To stop?

I think you've got this inverted. Why not try flipping it so you don't drink anything Monday to Friday and only drink in moderation at the weekends.

I'm not going to vouch for what's normal because I probably only go out drinking 3 or 4 times a year. I don't bother with drinking at home as it's a "going out" sort of activity for me.

Good luck with it.

How about a bottle a week with your dp, means half a small glass per night. That's ok I think and more of a habit rather than a problem. Mix it up some nights with herbal teas, hot chocolate etc. You're definitely not alone, I know many people who drink wine most evenings. It becomes a problem when it changes your behaviour or you gradually want more and more. You see very aware so I don't think you have a problem, it's about control, not letting ho completely. Often when you let go completely then you might crave it then the problem becomes self created

When the kids were around 4+ I was drinking (roughly) a bottle and a half of wine (split a bottle with DH on 3 nights) plus 2 or 3 cocktails a week, occasionally more if a big occasion. My guess is that I was one of the lighter drinkers of my peers. Cut that down to a bottle a week and maybe one cocktail when the kids were ~ 9 and then a year ago cut down to half a bottle a fortnight due to DH being diagnosed with a condition that meant he needed to drink less. Haven’t noticed much difference with most recent cut back, but going down to half a bottle a week + 1 cocktail was huge change and made me realise I should have done it much sooner.

Have you ever got help for the OCD?

I love your posts being it’s like you are gradually realising what is happening. I’m also the child of an alcoholic, we don’t have a ‘normal’ to look out for. It’s all or nothing.

I don’t think that you are a bad person. You just need help for the OCD and alcohol (which are very likely connected).

@Mommatron2 very random I came across this as was talking to my partner about this yesterday as he is having MH issues and mainly triggered by his upbringing. You would never think it looking at the family at all perfectly standard from the outside. One thing he mentioned was his parents drinking and how they regularly drank a bottle a night they aren’t big drinkers as in going out but were/are big at home just a glass while cooking, followed by another etc. a clear memory was having to wake his mum up from the sofa when he was going to bed. It wasn’t that they were abusive or anything but reflecting he said what were they doing they have a kid and work the next day. It’s clearly something that’s stuck with him as a 34 year old

You are not your mother, @Mommatron2 .

And this little wake up call doesn't mean you're becoming her, either.

Your partner has pointed out something that is within your power to change, and which you are changing.

Being less than perfect doesn't make a terrible person or an awful mother, I promise.

I think there are sub-groups in society where it’s very much the done thing, especially for a few years. Pretty much all my friends with professional jobs drank more nights than not in our 20s. Then things settled a bit and then in our late 30s when we started having children, drinking picked up again. Wine at the end of the day once the kids were in bed to unwind. Wine at afternoon get togethers. Cocktails with Sunday lunch, etc. Anytime we got together, alcohol would be suggested and usually drunk. When kids got to be about 6 or 7 it started slowing down again. In part because at least 3 of my friends gave up altogether - fueled by realizations like yours.

So I don’t think you’re the norm, but also not that unusual. Drinking culture in the UK can be problematic but it looks like you’re getting a handle on it.

For what it’s worth I cut right back myself and there have been a lot of benefits.

It sadly is very common. I do a little work around eight to ten year olds and they do have some eye opening insights to their parents behaviour.

Make sure though you find something that is your release, your relaxant. Also don't forget to step up time for yourself - hobbies activities etc. I think sometimes drinking can also be a filler for loneliness or boredom

You don’t need to not go out because you aren’t drinking , I’ve been a non drinker since I was 19 and it has never stopped me socialising . Just tell people you are having a dry month and have a soft drink .

No, you’re dealing well with it. No one has to drink - and I stay well away from people who pressure others into drinking. I would also drop the friends who do drugs.

There is a middle ground - I like a glass or two at the weekend, but that’s it.

But if you’re at all concerned about the amount you’re drinking, cutting it out totally or at least for a while might well be your best option.

You definitely seem to have a skewed view of alcohol and "everyone is doing it". No, they're really not. Most people probably have a couple of drinks at the weekend or when they're socialising. Those who are drinking every night are not doing themselves, their body or their families any favours whatsoever and it will catch up with them eventually.
To answer your question about does it affect your kids? Yes, yes it does. I know a functioning alcoholic. She would never admit to it though. Her kids, now adults, choose to have nothing to do with her when she does finally deign to get in touch.

I agree @Mommatron2 even at some of my NCT meetups the wine would be cracked out! I enjoyed it at the time but looking back it is a bit strange.

My rule is that I don't drink inside the house - pub lunch on a Sunday? I'll have 1, maybe 2 glasses of wine. Film night at home with my husband? I have a hot chocolate instead.