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Original poster

A wedding question

331 replies

askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 08:34

Hi,

Partner of 9 years has finally (😂) started to make some noises about us getting married. He has floated the idea of a beach wedding in somewhere abroad (initial idea is Santorini) with just nearest and dearest (parents and bridesmaids etc) and our children there, followed by a party back home to celebrate where we can invite wider family and friends. He seems to think this would work out cheaper than a UK wedding. What are people's thoughts on the financial aspect of abroad versus home, and also just general pros and cons of each I might not have considered?

Thank you!

OP posts:
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6
BarrelOfOtters · 24/03/2024 09:10

I’ve no idea what santorini is like for kids you might want to check that. …. But I know people who’ve been who have said it’s expensive, and lots of cruise ships. They keep going back through so…

Maybe price it up fo a family at that time of year.

when young free and single I loved an abroad wedding. With small kids, having my leave taken up with a place I haven’t chose would be more of an issue.

Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:10

PaulGalico1 · 24/03/2024 09:07

@askingaquestionaboutthis I was trying to be polite with 'cross' you are right rude is much better.

Ok 😂

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Loopytiles · 24/03/2024 09:09

UK weddings can cost as little or as much as you like.

vanocks · 24/03/2024 09:09

Even though I could afford to, I wouldn't want to use my funds and annual leave to travel to a place I've never wanted to go, when I have a list as long as my arm of places I do want to go to.

Stickyricepudding · 24/03/2024 09:08

My concern is that 2027 is so far away and you're legally unprotected in the meantime. That's just me but I suppose everyone's priorities are different. Goodluck with whatever you decide.

Changingplace · 24/03/2024 09:08

We got married abroad, invited people with 18 months notice and no pressure whatsoever, we picked a destination that would work for family holidays.

We didn’t dictate where anyone should stay or for how long, some people chose to stay at the same place we did but plenty stayed in other accomodation, you’ll never find one place that suits everyone so don’t try.

All we said was the wedding is in X day in this location, if you fancy a holiday there would be lovely to see you but apart from that make it your own holiday.

We didn’t do a party at home afterwards, the wedding was the wedding and for me doing that would’ve defeated the object of wanting a small celebration. If it’s really massively important to you to have that big celebration with everyone there I’d question if a wedding abroad is really for you.

I remember looking at Santorini and discounting it at the time as it was expensive and not accessible, and we had a couple of guests that we didn’t want to discount due to the venue not being ideal, although everyone was welcome not to come if they didn’t want to.

PaulGalico1 · 24/03/2024 09:07

@askingaquestionaboutthis I was trying to be polite with 'cross' you are right rude is much better.

Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:07

RandomButtons · 24/03/2024 09:05

Much cheaper to find a nice little venue and do small do here to be honest. I know pretty venues here you can do everything for 30-40 guests for £4000. Just add dress, suit, rings and a few flowers.

Edited

My friend reckoned I'd be struggling to get the whole cost under 20k in this country! Hers was close to 30k. That's what's put me off😩

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Loopytiles · 24/03/2024 09:07

On your initial Q your DP’s suggested option seems unlikely to be cheaper than a larger UK wedding, for you as a couple, even if you pay nothing towards your ‘overseas’ guests’ travel and accommodation expenses. Unless perhaps the UK celebration involved no or v little food/drink that you pay for.

Giving a lot of notice to the ‘overseas’ guests doesn’t address most of the negative factors for them.

Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:07

@MollyButton
Ooh you might have a point there! His words actually were, "I know my mum and dad wouldn't bother coming if it was abroad", so maybe it is a way of ensuring they don't. I'd have to dig deeper on that one.

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Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:05

@PaulGalico1
Lol where have I got "cross"?! 😂😂
I am responding to posters in the exact tone that they are posting in. If they don't want me to be rude back, they might wish to consider their own posts.

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RandomButtons · 24/03/2024 09:05

Much cheaper to find a nice little venue and do small do here to be honest. I know pretty venues here you can do everything for 30-40 guests for £4000. Just add dress, suit, rings and a few flowers.

Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:04

@Stickyricepudding
Thanks, but partner doesn't want to do a registry office. He wants a larger ceremony.

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MollyButton · 24/03/2024 09:04

Okay is he suggesting this as a way to ditch his own parents?

Could you do a nice registry office with just your kids?
Then have a party (and even a "promise ceremony" or thanksgiving service) somewhere cheaper. You could even make this less accessible for his parents.
Otherwise it is going to cost at least £150 per person for flights.

www.santoriniweddings.net/how-to-i-get-married-in-santorini/
It seems as if you need a civil wedding and have to be in Santorini for about 20 days.

PaulGalico1 · 24/03/2024 09:04

@askingaquestionaboutthis then think about listening to posters rather than getting cross because you are not getting the responses you want.

SecondHandFurniture · 24/03/2024 09:03

That's incorrect.

https://www.gov.uk/marriage-abroad/y/greece/uk/oppositesex

"Your marriage will be recognised in the UK if:

You won’t need to register your marriage in the UK."

Marriage in Greece - Getting married abroad - GOV.UK

https://www.gov.uk/marriage-abroad/y/greece/uk/opposite_sex

Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:02

PaulGalico1 · 24/03/2024 09:01

I think you have already decided on the wedding abroad and don't want to hear how difficult and costly it is likely to be for your family to attend. In particular bridesmaids who feel obligated to attend and will have all the additional costs.

You think wrong. Would I bother wasting my time posting if I'd made up my mind? 🤔

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Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:01

Beckafett · 24/03/2024 08:59

Have you been to Santorini? One side of the island gets a huge amount of tourists from cruise ships and it's not somewhere I would want to be in the summer.

Thank you!

No I haven't. So this is helpful to consider.

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Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 09:01

BeaRF75 · 24/03/2024 08:58

2027?? You want to get married, so just go to the Register Office and do it now for a few hundred pounds. You can also choose to have a family holiday in Greece, if you wish.
But absolutely nobody wants to hear you banging on about a wedding for the next 3 years, nor be expected to save for that long to attend a marriage abroad.

Wow. Such hostility.

Actually the initial response I've had from my closest family about our thoughts has been overwhelmingly excitement and happiness! We are a very close family and believe it or not, I LOVED listening to both my sisters "bang on" about their own special days for ages in the lead up to the day and also helping to plan and be a part of it, because I love them and was excited for them too!

We aren't all misery guts you know, some people have close families who share each others excitement and joy!

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PaulGalico1 · 24/03/2024 09:01

I think you have already decided on the wedding abroad and don't want to hear how difficult and costly it is likely to be for your family to attend. In particular bridesmaids who feel obligated to attend and will have all the additional costs.

mnahmnah · 24/03/2024 09:01

It depends on the country and whether they have an agreement with the UK for it to be legally recognised. Just like you can only get married legally in licensed premises in the UK. It had to meet certain conditions for it to be legal.

SleepingisanArt · 24/03/2024 09:01

A factor other than the cost is that you are asking people to use their annual leave to go to a place they might not want to have a holiday. (Or are you expecting them to fly in the day before and fly home the day after?)

Original poster
askingaquestionaboutthis · 24/03/2024 08:59

Also my friend told me that a wedding abroad isn't legally recognised in the U.K. and so we'd need to pay for a ceremony here too to make it legal - does anyone know why this is?

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WandaWonder · 24/03/2024 08:59

So this will be on school holidays? May make it pricier