuff for no reason, like changing your accent, I'd say that's a) a concern and b) massively annoying. It doesn't matter whether you start arguments or not - you are apparently drinking enough on a regular basis for it to be very obvious that you've been drinking and for it to change your normal behaviour into something different (and odd). I would find it cringey and unattractive if my partner starting talking in a silly voice every evening because he'd been drinking.

Unless there's a drip-feed coming in which we learn that your husband is a massive controlling bully who dictates every aspect of your life, I do think you need to rein it in with the drinking. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic or that you have to stop drinking entirely, and I am absolutely not one of those Mumsnetters who thinks anyone who drinks more than the recommended units per week is a problem drinker! I'm generally pretty relaxed about alcohol consumption. But if you're tipsy enough for your husband to notice, by 8pm, on most nights, then that honestly doesn't sound like a reasonable pattern of drinking to me.

100% feel free to cut down on your drinking. Just be honest with yourself though- do you think your husband’s comments came from a place of love or control? Can he really tell if you’ve just had a drink- or is he trying to frighten you? The fact you’ve cancelled a night out with friends doesn’t sit well with me. It just makes me question his motivation slightly

I would stop drinking if I were you. Give it 1 year dry and reevaluate ♥️

Hope you are okay! Hearing home truths can be hard xx

Given your Mum, I personally would stop drinking, it would scare me that I might end up the same. You can tell yourself whatever you need to (like you won't drink until your birthday/Christmas/summer holiday, whatever. Then reassess at that point). You don't have to think about it being 'forever' at this stage.

id go out with my friends & drink something else (juice/alcohol free 'mocktails' but that depends. Are you saying you won't go because you can't imagine having a good time not drinking, because of their reaction or because you don't think you can be 'out' & not drink??

find a non alcoholic drink you actually enjoy

Be honest with yourself - How many units are you having a week? You don’t need to tell me.

Your DH isn’t saying you just change your accent though. He is saying your a different person and not is a positive way. How much have you been drinking? Why couldn’t you go out with friends and not drink alcohol? Children of alcoholics are much more likely to become alcoholics themselves.