A wedding question

Ah, beautiful. And your nails are gorgeous too. Have a happy long life together.

You paying for all those you want to travel to go. Depends on everyone s holiday leave too. Don't get upset with anyone who can't come. Up to you but why not do a register office and a party if you want to say money. Or just two of you and two witnesses in a register office no party

I agree plus I think abroad wedding and party back home is just pointless - if you’re getting married abroad just get married and be done with it, surely it’s also defeating the point of it being any cheaper by paying for a big party?

If you want to get married abroad fine, but if you got married in the UK and some people couldn’t make it you wouldn’t put your dress on a week later and have a party with them so why do it in this situation?! 🤣

People can't win. Get married abroad and invite lots of people. Response is oo no too expensive no time off work etc. Get married abroad don't invite anyone and have a party after and you're not happy with that

I think abroad weddings and a party back home is really cheeky tbh.

You aren't invited to our wedding because we don't really care if you are there but come to our party and give us a present.

Congratulations 😍

Congratulations. What is your ring like? Do you love it. Did you choose it? So many questions 😀

Congratulations!
🎉

Our son got married in Italy last year

He lives in Australia. The bride and mother Austalian, father of the bride lives Hongkong and guests from England, Ireland, Scotland and America turned up for it

It came about as the Brides mother and step father were doing the "tour of europe' so it seemed like a good idea to hire a villa and get married there so that as many people as possible to get there. The only costs to guests were their own flights any food / drink they wanted outside of the villa ( villa was booked for 5 nights with caterers for 3 nights , most guests just staying those three nights )

However it wasnt legal in Australia so they had to do the registrars office back there and they threw the party for friends after that :)

It wasnt cheap, but all three families contributed to the costs so it was actually cheaper for us as Dad and Stepmum, only flying to Italy rather then Sydney, just four nights away rather then the three weeks ( not having to pay for dog boarding nor a carer for mum ) and all the other asscociated costs for long distance, long stay

Neice and Nephew got married in Greece, just their parents , best man and MOH ( a couple so no +1's ) and had the party for friends back home

Its hard to ask people to give up their holidays to come to a wedding abroad and pay their own way. I personally wouldnt ask anyone to do it Its expensive enough to go to a wedding in the same country

Had a wedding abroad, loved it. All guests had a blast and still talk fondly of it 10 years later. Been a guest at two weddings abroad. Loved them. Would do it again in a heartbeat if money allows. Not everyone hates a destination wedding ☺️ so many Negative Nancies on wedding chats these days.

Agree on the savings thing. I save for my future, not for parties!

And yes, no one says to your face that your wedding was a ball ache. But whenever I meet one friend, he and I share a moan about his brother's wedding abroad! (The friend singles me out for this because in his words, my husband "is a relentlessly positive bastard", and won't say a bad word about it, whereas I was pregnant and had a transparently horrible time.)

Weddings abroad can feel a bit naff and false. And the couple commit others to significant expense.

People who marry abroad and say their guests were really happy need to remember that guests will never tell the bride and groom how massively inconvenienced they were.

I got married in Santorini. Paid for the evening before, the open bar at wedding and pool party the day after for all guests. It cost the same as a wedding here minus the open bar for guests. We only invited 15 people. Santorini is also one of the few greek islands where you can legally marry. We paid a power of attorney to sort the paperwork the day after. If you book in good time, you can get some good deals on hotels etc. you will get a wedding planner included in the cost if you go with one of the well known locations e.g santo wines so really easy to actually plan the wedding. Best time of our lives, absolutely no regrets.

I got married abroad - we had no kids - just three friends. Both from different countries and families wouldn't travel. We short if eloped and didn't tell people until we got back.

I agree with the above poster, factor your siblings kids into your cost as a gesture of goodwill. It's so presumptuous to say wedding is 2027 so they have time to save - three kids and they are expected to save money for your wedding choice that you having abroad to save money ..... Another thing, the annual leave issue. Weddings abroad usually hoover up three to four days at least.

Unless you are set on a beach wedding, why not pick a nice venue at home with late afternoon slot and the party after that. Marry at a local registry office no fuss but have a celebrant 'marry' you again in all your finery at the party. Does have to be the same day. Friend did this and it was great fun.

The poster above mentioned there are loads of ways to cut costs. Make a Pinterest board - a zillion ideas. You have more than enough time.

Good luck OP

This is harsh and so unnecessary. Shes been with him 9 years, whats another 3 to have the wedding she wants? Shes allowed to mention what her friends, partner and family think and feel, when people are basically bashing her for wanting a wedding abroad and saying no one else will be wanting to go. Not everyone wants to meet, get engaged and married within 2 years. That seems incredibly rushed to me, but I wouldn't keep ramming it down someones throat, especially when they've explicitly said they feel the opposite. My mother and her husband got married after 25 years together, its not always everyones top priority you know?! Yes lots of men (and women) will be stalling and stringing their partner along, but what other people do hasn't got any bearing on ops partner, and I'm pretty sure she knows him best. Shes asked for advice on whether getting married abroad is too much, stick to the topic and lay off relationship advice (criticism) she hasn't asked for and whilst you're at it keep your preconceived ideas about reltionships and their marriage timelines to yourself.

I'd also on be hacked off if my family had to spend £000 on an overseas wedding just because the groom doesn't want his parents there but doesn't want to actually say that to them.

You've continuously posted that it is all what HE wants and he won't listen to you. Bodes well 🙄. Perhaps the status quo is the better option
You've said, more than once, "my friend said"
You also mentioned that your parents are excited about Greece and your sister has always wanted to go there.
Were you quite young when you met OP? Just curious about you just going along with what everyone else wants and says, especially him. I mean, it's your money as well right? Will be your ring? Is that truly where YOU want your finances to be directed over the next 3 years? Especially if there are no assets

And "clearly" you know nothing about me and my wishes because it absolutely IS about being married to the man I love. Choose to believe or not believe that, I don't care😂
Clearly it isn't otherwise you wouldn't be waiting another 3 years. For a holiday and an expensive ring 🤷‍♀️
Of course you don't care, waiting for a 'proposal', or do over, because it's already been done but obviously wasn't insta-worthy, kinda explains that😂

Same here. I like weddings, I like to see people I care about being happy... but I'm not going to be excited to the point that I want to spend a fortune, and give up the summer holiday I really wanted to go on.

Sorry, OP, but I agree with this. Nine years and he's still stalling? And it sounds as though he's creating obstacles to a wedding: he's suggested a small wedding abroad, but he doesn't want an equally small wedding in the UK? In other words, he's happy with a small wedding as long as it'll be difficult and time-consuming to plan?